Infertility, in all its variables, is a growing problemMainly due to the increase in the age at which we plan to be parents, although this could be due to several factors and in many cases there is not even an explanation as to why for which the long-awaited child does not arrive.
Whatever the reason, what is clear is that it causes psychological stress. It’s a situation that is out of people’s control and that we don’t talk about a lot, so they often see it overwhelming and with few tools to deal with it.
The process towards assisted reproduction
The process usually begins when the couple decides to have a child and begins to find out that it is costing them more time than expected, it generates a varying level of anxiety, which depends on the person, how much time it costs them, s ‘it is detected. or not the causes of this delay, whether he knows whether or not he can have children, whether there have been previous abortions, etc. In other words, it depends on several factors, both personal and contextual.
On another side, the couple generally sees in the tessitura whether or not to start an assisted reproduction process. The decision-making itself is usually already complex and if it is decided that if, or even if it is done in this way by medical prescription, it is also necessary to be prepared psychologically and psychological support is recommended as this is not a simple process. on an emotional level. It is necessary to work, among other aspects, the expectations of the treatment (trying to achieve a balance between realism and positivity), tolerance to frustration, uncertainty, fear, anxiety, management of waiting etc.
Manage stress and anxiety
Of course, if the result is not what you want, more intensive support is needed and working with the person either on the path of perseverance and the management of the stress and the pain that this produces, or by accompanying the couple who decide to abandon the treatment feeling guilty, failure, sadness etc. that this decision can engender, however, which is a logical and very personal decision.
Decisions, as always in therapy, are made by patients, although it is true that the psychologist must ensure that these decisions are not made under the influence of emotional states that prevent rationality, for example, if the partner / person decides not to continue treatment. when they come to learn that the result was negative, they may do so guided by the frustration of the moment, which is not ideal.
It is vitally important that the person / couple does not lose their functionality, i.e. they have to work to keep doing the same or very similar activities while being able to enjoy them and not generate an obsession that can even come back – pathological and hurt the couple. It is very common that these processes can adversely affect the dynamics of the couple, that they only talk about this topic, that the irascibility has increased, that they do not want to do anything else, that the sexual relations turn out around the design, etc. For that, with the help of a psychologist, work is done to prevent this from happening or to try to remedy or alleviate it. if this is already happening.
How can psychotherapy help us?
One of the things that bothers a person the most is waiting, along with feeling out of control. When a child does not arrive, whether the couple is handed over to assisted procreation or not, we must assume that we do not have the solution in our hands, that there are many elements that are involved. are beyond our control, moreover, as we have done. mentioned, sometimes we don’t even know why it doesn’t happen, so this feeling creates a lot of insecurity plus the anxiety of waiting.
Another aspect that usually causes a lot of pain is when the person / couple finds out that they cannot and want to be biological parents. Obviously, this generates suffering, anxiety and even depression. At this point, therapy should focus on managing pain, expressing feelings, providing tools to channel anger., Guilt, sadness etc, extension of goals, evaluation of options … depending on the situation and the request of the person / partner and the point where they are.
In short, we talked about generalizations of very personal processes and different from each other, but often sharing that they are experienced as stressful, have a lot of emotional load and it is very important that a psychologist accompanies the couple or the person . involved help to deal with everything that is going on, in addition, although social support is very important, people around us usually do not know how to help us, so at Mariva Psychologists we recommend, without a doubt, that you put you in the hand of a psychologist who can help you.