Childhood is the vital stage in which we are most sensitive to the influence of the environment and the way we interact with people.
Not only is this the time when we begin to understand what the world is like and build our perception of reality on the foundations of these learnings, but our brains are developing at such a rapid rate that even a small change in the how our neurons communicate. can leave a mark … or emotional wounds that will recur in years to come.
And it is that the impact that the environment has on us when we are children can be a change for better or for worse. We already know the changes for the better: learning to read, move, communicate, perform operations, and everything related to basic education inside and outside school. however, the changes for the bad, which will emerge in our adult life, are already more difficult to identify.
The wounds that our childhood leaves us
The painful experiences that take place in our early years can become a confusing cross in our memory, so it is not easy to relate them to the unhealthy habits and behaviors of our adulthood.
This list of emotional injuries is a guide on how to identify those footprints that could have left their mark on us years ago.
1. Defensive attitude
The basic form of the painful experience is abuse based on physical or verbal assault. People who were beaten or abused as a child and / or teenager tend not to be safe as adults, but not necessarily shy. In many cases, a simple wave of the hand can scare them off and put them on the defensive with a bot.
This defensive attitude is not only reflected physically, but also psychologically: these people show a propensity to mistrust, even if they do not always express it with hostility but, sometimes, with polite reserve.
2. Constant isolation
Children who suffer from neglect can develop serious problems when they reach adulthood, especially if their parents are not providing the necessary care. As it began to be seen through the studies of psychologists John Bowlby and Harry Harlow, childhood isolation is linked to serious emotional and relationship problems in adulthood, As well as sexual dysfunctions.
3. Anxiety and fear of others
If the isolation occurs in a more moderate way, its consequences in adulthood may come in the form of difficulties in social skills and intense anxiety when dealing with strangers or speaking for a large audience. .
4. Fear of commitment
The fact of having formed strong emotional bonds which were then suddenly truncated this can lead to the fear of embarking on other romantic adventures. The psychological mechanism that explains it is the strong pain it causes to remember what it is to feel a strong affection for someone and to spend a lot of time with that person: one cannot just bring up these pleasant experiences that were spent in company without going there. by the influence of memories of the loss of this link.
Philophobia, or extreme fear of falling in love, is an example of this phenomenon.
5. Fear of rejection
Neglect and bullying or bullying in school can make us feel predisposed to self-exclusion from informal social circles. Getting used to rejection in an age when we don’t have the tools to understand that it is not our fault causes us to stop fighting for dignified treatment, and the fear of rejection prevents us even from exposing ourselves to it. evaluation of others. simply we spend a lot of time alone.
6. Contempt for others
The emotional wounds received during childhood can lead us to integrate classic sociopathic behaviors in the way we behave. How do you feel that others behaved like predators when we were vulnerable, we move on to incorporate into our thought pattern the idea that life is an open war against others. In this way, others become possible threats or potential means to achieve desired goals.
Being overprotected by parents or guardians allows us to get used to having everything we want and that as we reach adulthood, we live in an eternal state of frustration. The most negative thing about this is that, to escape this frustration, a new protective figure is sought, instead of struggling to learn the behaviors necessary to gain autonomy over one’s life.
This is a type of behavior typical of people who have become accustomed to being fanciful and demanding of others.
8. Satisfied slave syndrome
Having been subjected to exploitative situations during childhood, even if it means being forced to spend most of the day studying at the request of parents or guardians, shows a predisposition to be exploited in adulthood. It is thus understood that the value of oneself as a person who sells his labor power is very low, and that this must be compensated by long periods of daily work.
In a context of high unemployment, this can lead to professional stagnationAs one tends to accept all the precarious jobs that are offered.
In addition, gratitude is felt for the people who benefit from this exploitation, which can be called the satisfied slave syndrome.