Have you ever looked forward to the holidays, but in the end they did not give you the rest you imagined?
It is clear that physical and emotional rest is necessary, so much so that when a person has worked he is entitled to vacation by law, and in the academic field he always devotes an estimated time to rest between semesters.
If we are in the role of household and family chores, the situation is no different; The wear and tear of the routine with the kids is great and often stressful, so we find ourselves in need of taking a much needed vacation. But many times emotional conditions avoided and, therefore, accumulated, do not allow us to have a pleasant vacation.
The phenomenon of anxiety during the holidays
Holidays: they are synonymous with rest, a change in routine and sharing time and space with family or our solitude. However, we are surprised when instead of finding peace we want to run away, our irritability increases or we always seek to be active. It is here when we realize that anxiety takes over the long-awaited vacation.
There are several factors that can affect the person feeling this emotionally, including needing to be aware of our emotional reality, family conflicts, or standards of perfectionism.
Untreated psychological processes, such as bereavement, emotional wounds from childhood, low self-esteem or emotional pain, are partly avoided with heavy daily routines, chores, chores … our emotional state.
This strategy is called experiential avoidance., which has a specific purpose and is not to deal with what affects emotionally. However, it is there on vacation when you have a lot of free time and you cannot escape, that you have to face this reality denied for months and that it is now difficult to avoid. bringing us emotional distress.
On the other hand, although the family dynamic freezes a bit and becomes bearable again when you are not at home or when you share very little time with your partner or family, be present again and share the experience. ‘space and time these inconveniences in the dynamics of the home reappear and family conflicts become more constant; we realize that emotional distance does not definitively resolve family inconveniences, on the contrary, grudges and misunderstandings accumulate by stressing everyday life.
Another reason anxiety increases and persists over time the perfectionist personal standards that sometimes frustrate and sabotage our vacations.
In this condition, two situations arise. The first does not allow us to profit from the successes and the work accomplished in our professional or academic field, because we have a feeling of insufficiency and our result is not approved by ourselves; even though we have been praised, we do not accept them and spend our time bitching about dissatisfaction that we did not do a better job.
The second does not allow us to rest because of the guilt feeling of feeling that we need to be busy, we think that by resting or stopping work we are wasting time, money or opportunities.
This way, free time is martyrdom and emotional discomfort arises, anxiety increases, taking away calm and affecting vacations.
What does this situation generate psychologically for us?
These ailments drain us emotionally; Anxiety disrupts sleep, uncontrolled eating behaviors, causes muscle discomfort, causes skin irritability and, conversely, we do not find the long awaited rest but an emotional fatigue.
So, if you are having emotional issues without working out, this would be a good time to start a psychological process and catch up with your sanity.
Yoana Andrea Losada Escobar
Yoana Andrea Losada Escobar
And what can we do?
If your family situation is the problem; Starting with dialogue routines can be a good way to deal with family dynamic issues. Of course, if that doesn’t work; it is better to seek professional help.
Finally, if your situation is one of perfectionist standards and you feel anxious to remain inactive, it’s time to ask for help; not only to have a good vacation with free time, but also to celebrate and appreciate the successes achieved and the work accomplished.
So a good plan for this vacation would be to avoid more and start to catch up with your sanity, this will give you a break with which to start your new work tasks.