There are more and more cases of couples seeking to become parents and being diagnosed with infertility. Sometimes it is accompanied by one or more causes, problems with ovarian reserve, endometriosis, problems with morphology, quantity and quality of sperm, genetics … and at other times, this diagnosis is associated with the words “cause of”. ‘unknown origin’.
With or without specific causes, it generates stress or frustration in the couple when they come up against the plans they had made to form a family and the desire to have a baby.
Coping with and accepting the diagnosis of infertility is a difficult task if you do not have specialized psychological help.. Couples who decide to start with insemination treatments, IVF, ICSI, tests, constant consultations in gynecology, urology … must face moments of great cost, both financial and emotional and personal.
Psychological Keys to Infertility Management
These are the psychological keys to not letting infertility drain us mentally.
1. Don’t hide the reason for not having children
Explaining what is happening to our loved ones helps us make this process a little easier, as well as talking about the emotions we are feeling every moment, because there is no need to spend this moment alone.
It is important to explain what is going on to avoid bothersome questions from your immediate environment. It is not a question of telling everyone what is going on, but not to hide it, because there is no reason to hide this situation; in fact, it drives us away from acceptance and therefore makes the process longer and more painful.
2. Seek professional psychological help
It’s important to have the tools you need to handle this long and difficult process. Both facing a better management of emotions, and helping the grieving process in case of abortion or to aspire to the baby who never arrives.
This is why it is advisable to go into psychotherapy, the space where emotional health professionals can support.
3. Improves the management of emotions associated with infertility
In the long process of fertility treatment emotions of anger, insecurity, sadness, helplessness, guilt, frustration are generated, And often the question “Why me?”, “Why us?”
If during this process, both at the time of testing, the results of the same, hormone therapy in the case of women, the so-called “beta wait” … there is no specialized psychological help, mood, anxiety and stress management issues may occur, Which influence both adaptation and acceptance of the situation and the outcome of treatment.
Psychological intervention specializes in intervention in emotional management and minimization of the effects of stress, the process of accepting the diagnosis of infertility and intervention in bereavement.
Grieving process in infertility and the importance of psychological care
When a loved one is lost, we receive support from our family and friends, we can do a farewell ceremony, their body is guarded. But … what happens when you have the same feeling and can’t do this whole process? What happens when pregnancies occur now but do not? You can’t hug that baby they yearn for so much or with as many plans as they’ve made with their partner.
It is very important to lead a duel with the support of professional teams, thus going through all its phases (shock, anger, negotiation, despair, acceptance and search for alternatives).
Psychological counseling in this case helps to understand and deal with the emotional consequences. It is very important to overcome all these phases before generating alternatives so as not to be able to be a mother / father.
By doing a correct duel we will be able to decrease feelings of guilt, avoid extreme despair or the feeling that “my life will not be the same”, physical symptoms of anxiety, uncontrolled anger, difficulties in the functioning of life. daily face to social relations, work and referral for possible anxiety or depressive disorders associated with this problem.
How can we help someone who is infertile?
We often tell our family or friends who are going through this process messages such as “don’t give up”, “sure it will come”, “at least you expect them to show up”, “relax. you and it will come “. Such messages, probably with all our affection, can cause harm as we cannot guarantee that this baby will arrive.Therefore, we do not help these people come to terms with a situation in which they might end up not being parents.
At the same time, by saying especially to the woman in this case, “relax and it will come” indirectly we make her feel even more guilty because we take it for granted that the cause of not getting pregnant is your level of stress or anxiety.
A ‘diagnosis’ of the situation should never be made as’ sure that if you lose or gain weight you are going to get pregnant’, ‘you are unlikely to get pregnant because of the stress you are going through in your life’, ‘ have left you a lot ”. .. These messages never help a couple under these circumstances.
It is more advisable in these cases to accompany and show our support, phrases such as “whatever happens, I will be there”, “I can get an idea of how you are feeling”, “cry if you are. need “” you have the right to feel this way “are very helpful messages that bring the person to overcome this feeling of no longer feeling alone.