Managing emotions is our big hobbyhorse, especially these days our freedom has been restricted.
The pandemic is beating our habits and mobilizing us to create new routines. It is normal to feel intense and disparate emotions and, without realizing it, we get carried away by them. Here we are going to look at some keys to learn how to deal with them.
Managing your feelings about being imprisoned at home
Being able to identify, to name what we are feeling, will help us to take back the reins of our mind. We cannot control external factors, but we can control the relationship with our emotions. Allow us to feel them, experience them and let them go without trapping or negatively conditioning our relationships. Without hurting us, anything, or anyone.
In these times when coexistence is closer, good management becomes more important, so we must try to avoid conflicts and not add a higher dose of tension.
Throughout my work as a psychologist and my experience as a meditator (for years), I have synthesized five steps grouped into two phases, which help us to improve the management of our emotional world. they are steps to experience the emotion directly from the time it begins until it fades. They allow us to find where we need to work most closely and observe our trends. Identify those who condition us and prevent us from good management.
In my sessions, I accompany patients on this path as an internal resource so that they learn to manage their emotions in a healthier way. Total attention to each step allows them to get to know each other better, Gradually releasing the knots of conflict. Every movement needs careful consideration to make explicit what moves on an unconscious level and move towards a more complete and caring life. Let’s take a quick look at this route.
Emotions are energy that unfolds for a cause. They emerge, develop, physically resonate in our body and then disappear. They can be deep, coarse or subtle, kind or harmful. Sometimes there is a primary emotion and other secondary ones; a more emerging and a deeper one. In any case, they have an impact on us and are not always controllable.
The first step is to become aware of how we are feeling. Connect with our heart to free ourselves from the emotions that trap us. Unfold this awareness in every movement of the process.
1.1. Realize that something is going on
You have to open up an internal space to connect with what moves inside: stop and feel. If we are very distracted and busy, the emotion can grow internally and act disproportionately in the face of any stimulus that triggers it.
An involuntary thought can crop up in our mind and cause us to sweat, speed up our heart or our restlessness, leading to uncontrolled anxiety. We can be angry and find out when they are grabbing our attention because we change our tone of voice without even being aware of it.
Recognizing this emerging energy is the first step in not being overwhelmed by the situation without realizing it.. Consciously inhabiting and feeling our body will help us recognize that something is emerging.
1.2. Identify the problem
Once we recognize that something is manifesting, we need to stop, observe and name it.. We can be angry because it scares us to be sad and we externalize it with anger. Anger can trigger one’s plans and manifest itself in aggressive and uncontrolled behavior, hurtful words, or other more subtle and no less painful compartments.
If we identify the emotion, it will be easier to deal with it: “I am scared, angry and upset by what is going on”. Feelings of frustration or fear can be fueled by this anger. Uncertainty, lack of freedom, change generate insecurity and fear. Expressing it, telling it, making sense of it with the word, will release a great unnecessary burden and help us take the next step.
1.3. Accept what we feel
If we have identified what we are feeling now, it is up to us to accept it, to embrace it without going back: not to deny it, not to minimize it, not to repress it … We have to be honest and daring to explore by adapting to reality, without sweeteners or additives.
Pain is inevitable, but there is more pain that we can decide whether or not to add. To accept emotion is to open up to it. Feel it in our body. A conscious connection with him facilitates his release. Identifying the heat of anger, or the pressure on the chest of anguish, allows us to give space to these sensations from the center of our heart outwards.
Sometimes we get stuck here because we don’t accept. We don’t like our reality and we got into conflict. We have obsessive thoughts. We deplete our energy and injure our body. We compulsively eat to silence anxiety or we become lethargic with the mobile rereading absurd memes to deviate from reality. To accept is to look with affection, respect and welcome what is open to us so that we can let it go into the next phase.
Emotions are manifestations of our mind. They take place motivated by thoughts or tendencies that we have incorporated throughout our lives. They have a trajectory, an intensity and then they spontaneously dilute, if we allow it. The body has the ability to self-regulate and naturally regain its homeostatic balance. One of the qualities of the mind is its space.
Given these two premises, emotions have no interest in staying with us. We are the ones who hold them back by blocking and solidifying (with pain, discomfort or disease) their manifestation. We must keep moving forward to self-regulate.
Once we have accepted the emotion, we have to let it go. Do not keep it, send it back, or hide it. It’s easy to sink into your thoughts and get trapped like flies in honey. We save memories, reproaches, fantasize with misfortunes or thoughts tinged with pain, fear or any other color.
We welcome the emotion into our mind, without giving ourselves other options and solidify their sensations in our body leading to pain and discomfort and in the long run, illness. Learning to let go is learning to live lightly. Surf our mind and surf with the waves.
Once we let go of our emotions, we can observe that they leave us a deposit. Like the aroma left by emptying a perfume jar. If we want to keep moving forward, we can go one step further. The most difficult and interesting.
After having experienced our emotions more or less intensely, we can continue to move forward with other resources to enrich ourselves with the experience.
On the one hand, identify the most recurring emotions and explore our own “antidotes”: Choose the path that leads us to well-being and thwart what leads us to plunge into suffering and to anchor ourselves to it.
On the other hand, observe our mind and how each emotion unfolds we can distill this underlying nectar in every process. For example, we could transform an emotion like pride, which distances us from the rest, into self-esteem, improving our self-esteem. Envy, which nourishes resentment and bitterness, in the joy shared by the successes of others. Uncertainty in recreating the resources to learn to live in the present.
The interesting thing to About this process is that it is not limited to a discharge or a more or less intense experience of our emotional world.. It allows us to explore each step in depth and to enter into an intimate connection with ourselves: what drives us inside; identify our injuries; what is repeated over and over again; know the emotions that arise most easily or unmask the trigger to deactivate it.
We are generally very responsive to external phenomena. If we react when the conscious process is not finished, it is easy to do so from a place that hurts us or harms others. If we become aware, gradually our mind will soften and the emotions will leave less imprint. Like writing on water. We will be more understanding, creative and thoughtful in our responses.
The reality we live in is not easy. We must maintain a center of serenity to counter the difficulties. Allowing us to feel our vulnerability without being swept away by anxiety, fear or frustration.
Getting to know us, being nice to us, is a first step. Asking for the help of a specialized psychologist to accompany us on the path of self-knowledge and management of our emotional kaleidoscope, can give us the opportunity to take a new path in the way we relate to ourselves – themselves, to others and to our environment.