How to control anger: 7 practical tips

Problems with anger are a common reason to seek professional psychological help.

There are even therapists who specialize only in the anger control and the aggressiveness, Data that tells us this is something that affects many people. How to control anger? This is precisely what patients are asking for, as it is often difficult to deal with the aggressive tendency or anger – without outside help.

Today, we tackle the issue of anger and aggression and offer some tips for dealing with it.

What exactly is anger?

Anger is an emotion characterized by a rapid increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and blood levels of norepinephrine and adrenaline. It is also common for the person who experiences anger to blush, sweat, warm up their muscles, breathe faster, and have their body energy increase.

Being an emotion related to the aggressive impulse, some experts point out that anger is the manifestation of the response our brain gives to attack or flee from danger. On the other hand, the mental state of moments of anger makes us instinctive and decreases our ability to reason.

The causes of anger

Anger can result from a state of insecurity, envy, fear, etc. Anger can also appear when we are unable to face a specific situationWe can hurt or disturb the way people around us act.

In short, anger or aggression often appears in situations that we perceive as a threat. Therefore, anger is based on feelings such as fear, apprehension, frustration, or even fatigue.

When we feel frustrated about something, we can react in different ways. In this case, one of the possible reactions to frustration is anger. Aggression, on the other hand, is the outward manifestation of the anger we feel.

Anger arises automatically when faced with certain situations that prevent us from achieving goals or objectives. The emotions we feel do not just happen, but each one has a specific function. In case of anger, the brain causes this state to prepare us to make an effort superior to overcome the difficulty presented to us.

Types of anger

Anger has different facets and takes different forms:

1. Aggressive behavior and violence it may appear as a way to achieve different goals when we have not been able to achieve them without resorting to violence. In this case, we could speak of an instrumental anger, because we use it as a means of obtaining something. Therapists associate this behavior with poor communication skills or self-control, but there will always be room for improvement.

2. It may appear anger like an explosion, Because of having endured an unjust or worrying situation for a long time. Thus, the small daily frustrations accumulated and, by dint of not expressing our discomfort, we ended up exploding at one point or another. The solution to this kind of vicious circle is to manage anger well, and not build up until it explodes.

3. Anger as a defense it occurs when we perceive that they are attacking us or that we are facing a difficulty. We generally tend to react negatively more by intuition than by objective facts, which can lead to objectively unwarranted anger.

How to control anger? Some tips for handling it

Be aware of the causes that lead us to a state of anger it is a big step towards a good management of our upheavals. Learning to control anger involves learning to rationalize certain irrational emotions and impulses and to relativize the reactions that certain life events produce in us.

Otherwise, aggression and anger can lead us to a permanent state of vigilance which can lead to bad personal experiences. Therefore, one of the key factors in anger management is the self controlBut the following dynamic behind the development of anger prevention should also be highlighted:

1. Do not accumulate anger but manage it correctly

When something unfair happens and we don’t react, we build up anger and anger. Sooner or later all this anger that we keep will explode and can lead to an episode of verbal and / or physical violence. Therefore, it is important to deal with assertiveness and control issues, so as not to let the anger ball grow sometimes.

2. Avoid the win / lose mentality

On many occasions we get angry in reaction to the frustration for not having achieved certain goals that we have set for ourselves, or when something did not go as planned. In these cases, the empathy it is the hallmark of those who know how to manage frustration, control anger and accept adversity with sportsmanship. We must avoid presenting interpersonal relationships as a game in which we win or lose.

3. Reflect on the causes and consequences of our irascibility

Think about it and analyze if our emotional reaction is really justified can help us. Often times we don’t think about the reasons why we have broken out into a rage attack, such as when we are driving a car and instantly react by insulting or gesturing to other drivers when they do something wrong.

At this point, it would be vital to ponder why we react this way: have you thought about the possible consequences of an anger episode while driving? Seen this way, it can be interesting to find these situations differently.

4. Get enough rest

When we are physically or mentally exhausted, our anger reactions and aggressive urges are more frequent and we have fewer tools to deal with them. For this reason, it is necessary to rest and sleep the necessary hours: both quantitatively (sleep at least 8 hours) and qualitatively (get good rest).

In addition, there are several times of the day when we are most vulnerable to outbursts of anger, and it varies from person to person. We are able to control anger when we are rested because we can analyze situations better.

5. Relaxation, meditation, self-control …

Relaxation is the best way to avoid it anger attacks. There are different ways to relax: playing sports, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, taking a hot bath or any other method that happens to distract the mind and bring us to a state of positivity.

In fact, at specific times when we detect that we may be having an angry reaction, it is a good idea to try to breathe deeply and slowly for at least twenty seconds: this will allow our body to detoxify itself from negativity. and the irritability we feel.

6. Avoid irritating people and situations

We need to avoid finding ourselves in situations where we know they can increase our anger or lead us into a negative state. You are also likely to know some people who particularly irritate you (the dreaded toxic people).

If possible, you should try avoid contexts in which we know we can explode, And as with the people who irritate us, it will sometimes be impossible not to have contact (bosses, any member of the family in particular), so as much as possible, one should try to speak to this person so that it not be irritating.

7. Therapy with a psychologist

Help from a professional and accredited psychotherapist it can decisively help manage these types of emotional reactions, especially when a point has been reached where aggressive behaviors resulting from poor anger control are common.

The psychotherapy of these cases aims to modify the attitudes that generate anger situations, and allow cognitive restructuring to be carried out so that the patient can manage and control his anger. Certain emotional control techniques are also used to control anger and thus manage aggression.

Bibliographical references:

  • Azrin, NH and Nunn, RG (1987). Treatment of nervous habits. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
  • Crespo, M. and Larroy, C. (1998). Behavior modification techniques. Madrid: Dykinson
  • Cavall, V. (comp.) (1991). Handbook of Modification Techniques and Behavioral Therapy. Madrid: 21st century.
  • Froján, MX (1998). Behavioral advice. Brief psychological therapy. Madrid: Pyramid.
  • On the left, A. (1988). Use of methods and techniques in behavior therapy. Valencia: Promolibro.
  • Payne, RA (2005). Relaxation techniques. Practical Guide. Badalona: Paidotribo.
  • Vallejo, MA, Fernández-Abascal, EG and Labrador, FJ (1990). Behavior modification: case analysis. Madrid: TEA.

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