Low self-esteem? When you become your worst enemy

Self-esteem is one of the most important psychological variables for emotional health, well-being and is the key to our positive relationship with the environment. But, unfortunately, not everyone has adequate self-esteem.

Many people, whether or not undergoing psychotherapy, suffer from the effects of low self-esteem. Fortunately, this is something that can be changed.

Studies show that this important aspect of personality is not a static thing, but can vary over the course of a person’s life, and according to psychologist Silvia Congost, author of the book Automatic Self-Esteem, its development depends on ‘about 30% genetic factors and the rest, or 70%, depends on the environment and the experiences we have had to live.

  • There are several types of self-esteem. If you want to know them, you can read our article: “The 4 types of self-esteem: do you value yourself?”

The relationship between low self-esteem and emotional balance

Low self-esteem is a real problem that many people face, Because it can negatively affect different areas of your life. In short, low self-esteem causes suffering and prevents us from achieving many of our goals or desires. Negative thought patterns associated with low self-esteem (for example, thinking that everything you do is going to go wrong for you) can lead to serious mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety.

Low self-esteem is crippling and it is difficult to try new things or perform different daily tasks, In addition to starting a new hobby or looking for a job. It keeps you from living the life you want and leads to frustration and discomfort over time.

Anyone who finds himself in this situation and wants to get out of this negative spiral, only if he does a hard job of self-reflection and recognizes his level of self-esteem that he will be able to improve it and therefore increase it. his well-being. In some cases, the person cannot get it on their own, so it will be necessary to consult a specialized psychologist. however, it is the person who wants to change who must strive to achieve itAs the psychologist only provides the tools for change.

What causes low self-esteem?

The thoughts you have about yourself seem like absolute realities, but they’re still just opinions. They are based on the experiences you have had in life and the messages those experiences have brought to you to form a picture of who you are. If you have had bad experiences, it is likely that the rating on yourself is negative. The crucial experiences that help shape these negative or positive beliefs about ourselves are very (but not always) likely to occur at an early age.

What you saw, felt and experienced during childhood and adolescence, in your family, at school or in the community at large has a decisive effect on your self-esteem in the future.

Examples of these experiences are shown below:

  • Systematic punishment or abuse
  • Fail to meet parents’ expectations

  • Failing to meet the expectations of the group of friends and colleagues
  • Be the “scapegoat” for others in times of stress or distress
  • Belonging to families or social groups characterized by lack of affection and disinterest

  • Be treated like the black sheep of family or school

Psychological problems associated with low self-esteem

In addition to the above causes, sometimes negative self-reports are caused by negative experiences that have happened later in life. For example. painful break-ups or abusive relationships, persistent stress, bullying or mobbing, etc. Therefore, the relationship between psychological issues and self-esteem is a reality.

There are many psychological or emotional issues associated with low self-esteem, which is why it is one of the most common reasons for counseling. And since self-esteem can cause other types of problems (depression, eating disorders, addictions, anxiety, etc.), action must be taken in this regard.

Stop Being Your Worst Enemy: Strategies To Improve Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is closely related to how you appreciate and react to things that happen. If you want to stop being one of those people with low self-esteem, you can follow these tips to stop being your worst enemy and improve your self-esteem:

1. Set realistic goals

Feeling frustrated with trying to achieve too difficult goals leads to low self-esteem. The reason is simpler than it sounds: if we often find that despite our best efforts, we do not achieve what we wanted to achieve, it makes us feel smaller than the environment you live in, this makes us feel smaller than the environment you live in. which seems hostile to us. We will tend to focus our attention on this supposed failure, not on the nuances of why we set this goal in the first place or why we are not valuing our possibilities well.

This does not mean that we are not ambitious, it means that we have to be careful when weighing our possibilities and consider whether we lack the preparation or the material means to aspire to achieve something.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparing ourselves to others leads us to fall into a vicious circle; once we get into this competitive mindset, it’s hard to stop. The obsession with wanting to outdo others can prevent us from enjoying our successes without feeling uncomfortable staying “below” someone who surpasses us in a certain skill.

3. Appreciate your qualities

Another of the most useful tips to stop having low self-esteem and loving yourself is to stop and think about our merits and achievements when we find one that makes sense for you. we.

Other tips for improving self-concept

Other recommendations for fighting low self-esteem are:

  • Treat yourself with affection and look at life positively
  • Practice mindfulness
  • Constructively Criticize Yourself
  • give yourself time
  • Practice physical exercise
  • Try to assert yourself
  • You can read more about these strategies and learn more techniques to improve self-esteem in our article: “10 Keys to Increase Your Self-Esteem in 30 Days”

Asking for help in learning to love yourself

If you find that you have a serious self-esteem problem and the above has not worked, you should resolve it ASAP so that you do not have to suffer again. So instead of hiding and looking away, you can:

  • Talk to your family or close friends
  • Talk to your GP to find out what to do
  • Go to therapy with a specialized psychologist

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