5 common mistakes in anger management

Managing emotions is one of the most common challenges in today’s society. In addition to anxiety or sadness, anger is one of the instinctive and universal emotions that generates the most interference in personal well-being.

Let’s see how dismantle a number of beliefs about anger management it can enable the individual to cope more effectively with situations which may lead to such reactions.

    The harmful consequences of anger

    The uncontrolled expression of anger can cause us significant damage in different areas of our personal life.

    1. Deterioration of interpersonal relationships

    We seem to have shown more instinctive anger reactions with people in our immediate environment (family, friends and colleagues) i.e. the most important personal relationships tend to be the most damaged.

    2. Aggravation of the conflict

    Usually when you try to talk to another person when the anger level is intense, the exchanges are not constructive because at this point, the emotional part of the brain is dominant the response of the individual (to the detriment of the most rational brain).

      3. Facilitation of violent functioning of the person

      The responses manifested by anger are often associated with the expression of violent behavior and aggression (verbal or physical) towards the other. Thus, when anger dominates the psychological state of the subject the greater the instinctive desire to hit, shout, threaten, Breaking objects, etc.

      4. Predisposition and greater proportion in the appearance of diseases

      From research in the field of health psychology, the personality known as Type A (hostile, irritable, and high stress levels) is associated with a high propensity to suffer cardiovascular events.

        5. Personal emotional instability

        A marked difficulty in managing anger can lead to dysfunctional psychological states such as depression, anxiety disorders or feelings maintained in times of insecurity, guilt, low self-esteem, low tolerance for frustration, etc.

        Myths about anger management

        Here are some misconceptions about anger management:

        1. Anger decreases if it manifests openly

        It is true that anger must be channeled in one way or another because, otherwise, its unlimited accumulation and maintained over time can lead the person to the onset of the consequences outlined in the previous section.

        however, this channeling does not necessarily have to be done by its active expressionAs it has already been observed that an operation based on this emotion leads to an internalized attitude of responding in this way to any situation, whether it is irrelevant or very transcendent for the individual.

        2. Running away or avoiding the problematic situation reduces the level of anger.

        Being a strategy commonly referred to as “downtime”, it is sometimes advisable for the person not to expose themselves to situations that could trigger such reactions.

        It is true that, as noted above, trying to have an assertive conversation to facilitate conflict resolution when one is very upset is generally neither effective nor helpful. So at first the person can postpone the confrontation of the situation for a limited time, provided that once the thought process (which allows for a more rational, empathetic and understanding analysis) is completed, it resolves the outstanding problem in a calm and assertive manner.

        3. Anger allows you to achieve the desired goal

        This idea is, in addition to being false, very dangerous because it conveys the message to people in the environment (especially in the case of minors) that this is the methodology to follow to obtain what we are proposing: the generation of fear of the other, of non-dialogue and ultimately of contempt for the dissident party.

        Not all of these values ​​yield emotional well-being at all. On the other hand, this is false because generally, given the different styles of communicative and behavioral functioning (aggressive, passive and assertive style), the person who uses anger (aggressive profile) he may encounter a reaction of opposition to his behavior (If you are dealing with another person who is aggressive – dysfunctional opposition – or assertive – functionally opposed).

        4. Personal history analysis fights anger

        Studying the psychological development of the individual can be useful in understanding the factors that have driven the current functioning and attitude style of the individual in question.

        However, from the perspective of one of the psychological currents with the most empirical support, the cognitive-behavioral current, it is the elements of the present (personal, environmental and their interaction) that primarily determine the behavior of “ the ”. To be human .

        The so-called “functional analysis” of the individual and the responses he gives to certain situations it will be much more useful to know which aspects precipitate, maintain or aggravate anger behavior. These are the ones that can affect to achieve real behavior change.

        5. External events are the only causes of individual anger

        In view of the above, the external elements which appear in the situations in which the person shows anger reactions must be taken into account in the same way as the internal or personal factors must be considered. TREC, or Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy by Albert Ellis, advocates the in-depth analysis and questioning of a series of nuclear beliefs that the person has about themselves, the environment and the world in general (irrational beliefs ) which prevent the application of a more logical, rational and realistic interpretation of the situations to which the individual is exposed.

        Therefore, a fundamental part of the level of emotional affectation that produces everything that happens to the person on a daily basis is given by the cognitive interpretation of the situation, and not of the situation itself.

        In short, it is understood that in the face of unpleasant events, the person can work and change the perspective of these events, the result will affect the emergence of a more adaptive mood.

        Learn to manage your emotions

        As has been observed, it seems that good anger management is essential to prevent a number of consequences that can compromise our physical and psychological health.

        From the argumentation on the falsehood of the five premises exposed on the management of rabies sustained over time, a more in-depth knowledge can be gained on what can be the alternative forms of more adaptive management of this type of disabling emotion.

        Bibliographical references:

        • Ellis, A. (1999). Control her anger before she controls you. Paid: Barcelona.

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