How to get back together after a breakup: 8 tips to follow

There are beautiful, romantic and fun moments in the life of a couple, but there can also be problems, conflicts and discussions that end sooner or later: a breakup.

Breakups are painful, something completely natural. Assuming that someone you loved no longer loves you is hard and leaves a wound in your heart that burns for a long time.

But there is no rupture that cannot be overcome. It involves a lot of effort, but it can be achieved. Knowing how to start over after a breakup this is what we will discover below.

    How to start over after a breakup

    Breaking up with your partner is never easy. Whether it’s the three of us who broke up or our ex, breakups are arguably one of the most painful experiences we can have. Regardless of what was the dynamite of the relationship, the breakup upsets us so much that at that moment it makes us feel like we will never get over it. We come to believe that this pain will never go away.

    Breaking up with someone is so disruptive to our lives that breakups are one of the most common causes of seek psychological help. Although they rarely progress to a pathological state, there is no denying that they can affect our mental health, especially if they misbehave or have passed away unexpectedly.

    To help you move forward, throughout this article we’ll look at how to get back on track after a breakup, although we’ve covered this before. there are no magic recipes. It is a process that requires patience, effort, introspection, strength and, above all, time. You have to trust the passage of time, which, in the end, is what ends up healing the wounds.

      Mourning a breakup

      For some, talking about grief after a breakup may seem strange. Why call it mourning if no one is dead? Nobody died, but one thing: a life together. When you’re dating, it’s inevitable to think long-term, to believe that in the future you’ll continue to be together. and, because of this belief, illusions, projects, hopes are elaborated… Everyone dies when the rupture occurs, which is why we can end up living with a lot of pain.

      When we break up with our partner, whether it’s us who broke up or the other has left us, we begin with a period of mourning. This duel is expected to go through both sides, but it’s usually whoever is left who suffers the most. There are people who, after a breakup, take time to tell their loved ones about it. They do not tell their loved ones that they no longer have a partner because they still hope that it is only a temporary situation, that their expectations are fulfilled and that the part that decided to break up will return.

      Holding on to hope that this is a temporary breakup is part of the denial of grief phase associated with this process.. The shock of the breakup can be so great that we refuse to believe that we are in the new situation. It’s not at all pathological, at least at first, but rather a strategy that serves to give us some time to make up our minds.

        Stages of mourning following a breakup

        As in any other duel, breaking a dune involves going through certain phases. Each person can experience it in their own way, because even in this aspect people show individual differences. However, despite the personality differences, we can identify more or less universal phases in all duels due to rupture.

        The first phase is the initial impact, the shock of rupture. This especially applies to the person who has left, who is surprised by unexpected news and their sense of disbelief. After that comes rejection. As mentioned, it is common for one of the attitudes of the person left behind to view the breakup as something merely temporary, the product of an ad hoc discussion or misunderstanding.

        This is one of the reasons why the person does not report to those around him what happened, in the hope that it is a passenger. He thinks, “Why report something that will be fixed?” There is hope that they will reconcile, but it is only false hope and a refusal to accept reality.

        Corn at the end he begins to understand the fact that he is no longer with this person he loved so much. Thus begins the next phase, the one marked by the intense sadness of having to accept the fact that he no longer wants it. Symptoms of depression begin to appear: sadness, apathy, sleep disturbances, changes in diet, obsessive thoughts… Given the emotional intensity of this stage, it is very important not to repress emotions, but to to let out. This release is therapeutic, it will allow you to overcome the breakup in the best possible way.

        Eventually, what happened and the new situation are accepted. This does not mean that he is immediately happy. What happens at this point is that the person begins to lift their spirits, trying to get back to what they loved doing before they met their partner, and reconnecting with family, friends, and other loved ones.

        As we said, each person is different and this also manifests in the way they go through grief through a romantic break-up. The grieving process has no specific time, but depends on each person. However, if six months have passed since the breakup and depressive symptoms still manifest themselves, we can speak of a pathological duel and it is recommended to consult a professional.

          What to do to overcome the breakup?

          Now that we have a better understanding of what it means to go through a breakup process, let’s see what we can do to get over the breakup as soon as possible and in the best possible way. There are no magic recipes that make this process easy and quick, and that’s why it is crucial to have a lot of patience and to allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel.

          We cannot repress our emotions by letting them flow through us. We feel bad and have every right to release our emotions. If we don’t feel like doing anything, then we don’t do anything. If we feel angry, feel it and don’t blame ourselves. But it has to be for a season, not forever. Stretching it out forever will deprive us of living life, giving us the opportunity to better find ourselves.

          When we are tired of crying and feeling bad, even if it costs us a little and we hardly feel like it, we have to force ourselves to do things. It’s time to go out with friends again, join the gym, study a language, go hiking, buy nice clothes, indulge in a whim…everything what it takes to get moving, to get out of the gym. plunged us. And we should also seek professional help if we see the need for it.

          1. Accept reality

          So, as it should be, accept reality. It’s better not to cling to what it might be, or obsess over a “maybe we can go back”. Clinging to what we think we are but weren’t, holding on to hope that the relationship will resume, is only anchored in the past and won’t let us live in the present or the future.

          It will cost you, you won’t like it at all, but you have to accept that this breakup is part of your life. Accepting reality is painful, but it’s much better than hoping for something that won’t happen and stretching out the pain it causes.

            2. Stay busy

            Staying as long as possible is one of the best ways to get over the breakup.. When we pay attention to other things, the sadness disappears and little by little we find the excitement. Almost without realizing it, we lift our heads and stop obsessing over our ex.

            3. Contact zero

            A classic at all breaks is to apply the zero contact strategy. This consists of cutting with all possible contacts with our ex-partner. No contact with this person will help us, it is better to cut dry.

            To get to that point where our heart no longer hurts, it is essential that we completely distance ourselves from this person.. We have to remove her from our contacts, not send her messages, remove her from our social networks… to avoid looking for her, gossiping about her photos to see if he has rebuilt his or her life.

            4. Don’t stay friends

            Don’t hang out with your ex as a friend. It seems wonderful to reach this agreement, but the reality is that it is a very exceptional and rare thing that, in any case, happens after overcoming the duel. It is very difficult to be friends with someone you wanted to love on such an intimate level as a love story. Staying friends with an ex right after the breakup only serves to stretch the pain, contradicting the previous point of zero contact.

            5. Do not look for the culprits

            Better not to look for culprits because, even if it is difficult to admit, there are probably none. Of course, there will be responsibilities, but these will be shared between the two. You did things that, no matter how small, brought the relationship to a point where it was unnatural to continue. No one is ever responsible for a breakup.

              6. Reconnect with loved ones

              Dating doesn’t mean we lose touch with our friends and family. However, it is not uncommon for romance to take such a priority in our lives that we leave our loved ones behind for a while.

              Now that we’re going through a breakup, there is no longer any excuse to reconnect with these people. It’s time to let go and move on.

              Friends and family are crucial during this time as they will help us let off steam, expressing how we feel. Of course, we must understand that we must not prolong this outburst too much, because if we turn our old relationship into an obsession, we will not be able to free ourselves from the past. Also, the patience of our friends and family has a limit, and having to put up with someone who has been complaining about their past for too long and doing nothing to improve the present is not a pleasant thing to do.

              7. Redo what we love

              In the same way that when we go out with someone we leave our loved ones behind, the same thing happens with our hobbies. It often happens that in married life we ​​abandon the activities that we loved so much, either because she doesn’t have time, or because she simply doesn’t like her partner.

              Now that it’s no longer a part of our lives, it’s time to start doing what used to fill us with satisfaction. It’s time to let go and move on. It’s up to us to focus exclusively on our preferences, to have fun doing what we really love. It sounds obvious, but when you do things you love and enjoy, it improves your mood and, in this case, helps you get out of the sadness of a breakup.

                8. Take care of yourself

                Actions as basic as brushing your teeth, showering, combing your hair and getting dressed are difficult to do when you are in total sadness. Not having a partner isn’t the end of the world. It hurts at first, and it can cost us to get up, but we have to make an effort and not neglect our health, boost our self-esteem and pamper ourselves.. We must not forget to maintain a healthy lifestyle, eat healthy, exercise once in a while and take care of ourselves.

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