My “I” as a consequence and cause of my suffering

Our “I”, what we call “personality”, is always the result of our biological, genetic and life experiences., From pregnancy itself in the womb to adulthood.

Indeed, already from the same fetus, the neuro-biological conformation of our brain will be modeled through the interaction of our biological characteristics, with its corresponding genetic load, with the environment in which we have landed in the world and the relationships in which we will establish. her, especially with the most important figures, those of our caregivers.

This enormous adaptation effort will always aim to reduce pain and anxiety as much as possible.. Our brain, at the neuro-biological level, and therefore our “I” at the psychological level, will always be the result of a survival effort, whatever the environment in which we grow up, more hostile or more welcoming.

Obviously, depending on the hostility of the medium, we will develop one type of condition or anotherSo the end result of the equation will be a personality, masterfully designed to survive in the “world” that luckily touched us.

This process is neurological and biological, and in it our genetic basis also plays a determining role. A visual brain, with a cross on the left, is not the same as a structured, formal brain with a tendency for recurring thoughts.

The formation of the “I” is linked to its history

Anyway, we do not choose our caregivers, nor the genetic tools with which to cope with the original experiences of our lives. Obviously, the type of relationship our caregivers establish with us is crucial in this process. But that is not the subject of this article so we will not go into details on the conformation of condition types.

The important thing in this sense is that in this still unfinished process of neurobiological and psychological development, our “I” emerges, our “interpreter” of reality which will accompany us until the end of our days. We will already have a sure grip, ambivalent or avoidant, even disorganized. We will have already developed various survival tools such as affection seeking, control, emotional disconnection, generalized alerting, etc.

There is no point in qualifying this result as good or bad.. It is the result of an effort of adaptation and as such, the “way” in which our brain, biologically speaking, has solved the problem of survival in its development. From this point of view, this result is always adaptive. Another thing is that over time in adult reality this “I”, or its absence, is dysfunctional. This is what we call pathology.

In other words, what was used at the time in childhood, especially for survival, is sometimes dysfunctional for the serene and mature confrontation of adult reality. For example, a personality secondary to childhood abuse may very well later, as an adult, not “understand” that the medium is no longer hostile, that you already know, and will constantly misinterpret. harmless signals such as threats and friendly environments such as hostile.

The “I” resulting from abuse in this case is not prepared for affection and emotional relationships. And what he needs most and craves the most will often be the one that causes him the most fear, entering an unsolvable emotional equation with the devastating and extremely painful consequences that will ensue.

This is why at Vitalitza we adapt different techniques to approach the trauma in its most complete context. And among them, this course / webinar: “My Self, Consequence and Cause of My Suffering. Adult Addiction Repair” scheduled for September (Tuesday 15th and Thursday 17th) where we will learn to recognize both the biological and the experiential part of our “I”, so that we can name what happens to us and therefore understand how often I myself am the cause of my suffering (vitaliza. net / es / agenda).

This learning, which gives meaning to my experience, will open an unprecedented path for me in the approach of any therapeutic intervention, because it will start from a complete acceptance and a deep knowledge of myself, which for him will allow me to become a conscious maturation of my person. at all levels, succeeding in breaking loops, molds and limits that have hitherto been inaccessible to me.

Author: Javier Elcarte, neuropsychologist, founder and director of Vitalitza.

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