The fear of being a mother is one of the most unnoticed psychological phenomena, although it is experienced by many women. This is not something to be taken lightly, because it corresponds to motherhood, a fact that transforms from day to day who is going to have a baby and who therefore thinks about this whole process through a strong emotional involvement.
In this article we will see why the fear of motherhood can arise and what can be done to overcome it.
Fear of motherhood: possible causes
Fear of becoming a mother is relatively common among women who value the possibility of becoming pregnant for the first time or who are already pregnant. In the latter case, the emotional impact of the news of the pregnancy can cause severe suffering even if they had already planned to get pregnant. Ambiguity and ambivalence of feelings is a very characteristic thing when the fear of motherhood is present.
Below, we take a look at some of the most important key ideas for assessing what may be the causes of this fear, in each case.
1. Is pregnancy desired?
Some women confuse the fear of being a mother with just not wanting to be a mother. Due to the traces left by masculinity that has prevailed for centuries in virtually all cultures, there is a tendency to overlook the will of women in terms of their own ability to conceive, assuming motherhood is a phase in life they will have to go through, When this is not the case at all.
Not wanting to have children is, of course, a perfectly legitimate thing, and the social pressure that can lead to seeing the refusal to have a baby as a problem. it should not be seen as an individual problem, but as a collective and community problem.
2. Fear of medical complications
Many women are afraid to think about the danger of childbirth. While fortunately in most developed countries it is possible to give birth under very safe medical care conditions, there are times when you cannot rely on this guarantee (either because of where you live, or by other material conditioning). On the other hand, this danger can also be overestimated.
In addition, in many cases, a double fear is perceived: die herself as the baby dies.
3. The fear of not being prepared
It is also very common, in cases of fear of motherhood, to view motherhood as a task that requires many skills and competences at once, not leaving time to ‘practice’ it without exposing the new one. – born to risks or dangers. The new role of the mother is seen as a total transformation which you have to adopt totally different habits, Which is not easy to do or to plan.
4. Fear of transmitting problems
Beyond the possible imaginary inability to be a mother, there are also those who are afraid to create a new life, as they assume that they might have an unhappy existence because they were born to the one who was born, inheriting a whole series. problems.
How to overcome the fear of being a mother?
As we have seen, the fear of being a mother is not based on the refusal to be a mother, but on the fear of creating big problems from a pregnancy, even if there is something in motherhood resulting in attractive or even not at all and wanting to have a baby. In other words, there is a duality: you want to have a son or a daughter, but there are a number of obstacles which can hurt the suffering woman or the unborn baby, or both, which are almost inherent in the process of becoming a mother.
Each case is unique and the intensity of this fear can vary considerably.. For women who feel particularly bad with this anxiety, it is advisable to consult a mental health professional, but for the rest it may be enough to try and apply some very basic and simple principles that we will see below. .
1. Find out about health coverage
This is a very basic first step that can avoid a lot of hassles. Seeing how medical teams can respond to the needs and potential problems that arise during motherhood is a relief. On many occasions, it is better not to do this so as not to have to think about the pregnancy (Since it produces anxiety), but if you overcome this first hurdle, much of the fear will go away.
2. Evaluate the material conditions in which we live
If there is reason to believe that motherhood is materially unsustainable due to lack of resources, it is advisable to postpone the pregnancy, but for this it is important to seek a third opinion, as the fear of motherhood this can greatly distort our point of view.
3. Start learning to be a mother
It is true that caring for a baby is a responsibility, but it is not a task reserved only for an intellectual or physical elite: with an appropriate learning process, this maternal or paternal role can be well exercised.
Just getting involved and learning over the past few months makes us feel more prepared and the fear of being a mother goes away, while also increasing self-esteem.