One of the most prevalent cultural traits in Western societies is, without a doubt, negativity. Whether in the media, in the home environment or coming from ourselves, it is almost automatic to see things from the worst point of view.
The negativity bias only filters the bad out of what happens to us, while the good is less valued or directly ignored. How to deal with negativity? It seems like an impossible task, but it is not.
Below, we’ll see what techniques we can follow to deal with this type of pessimistic thinking, as well as to delve a little bit into how we ourselves are largely responsible for our happiness and inner peace.
How to deal with negativity on a daily basis?
Our degree of inner peace and happiness depends, in large part, on ourselves. It is true that there are some external factors such as the opinions of our loved ones, the media or the world economic situation that can influence in such a way that we see the world in a negative way, but we must not forget what it is we who decide whether or not to put the filter of negativity.
Despite this truth, this reality is very difficult to understand. We humans tend to recreate ourselves in our woes or blame others or our destiny for the evil that befalls us, or that there is no reason to be optimistic in this world. Normally we think this way if we only look at what we think is wrong. However, we have to understand that there is nothing inherently good or bad, but a lot of it depends on how we view it and, more importantly, how we treat it.
Negativity is the collection of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that fuel sadness, anxiety, and all kinds of self-destructive behavior.. If we adopt a posture loaded with negativity, it is normal to feel that our plans to be happy and achieve inner peace are frustrated because negativity and happiness are opposite concepts. It’s like throwing gas on a fire and getting angry because it won’t go out.
But even though negativity hurts us, we almost never stop to wonder if things really are as bad as we think we see them, and neither do we make a conscious effort to focus on the good things of. life. Of course, we should be the unluckiest people in the world because absolutely everything that happens to us should be bad. As we said, it’s all about filters: if the filter is positive, we’ll look at the good stuff; if the filter is negative, we will look at the bad one.
If we stop to think and analyze the way we see things, we will surely notice that in many cases it is our way of seeing things, marked by the most extreme negativity, that feeds our bad mood and our pessimism. Good and bad things happen to us, but the bad becomes the center of attention and the good becomes something tiny.
It can also happen that we are optimistic people or that we make an effort to see the bright side of things. however, there is always someone around us who sees things badly, Apologize for just being “realistic” and trying to make us see things “as they are”. The problem is that his way of seeing the world is not absolute reality, rather the opposite, but of course it plunges us a little into misery. It’s not that he’s a bad person, it’s not that he wants to see us suffer, his negativity filter just distorts the world he perceives and he doesn’t realize he’s in. the mistake.
Whether we are negative people or someone close to us who wields a significant influence, there are a number of guidelines for shedding this negativity, helping us to see the bright side of the huge world we live in and to understand that our happiness and inner peace often depend on ourselves and how we decide how to perceive what is happening to us.
Characteristics of negative people
Before we go into more detail on how to deal with negativity, we’ll find out what the main traits of a negative person are, so that we can identify them in ourselves or in people with whom we frequently interact.
In order to deal with pessimism and negativity bias, it is necessary to understand what behaviors are associated with it.. Negative people usually exhibit the following:
- Excessive comparison with others.
- They always focus on what others have and what they don’t.
- Little adaptability.
- Excessive dramatization.
- Constant complaints, the main topic of their conversations.
- Surrender to any problem or misfortune, no matter how small.
- Unrealistic decision making.
- Catastrophic thought.
- They coexist with negativity.
Strategies for dealing with negativity
Below we will learn how to deal with negativity, whether it comes from ourselves or from a loved one, a family member, a coworker, or anyone around us who has an influence. significant on our mood.
1. Don’t judge others
It is very common for negative people to judge and criticize others. We look for and see each other’s negative traits. We look for his flaws, his complexes and everything that we think is wrong. But it does not go with the others, it goes with ourselves.
When we look for evil in others, what we are really doing is projecting what we don’t like about ourselves. We judge others by hiding how very critical and harsh we judge ourselves because we don’t feel satisfied with who we are, but we don’t want to acknowledge it.
On top of that, constantly looking for the bad in others won’t make them treat us well. No one wants to be around someone who has their complexes. It’s only a matter of time before I tell someone who has white hair, who’s going bald, who’s fat, or whatever trait we consider negative no matter how much that person accepts what their. body is like she doesn’t want you. to remind us how badly we see in her.
Stopping judging others is a good step to avoid negativity. People will treat us better and we will not be as aware of what is supposed to be bad in ourselves or in others. There ain’t no one perfect, but no one ain’t no good eitherWe will always find something good in others and in ourselves.
2. Stay away from negative ideas
This advice seems very free, but it is really possible to get rid of negative ideas, even if it is not easy, and the key is not to obsess over them or try to eliminate them completely.
It is normal to have very established negative thought patterns, mental automatisms that are difficult to take into account and stop. These are depressing, pessimistic ideas, sometimes full of hate. However, just because they are automatic does not mean that we cannot question them.
It is essential that in order to avoid negative ideas, we detect them first. They will come suddenly, they will start to invade our consciousness, they will overwhelm us, they will get angry and interrupt what we were trying to do. At first, you will have to be very careful to “slow them down”, try to calm them down and keep them under control.
It is a matter of practice. If we start to notice that they are starting to manifest, we stop and focus on a source of stimuli or memories with the ability to capture our attentional focus. If it’s something that can be fixed, let’s do something to fix it. If it can’t be fixed, it doesn’t make sense to focus on it. Ruminant makes us lose time and energy, and mental fatigue is the gateway to more negativity.
3. Stay away from sources of negativity
As we said, happiness and peace depend on us, but in many cases there are external factors, difficult to control, which ruin our mood and optimism. We live in an inherently pessimistic society, and it is mainly the media that is responsible for this: the culture of negativity, or rather that of fear, is very ingrained in the media.
Just watch a TV news. An attack on such a city, a flood in this country, such an illustrious person has just died of cancer … The problem is current affairs. They will rarely talk about something good that happened in the world, of a place too big and too varied to happen sad events. The media greatly conditions our way of seeing the world in a negative light.
Fortunately, there is something we can do. Stay away from the negativity with which we are often bombarded by the mediaThis is a great way to start the path to happiness. It’s not that we apologize for having to be totally ignorant of what’s going on in the world, but we have to filter the information we want to receive. There is a sad news that knowing them is of no use to us, because there is nothing we can do to change them, either because it is impossible or because they are far from us.
A good way to filter this information is get to know much of the news through local media. Obviously, not everything they put into it will be good news, and it is very likely that some nasty international news will creep in. However, these media are designed to promote local goods and services, as well as to foster publicity. local culture and learn about the events that happened. nearby and so we can do something to help when needed.
4. Stop the prejudices
Bias are beliefs that can give us a false sense of security. After all, having the world deciphered and understood in very specific categories and on the basis of little data is a convenient and quick way to look at it, as well as assume that you have more control over the circumstances. However, prejudice takes us much further than it gives us, especially if it is loaded with negativity.
Opening the mind is a great way to attract happiness and peace of mind.. It means being awakened to new ideas and getting to know a world so huge that it can’t be possible that everything is bad. We let go of the false certainties and certainties of prejudice and allow entry into a new reality, leaving between love and understanding and pushing aside hate and false beliefs.
5. Focus on the positive
As we said, anything that happens to us will be very difficult. Something bad can happen to us, but good things will happen too. We must not allow the sesog of negativity to camp in its air and only make us see evil or condemn us to a filter of pessimism.
Focusing on the positive doesn’t mean being unrealistic or downplaying the bad things that, in their fair measure, should be taken seriously. It means to stop seeing the world as a terrible, dark, gray place.
6. Don’t argue to argue
Whether we are negative people ourselves or need to be in a relationship with one of them, it’s common for conversations to turn into discussions. Everyone sees things differently, and the most pessimistic people can even be sarcastic with those who want to see the bright side of things. If he or she doesn’t want to see it in a positive light, let’s step aside a bit.
The idea is not to leave him abandoned, but it is avoid getting into a confrontation if that cannot bring objective benefits. If we are the negatives, we need to know how to identify when we are taking on a tone that will lead us to discussion. Stopping for a moment is a really good idea, and we can also try to change the subject briefly, to talk about the scenery or something that is inherently neutral.
Discussions can generate very polarized opinions and highlight arguments that can become another reason to be wary of the world, seeing people as people who always want to impose their opinion. This fuels the negativity even more.
- Rozin, P .; Royzman, EB (2001). “Negativity bias, predominance of negativity and contagion.” Journal of personality and social psychology. 5 (4): 296-320. doi: 10.1207 / S15327957PSPR0504_2
- Peeters, G. (1971). “Positive-negative asymmetry: on cognitive coherence and positive bias.” European Journal of Social Psychology. 1 (4): 455–474. doi: 10.1002 / ejsp.2420010405