I feel old: 3 tips for knowing what to do with this discomfort

It’s no secret that today’s society puts a lot of pressure on us to create an attractive and desirable image. It has been written for decades about how in seemingly free countries there is a tendency to fit all citizens into a mold of what is considered aesthetic, pleasing to the eye. And that this pressure is particularly heavy on women is not something that surprises anyone either.

This phenomenon is linked to the thought “I feel old”, very common among adult women of a wide variety of ages. However, contrary to what one might think, personal appearance is not the only thing that explains this phenomenon. Yes, it is true that there is an obsession with wrinkles, skin losing its firmness and gray hair, but the problem, although partly psychological and imaginary, goes further. Understanding this is essential in order to no longer feel this anguish and sadness from which a large part of the female population suffers.

In this article we will focus on what happens when a woman feels old even though she is not very old, because in older people who feel old age as a bad thing, the problem is of a different nature. .

    The initial question: why do I feel old?

    When it comes to relieving this kind of discomfort, it all comes down to understanding what the material reasons are that cause us to feel old even long before we have already entered the vital phase of old age. feel bad about it. The latter should be noted, because old age itself does not have to be something that produces sadness; although in practice it goes hand in hand with some physical limitations, how we experience it when we reach this stage depends on how we assess those limitations, not on old age itself.

    In women who feel much older even though they don’t belong to old age, what happens is that the concept of old age acts as a “bridge” between how we imagine real old age, d ‘on the one hand, and the current situation on the other. And why does this happen? essentially so society dictates that she must be female, Not because he entered what is biologically the elderly.

    For centuries, women have been sexualized to the extreme, to the point of making reproduction their main task, alongside home care, where the fruits must be protected and educated from this reproduction. And since the reproductive clock is ticking a little faster than the life expectancy clock, at the very beginning of youth, all the social pressures to have children are concentratedDespite having passed this vital stage, the lower chances of having babies are associated with old age in general and uselessness in particular.

    While we’ve come a long way in terms of sexism, the idea that a woman’s main goal is to attract a good husband and have children still weighs heavily on how we subconsciously enjoy women. women. In a context where the reproductive role of women is constantly reminded, the slightest signs of aging, which generally appear around the age of 25, can provoke the appearance of obsessive thoughts. Sometimes you don’t even need to have seen objective signs of aging.: It is very common for 19 or 20 year old girls to feel old in anticipation of when they will stop looking so young and consider it close.

      What can be done to get rid of this discomfort?

      As we have seen, the thought “I feel old” is based on a paradox. On the one hand, it is based on an imaginary concern, which is usually not based on a specific characteristic of the body itself that is objectively harmful or makes it less functional. On the other hand, it is not just a problem belonging to the mind of the woman as an individual, but exists because being a woman of a certain age has some unwanted social consequences because of sexism.

      Any initiative a woman wants to take to stop feeling bad about her age necessarily involves taking steps to prevent the rest of society from valuing her less so as not to be a post-teenager. So, some useful suggestions to follow are as follows.

      1. Don’t let your culture be confined to the general public

      The dominant culture is one that reproduces the most ingrained and widespread cultural vices, and if a woman is exposed exclusively to herself, you are much more likely to feel all the social pressure related to gender roles.

      Therefore, frequenting social environments in which the idealization of extreme youth has less power and is challenged is very beneficial, as it provides a critical eye that allows you to no longer see what looks like a problem exclusively. , and move around to see it as the consequence. of a social and historical phenomenon, which may disappear in the future.

        2. Look for women’s solidarity networks

        This measure is similar to the previous one and concerns stop based solely on male approvalThe perception of women has traditionally elated the extreme youth. Just being surrounded by more women with this critical view of what society expects of them is very beneficial.

        3. Demystify reproduction

        As we have seen, the reproductive role assigned by society is at the heart of the problem. Part of the reason why men are said to age better and slower than women is because the reproductive pressure is not on them: whether they are parents or much less than whether a woman is or was a mother or not.

        Therefore, stop turning life around starting a familyAs if you couldn’t be happy on the sidelines (whether that family exists or not), it’s part of the solution to stop feeling old in a bad way.

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