Normally, we assume that hope is a good feeling, which brings us well-being, leading us to think about a better future. However, this is not the case in all cases. For example, there are quienes who can’t get over a breakup with their ex precisely because keep hope that this person will come back.
The truth is that getting over this type of breakup is not an easy task for everyone, as some people may refuse to move on and become obsessed with the hope of getting back together with their ex-partner, which This irreparably leads them to become frustrated and unable to improve their current situation.since, naturally, they have no control over that person’s feelings.
How to get over a breakup and give up hope that your ex will come back
In today’s article, we’ll see a series of practical guidelines, tips, and strategies that can be used in the event that a person becomes obsessed with getting back together with their ex-partner, after a painful breakup.
1. Your happiness does not depend on anyone else
Most people who are obsessed with getting back together with their ex-partner do it because they have a low self-image or low self-confidencemistakenly believing that they can never be happy except with their ex-partner and that it is precisely the other person who makes them happy and gives them everything they need in life.
The first thing we need to be clear about in order to get over a breakup is that our happiness doesn’t depend on anyone but ourselves and that we’ll be happy with anyone, even when we’re alone.
This learning is of great importance for people with low self-esteem or who present cases of emotional dependence and it is a concept that must be worked on daily until we convince ourselves that happiness is in oneself and not in the partner.
2. Accept your thoughts
Accepting our obsession with the ex-partner is the first step to overcoming it, so psychology professionals recommend positively accepting our obsessive ideas and our need to return to that person, as a process of overcoming them; accept these ideas as something transitory.
Trying to avoid one’s own obsessive thoughts will only serve to make them stronger and ingrained in the mind, which is why we must accept them without haste or anxiety so that they go away.
Once we have accepted our thoughts, we can, with the passage of time and the implementation of a series of cognitive exercises, overcome the addiction to our ex.
3. Don’t force the other person
Avoiding forcing our ex-partner to feel the same as us is another of the basic rules of coexistence and civility that we must follow to overcome the breakup in the best possible way.
In the same way, it is important not to try to change that person with whom we ended the relationshipsince if we are with someone, it is because we really like who he is.
4. You must wish you were well without this person.
To overcome a breakup, you must by all means want to be without this person and feel good in their absence.
To reach this commitment to overcome our partner, it is important to have gone through enough negative experiences in the past to make us feel that this cycle is over and that the rupture is inevitable.
5. Focus on yourself
Once the relationship is over, you need to focus on yourself. take care of yourself at all times and focus on meeting your needs, desires, dreams and life goals.
This means maintaining your physical and mental health, continuing to build healthy habits (eating well, exercising, etc.) and putting your priorities first.
Breakups are often used to resume old hobbies and hobbies or to start new ones with the aim of getting to know each other better and gradually forgetting the former partner.
6. Free yourself from guilt
Some people may continue to feel guilty after the breakup; a guilt that paralyzes them and causes them to enter a vicious circle of self-loathing and self-imposed punishment, which generates pain added to the discomfort and suffering of the breakup. It’s not productive, because it’s a way of refusing to learn from your mistakes, not thinking about the possibility of improving as romantic partners.
Believing that the breakup was our fault and that we could have avoided it is common among people with low self-esteem or emotional issues and this will only make it harder to get over the breakup.
On the contrary, instead of blaming ourselves for the breakup, we need to consciously work to improve our self-esteem and understand what lessons we can learn from what happened, being clear that sometimes a breakup is no one’s fault. and that she can provide us with experience for the future
7. De-idealize this person
When you idealize your partner, you run the risk of becoming dependent on her. and not to conceive this person as he really is.
To overcome the breakup, the most important thing is to stop idealizing our ex-partner, to analyze all those things that surely hurt and all those aspects that made him a normal and ordinary human person.
8. Maintain an active social life
Human beings are social beings, which means we need interaction with other people, especially during painful times such as relationship breakups.
Being close to our loved ones, such as friends or relatives, will help us overcome the breakup much more easily and we will be able to get good advice from those who love us the most.
9. Assume your responsibilities
Just as freeing yourself from guilt is essential after a breakup, it is also essential analyze the possible responsibilities that we may have had.
Instead of holding the other person responsible for the breakup and seeing ourselves as victims incapable of making decisions, it is important that we are aware of our responsibility if it exists, to be aware that we can act as adults, assuming that I am in control of our actions and aware that we alone create our destiny.
Whenever we’re struggling to get over a breakup and want to get back together with that person, it’s important to gradually put the past behind us and look to the future.
For this, we must find everything that motivates us for the future and that gives us a reason to move forward in the process of breaking up and forgetting our partner for good.