How to Overcome the Aftermath of Bullying: 8 Tips

Bullying is a situation that, unfortunately, many children have experienced – and are experiencing – in school.. This is harassment and abuse (physical and / or psychological) towards a person, who is considered to be the victim.

Fortunately, by reporting this situation and with the help you need, you can get out of it. Once we are out, however, there may be psychological after-effects that are very important to deal with. In this article, we’ll explain how to overcome the consequences of bullying through 8 ideas that can help us.

    Bullying: definition and analysis of the phenomenon

    Bullying is an experience that can be very traumatic for children and teens. It consists of receiving insults, threats, harassment or abuse, whether psychological or physical, by one or more people, who are the aggressors. Bullying is a real situation that is invading more and more classes in schools.

    This harassment generally lasts over time and occurs frequently and on a recurring basis towards the victim., Who suffers during the period in which he is being bullied and after that, by a series of psychological sequelae that may remain. These sequelae can be manifested by: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear, nightmares, psychosomatic symptoms …

    On the other hand, the victim is often a person who is psychologically “weaker”, or with an obvious physical “defect”, who uses the abuser to ridicule them. However, the key to fighting bullying is not just taking care of the victim, but also and most importantly the abuser.

    In addition, it is often the aggressor who feels the most insecure., And that’s why you have to hurt someone they think of as “inferior”. Through this he “empowers” and if he also has people who support him (or who allow the situation to continue), who are usually classmates, it makes him feel superior, more powerful. .

    How to overcome the aftermath of bullying

    It is for all comments that work should always be done with both parties (victim and aggressor). In this article, however, we’ll focus on the victim, which is why we’ll offer some clues on how to overcome the aftermath of bullying.

    1. Ask for psychological help

    An essential step in overcoming the after-effects of bullying is seek professional help in case you need it. After such an experience, which can have been very traumatic, it is likely that there will be consequences to deal with, insecurities, fears, etc.

    Sometimes it is difficult to deal with it or fix it on your own without help because we don’t always have the tools to do it. The help we ask for must be adapted to our particular case, and can be psychological, psychiatric, medical help …

    2. Accept the experience

    Another step on how to overcome the consequences of bullying is to come to terms with the situation you are experiencing. It does not mean resigning or forgetting as if it were not something important, on the contrary; it’s about accepting what happened to us, what made us feel, and that luckily the situation is over and must not be repeated.

    It is not an easy or short process, but it is a path that may require a long period of time.. It will often be essential to go to a psychologist to accompany us throughout the process. Accepting the experience will allow us to manage and manage the emotions and after-effects caused, to evolve, to continue to move forward and to acquire important vital learning.

    3. Be clear that it is not your fault

    It is common to feel guilty after being bullied; but to be habitual does not mean to be sane, realistic or “logical”. In other words, that is to say the blame for being bullied is never ours, Even if our boss wants us to believe otherwise.

    That is why we need to be aware that the abuser is always to blame and that these negative thoughts can cause us great harm. So we have to keep this in mind and not feel guilty for thinking this way.

    4. Stay away from negative thoughts

    Another tool on how to overcome the aftereffects of bullying concerns the negative thoughts we may have after this experience. In relation to the previous point, we find frequently that victims of bullying at school have negative thoughts, Insecurity, self-destruction, etc., after this experience.

    As in the previous case, one must move away from these thoughts, either alone or with psychological help.

    These negative thoughts can be translated as “you deserve it”, “you are worth nothing”, “no one will want you”… When they come to our mind, we can apply techniques like stopping to think; that is, say “STOP!” out loud, or “ENOUGH!” when that thought arises, take a deep breath and do a nice or nice activity (or imagine a nice scene).

      5. Stay away from resentment

      Resentment is that feeling or emotion we feel towards someone when it has caused us harm; it is a feeling of “revenge”, of anger, negative, which in a way binds us to this person and perpetuates our suffering, because it does not allow us to move on and accept the situation.

      Reducing this resentment until it goes away will set us free and allow us to move forward, Accept what has happened to us but look to the future. Many times it will be necessary to bring in a professional to help us deal with this anger.

      So it’s not so much about “forgiving” the abuser as it is about accepting what has happened to us and moving on.

      6. Express how you feel

      How do you get over the aftermath of bullying without expressing how you have been feeling all this time? It’s impossible. This is why it is crucial to do this, because expressing our emotions, whether positive or negative, will help us understand what we have been through and how it has affected us. In turn, we can analyze our feelings and our emotions, and move forward, in order to feel better and better.

      7. Empowered

      It is important to be clear that we are still valid, real people who deserve all the positive things life has to offer us, even though we have had such an experience. We must trust our worth and our power to transform our reality, In addition to achieving everything we set out to do through effort and self-confidence.

      8. Transform pain

      Pain is an emotional experience and an emotion that causes us a lot of suffering; however, it has its “positive” side, and in addition to being an adaptive emotion (necessary to evolve), it is an emotion with the power to make us change things and to make us fight. It’s actually a natural emotion.

      This is why we can transform this pain into other “formats”, such as art and creativity (drawings, poems, stories …). It’s about projecting ourselves into other things that make us feel good and allow us to float our full potential.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Irurtia, MJ, Avilés, JM, Arias, V. and Arias, B. (2009). The treatment of victims in the resolution of cases of bullying. Amazon, 2 (1): p. 76-99.
      • Rodríguez, AC and Mejía, YK (2012). Bullying: a phenomenon to be transformed. Duazary: International Journal of Health Sciences, 9 (1): p. 98-104.

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