Relationships involve significant commitment. Therefore, in the event that our romantic partner is affected by any circumstance, it is natural to provide the necessary support to overcome the situation you are going through.
This is something that many people are clear on when it comes to certain thoughts that come to their mind: “My partner is suffering from depression, what can I do to help him or her?”.
In this article we will look at some useful tools for providing support when a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is suffering from depression, we will briefly review what this mental disorder is, and we will distinguish between depression and depression. depressive status.
What are the symptoms of depression?
Depression can be defined as a mental disorder which consists of intense and widespread states of sadness and demotivation (abulia). If a person is suffering from depression, it is more likely that their partner (in case they do) will notice in their everyday behavior that something strange is happening.
It is important to determine if it is a depressive state, which would be transient; or if, on the contrary, we are in the presence of a depressive trait, which indicates that the behavior associated with depression is more widespread over time. Anyway, this type of assessment can only be performed by a mental health professional.
My partner is suffering from depression: what should I do?
When it happens that our partner suffers from depression, the situation is complex, but it must be clear that the problem can be overcome; no one is predestined to suffer emotionally indefinitely. Of course, this should be done as early as possible and with professional help. And this is it although here we see several tips, it all boils down to going to psychotherapy. Depression is a serious psychopathology that must be treated by mental health experts, there are no “shortcuts” to skipping this step.
In addition, it is necessary to determine whether these are specific depressive states or whether the behavior is persistent, even if it is ultimately the therapists who make the diagnosis.
Below we see how we should proceed from the role of Alfuien the couple has or might have depression.
1. Do not underestimate the problem, understand that it is a disease
We must avoid underestimating the emotional moment that our partner is going through. The thoughts and feelings that afflict her are not a whim and should not be viewed as personal attacks on others, no matter how much their consequences harm others. These symptoms can be due to both organic and social causes.
2. Remember that even if this may not sound like you, your partner needs you.
The symptoms of depression may seem indifferent to our partner, but this is not true. It should be understood that their behavior responds to symptomsWe don’t need to pull away from her, especially when she feels vulnerable.
3. Offer active listening
In most cases, just being there for that person is very supportive. Our partner needs to express his emotions freelyWe have to make her feel comfortable telling us what’s wrong with her.
4. Do not put pressure
Care should be taken with the words we use when our partner presents a depressive image, there are phrases that can be counterproductive. It is best to offer clear activities, avoiding phrases such as “be calm” or “this should happen to you” which it may sound like a request and a call to do nothing to feel better.
5. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
It’s about giving as much empathy as possible, keeping in mind that things that are easy for you for your partner can get complicated. For example, shopping or preparing a meal at home is often a challenge for people with depression, due to a lack of motivation and energy.
6. Don’t blame yourself for what you’re suffering
As we mentioned earlier, it is not your partner’s fault that you are depressed, nor your fault. Do not think that their behavior is due to personal reasons concerning you or who you are responsible for. Depression is beyond the control of those who experience it directly and those around them.
7. Avoid creating false expectations
We must keep in mind that the solution will not come overnight. It is a personal and gradual process, in which our partner must become aware of the situation and deal with it at their own pace. We should not rush to find quick or easy solutions, as this will only create more frustration.
8. Stay close
Let your partner see that you care about her, show her that despite her situation, she can count on you and that you are there to support her, without becoming invasive or demanding. Just back it up with your understanding and company.
9. Relieves emotional stress
Try to use it as a way to release the pressure and stress generated by depression and family, school or work situations which can lead to more intense depressive episodes. Try to lighten this burden on your partner.
10. Avoid blame
Don’t blame him for not wanting to get out of bed or his lack of appetite. Remember that you are suffering from symptoms related to the functioning of your nervous system. It encourages change in assertiveness and not assertiveness, which is counterproductive in these cases.
11. Motivate her to ask for help
Without it being a requirement or an imposition, we can make our loved one interested in seeking professional help. Explaining the benefits and telling her that therapy can help her improve are good ways to do this.
12. Congratulations on your progress
When your partner makes an effort to overcome depression and achieve their goals, no matter how small they may seem to someone who isn’t going through it, you need to praise them and show them that we also recognize this important step.
13. Support her in therapy
Attending therapy with our partner has an important meaning in terms of the support component that we offer. We we can be part of our partner support team (As a new patient taking her first steps in therapy), which includes relatives, a therapist and, if necessary, also a psychiatrist.
Of course, psychological therapy must be an essential factor in the healing process of people with depression. It is not an auxiliary aid, it is one of the fundamental pillars of improving mood, and an accompaniment that significantly contributes to the cessation of symptoms, even the most serious (such as suicidal).
Therefore, someone who wants to help their depressed partner, must act on two fronts: accompany that loved one at this time in their life, and help to engage in therapy and follow the instructions of the mental health professionals who are monitoring the treatment.
Finally, it is important to emphasize that the situation that our partner is going through with depression it doesn’t have to be permanent. As the seizure has arisen, it may go away, although there usually remains some sequelae (at least in terms of emotional memory).
Often times when the person does not know what to do in a situation, it is the time of depression. It is not enough to help solve this situation, it is necessary to provide the tools so that he has the capacity to resolve on her own the situations that provoke her negative feelings. This is what we work on during therapy. But at the same time, it is not necessary to leave this person alone, because in this state he will not be able to overcome himself and see a hopeful outcome.
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