How does it feel to have clinical depression?

Depression is a serious problem and, despite the great strides that have been made, there is still a strong stigma against people with the disease.

Beliefs like they’re just sad, or they’re like that because they want to become comments that patients with depression also need to hear day in and day out. People who have never had it don’t know what it’s like to have clinical depressionNor does he give it due importance.

Then we will try to put yourself in the shoes of a depressed person, Going through each of the moments he has to endure in his daily life, the comments of his closest environment and the situations that plunge him more, in addition to describing, in a general way, what clinical depression consists of.

    How does it feel to have clinical depression?

    You wake up, but you can’t move. Maybe you were awake before the alarm went off, maybe it was the pi-pi that woke you up. Either way, you can’t get up. It’s not laziness, or waking up too early. The problem is that it doesn’t feel like coming out on a new day, a day that we’ll see as wasted when Sun sets. There is no energy for that. All you want is the day that has just started to end and go back to sleep.

    You have been waiting for this to happen for a long time. You want it to be just a seasonal thing, a bad time. You think time heals everything, but more time seems less convinced than you are.

    You have to get up. You start, but at high speed. You have to go to class or work, but because these are obligations. You don’t want to at all. Your family, roommates, or partner are forcing you out of bed. They tell you that you should have a better face, that there aren’t so many, that you maybe make a mountain out of a grain of sand. It seems like no one can understand you, and that doesn’t help.

    Other times, you are the one who makes sure that others do not understand it, because you do not express it directly. Do you think: what’s the point ?, why waste time and time again explaining something you think they won’t understand? In the eyes of others it is that you are just a little bit rotten, at most something sad for something bad that has happened to you.

    You are afraid that when you explain it, they will think that you are crazy, broken, that you are not going to be healed anymore. You think that being like that is only for the mentally ill, the people you think of are not like people anymore, people who can’t thrive. This is why you hide your feelings, worries and tremendous suffering under the guise of a smile.

    Beyond sadness

    In popular culture, depression is synonymous with sadness. small we learn that laughter is synonymous with happiness, and that crying is synonymous with sadness. So, based on these ideas, we hide in a smile, forced. People do not pay enough attention to the nuances, to the laughter which, behind them, hides deep discomfort. If we don’t cry, if we don’t have a preoccupied face, we are not depressed. This is how simple people think.

    Maybe we are saying we are depressed, we are expressing our discomfort. But in the worst case, people cannot put themselves in our shoes. If we don’t cry all the time we can’t be depressed, and if we cry then we are dramas. Depressed, weak men, depressed, exaggerated women.

    But this is it in most cases they lack the energy even to cry. We think it’s pointless, not even to let off steam. In our childhood, crying, even if things were not settled, satisfied us afterwards. We released the sadness, the anger, the rage, the tension. Now we have to make an effort to shed just a few tears, leaving us in tears. We were left in the middle which made our situation worse.

    This difference between their own propensity to smile and laugh from others and from themselves, makes many depressed people feel even worse, due to this emotional divide that shapes them and separates them from the rest of the world. This situation makes it even more difficult to have incentives to socialize and, by extension, to expose oneself to stimulating situations.

    melancholy

    We are the shadow of who we were. Our daily is characterized by our absence. We may be physically in front of our friends, talking, or next to our partner in bed, but our mind is far away. We think about other things, and they are not good: will I be okay ?, why am I doing everything wrong? Am I a failure? How should I kill myself?

    Look at good old photos. When you went to the gym, when you stayed to party, when you went to class and you had your group of friends … In the photos you look smiling, and you remember what you was feeling at that time. Maybe one day you were sad, but others you were happy too.

    You were a normal person who might have complained about certain things. The normal. Something bothered you, like everyone else. You were happy without knowing it, like everyone else. The person in the photos and the one you see now in the mirrorAlthough the body and its memories are the same, they appear to be two totally different individuals.

    Personal relationships get complicated

    Those who don’t understand you like to make hurtful comments, taking advantage of your complete inability to be and feel as normal as other people. They say, “You are like this because you want to be.”. They tell you, but you don’t have the strength to answer them, arguably, how wrong they are. You don’t have the strength to ignore them either. If they feel the same as you … if it costs them as much as you to see the light at the end of the tunnel …

    When you get home, you remember those malicious comments, which are repeated over and over again in your head. They make you spend long hours thinking about how to tell them how things are, that it’s not a decision.

    Depression is unlike any other experience that can be had by people who do not have a diagnosable psychological disorder, which contributes to the fact that depressed people also have to deal with the fact that others do not understand them.

    Poor management of emotions

    You can’t someday decide to stop being depressed, hopefully! You ruminate on all day saying that you would tell her to convince and seek out some of her empathy, instead of just ignoring them and letting the day run healthier.

    Instead, you start to hurt yourself, physically. You clench your fists and stand behind your head, or grab a box cutter and start cutting yourself. I don’t know why you are doing this: Are you punishing yourself for not knowing how to handle the problem or is what makes you feel like it lives inside you, owns you and you want it to go away?

    Anyway, this surge in energy, which instead of using it in something profitable, you used to hurt yourself, go down and make the lack of desire to do anything, the inability to feel pleasure. Are you in the mirror and wondering why I did this to myself? You convince yourself that they are right, that you are the problem and that you don’t want to stop hitting bottom. These ideas turn into a dangerous vicious circle.

      Depression is serious

      All of this described here serves to understand what it is like to have clinical depression. It is the daily life of thousands of people around the world who for some reason have not received the proper treatment.. Family support may be of some help, or it may sink us even deeper. The days begin as they end: with an urge to go back to sleep and not wake up.

      Despite the great progress that has been made in the destigmatization of people with mental disorders, there are many who face the ignorance of the people, who, mixing myths and lack of empathy as ingredients, they blame them or despise their state of mind. They think it’s just a bad time, that there’s no reason to give it more importance and that if it doesn’t get better it’s because you don’t want it.

      What is very clear, depression is a mental disorder and as such should be treated like the crippling and harmful condition that it is. Depression, as a mental disorder as it is, is as serious as medical conditions, such as cancer, and disabilities such as quadriplegia or intellectual diversity. The patient cannot enjoy a full life, nor relate to others, nor go to work.

      Sadness, hopelessness, and general discomfort become so severe that they don’t just affect psychological integrity. of the person, but also to their physical health. You notice aches, dizziness, nausea, loss of strength … How can you not take it as something serious?

      In addition, the person may experience changes in their sleeping patterns and eating behavior. He may sleep less, wake up too early but be unable to go back to sleep, or he may sleep more, perfectly achieving twelve consecutive hours of sleep. As for food, she can completely lose her appetite, which will cause her to lose weight and become malnourished or, if not, binge eating, with her consequent increase in weight and body dissatisfaction, worsening the course of depression.

      The fun is lost on things that were once appreciated. It can be trivial things, like listening to music, playing video games or walking, or more complex things, like studying, participating in sports tournaments, restoring a car … The person no longer feels pleasure for things that were once a source of joy, that kept him alive.

      Studying and going to work become daunting tasks, because the person very easily loses his concentration. He cannot study because he does not understand what he reads, and at work he is more likely to make mistakes and have accidents. He loses the thread of conversations, which can seriously damage his social sphere, making his interlocutors think that he simply does not want to hear them.

      His self-esteem is at a minimum. You can’t look at yourself in the mirror and think it’s a failure as a person. He doesn’t think he needs to improve, he doesn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is one of the main causes that depressed people end up committing suicide, believing that no matter how hard they try, they will never feel good again. He thinks he has bottomed out, that he won’t descend any further because he is not down, but it is impossible for him to come back to the surface. He sees only evil, being a victim of the low level of negativity with himself.

      Bibliographical references:

      • American Psychiatric Association (APA). (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.
      • Belloch, A .; Sandín, B. and Ramos, F. (2010). Manual of psychopathology. Volumes I and II. Madrid: McGraw-Hill.
      • National Collaborating Center for Mental Health. Depression. (2009). The treatment and management of depression in adults (updated edition). National Clinical Practice Guideline No. 90. London: British Psychological Society and Royal College of Psychiatrists.
      • Perestelo Pérez, L .; González Lorenzo, M .; Santana River, AJ; Pérez Ramos, J. (2007). Decision support tools for patients with depression. Quality plan for the MSPS SNS. SESCS; 2010. ETS Reports.
      • Smith, M., Robinson, L. and Segal, J., (2019). Coping with depression. United States: HelpGuide.org. Retrieved from: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm

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