We live in difficult and turbulent times, we have had a long season in which our lives have been surprised by more or less intense changes which have posed an unprecedented challenge in the adaptability of many people.
We are not going to compare suffering or situations of discomfort, because there are people who have lost a loved one, or perhaps more than one; others have lost their jobs, social status, friendships, or any other issue that may be relevant to their lives. But one of the losses that increased in this particular context was that of the relationship.
The process of developing discomfort in the face of a breakup
The first aspect to consider in a romantic break is precisely this idea of loss. As a result, a grieving process is triggered, with its typical phases that must be worked out and overcome. The phases of the duel, according to Elisabeth Kübler-RossThey are denial, anger or rage, negotiation, depression, and acceptance. These stages are not developed in a sequential and orderly fashion, but can be understood as a model for managing the pain and loss that each person goes through. Other authors add other phases to the process such as confusion, guilt, and recovery as a time to resolve and overcome the breakup.
When a couple breaks up their relationship, many possible scenarios can arise, from which this moment is discovered as an acute crisis to which they respond forcefully and drastically, to which it presents itself as the result of slow wear and tear. extended where longer credible recovery options.
In between, we can find one of the couple’s disloyalty to each other, the interference of bad habits that fill someone’s patience, or a myriad of situations that determine personal relationships.
In both cases, the first feeling many people have is that the breakup is dismantling their world, Their safe and familiar world, and they may come to believe that they will not be able to move forward or cope with certain tasks or challenges, from daily routine to daily organization, to family burdens, to to name just a few of the examples. The idea of ”I will not be able to move forward”, “I will not be able to carry everything”, “it cannot be that it happens to me”, is accompanied by confusion, doubt, bewilderment and perhaps despair. . When you break up, you rarely think it’s a process that leads to something better, greater inner calm, or new opportunities to approach life.
We are not going to go deeper into the difficulties that the whole process of negotiating the rupture contains, not because they are not important, which they obviously are, but because they would involve extending to something. which could be dealt with in another article. The important thing is to face this moment, work selflessly and consider personal well-being to be a priority get caught up in the thought of loss.
In many breakups, the idea of guilt arises, both for the behaviors that have taken place throughout the cohabitation or relationship, and for the very decision to leave it, and even for the very first decision to choose this person as a couple. Despite the importance of these thoughts, these are unnecessary thoughts and only serve to fuel the phase of depression or anger.
Psychological keys to overcoming the breakup
We are talking about actions we can take to minimize the negative consequences of the break-up and save time for acceptance and recovery.
The first is to strengthen correct and healthy habits and routines.; it is a basic but absolutely fundamental principle to take care of food and rest, and to be physically active. Even if it is difficult to sleep or eat, it is necessary to insist and, if necessary, seek professional help.
The next one could be put priorities in order without neglecting what you need and what is really important to you. You might not be used to doing this, but it’s time to put some time into it and lift things up that have been relegated to another era. Redefine yourself as a person, identify your principles and values, and decide how to honor them so that they are present in your life.
Seek out social and friendships, look for more, try doing a new activity, or pick up something you were interested in before. Avoid isolating yourself and harboring feelings of loneliness and abandonment. It can be difficult, but he insists, because insistence is the basis of many successes in life.
Learn to trust yourself more, to realize that you are the most reliable person for yourselfYou will always be there, for better or for worse. And, if you wish, if the time is right, it reopens the possibility for you to meet another person with whom you can feel special moments again. It may seem difficult to you, but it is not impossible, you just need to work on it and you can do it with professional support. Before.
Are you looking for psychological help?
If you think you need help recovering from a breakup, it is essential that you turn to mental health professionals as soon as possible.
In psychotherapy sessions, it is possible to learn to overcome patterns of behavior, thinking and dealing with emotions that lead us to stagnate emotionally or directly to fuel the problem. To act as quickly as possible, start a psychotherapy process, in person or online.