If all human beings have one thing in common, it’s our quest for well-being. We want to experience well-being, to feel connected, to know ourselves and to grow. However, we repeatedly encounter the same difficulty: stress, an unpleasant experience that leads us to discomfort.
We live in a time of stress. We have never experienced such stress before, and the number of people who feel stressed or even more conditioned in consultation is increasing more and more. We feel stressed at work, because of the difficulties of living together, because of conflicts in relationships, or because of our fast and chaotic lifestyle. Also, more and more, because of health problems.
However … Do we live with more stress because our lifestyle is stressful or because we don’t know how to manage this stress?
Our way of life is certainly against nature: haste, difficulties, lack of free time, globalized and consumerist world, more and more problems with sleep, food, etc. What can we do about it?
Relieve stress today
Stress is a psychological experience. It’s an unpleasant feeling it flows according to how we interpret, manage and relate to what is happening outside.
It is also an emotional experience. In this article, we’ll dive deeper into what stress is, what causes you to feel it too often, how intense and how long it lasts, and most importantly, how you can deal with what’s going on with your own personal change to reduce stress. and that you can finally achieve your goal: to live well (both with you, with your relationships, personal or affective, and at work).
My name is Rubén Camacho, psychologist and human empowerment coach, and for 11 years I have been accompanying people in processes of personal change. Stress has increased especially since 2020, although this trend has already been felt. We will dive into your stress and how to solve it from the direct experience we have in consultation. Let’s go for that.
We tend to think we were happier growing up because we didn’t feel stressed. In fact, stress is felt throughout our lives. Babies suffer from stress, hunger, lack of attention or poor hygiene. Children also feel stressed when waking up, the first days of school or the heat. stress is an unpleasant feeling that helps us anticipate an external event that can be dangerous. Being hungry is also stressful and helps us eat. So what makes negative stress work?
Stress is negative when it is too intense, frequent and long-lasting, and especially when it does not help us to anticipate a dangerous situation or one that involves a lack or difficulty, but it makes us aware of situations with too much intensity and we react with fear, insecurity or anger.
Stress is the result of three factors.
1. External factors
Stressful external stimuli are weather conditions, noise, if the behavior of others is particularly invasive or aggressive**, disorganized routines or those that do not allow you to focus on your well-being, etc. These factors are still there and there is nothing we can do to change them.
2. Internal factors
How you feel, how you interpret situations, how you communicate and relate to others and what is going on; This is, the state you are in. Human beings are subjective beings, living according to a system of beliefs, interpretations, points of view and management of their emotions. Also, how you deal with stress is part of this factor.
3. Relationship factor
The way in which these two previous factors meet, how they relate.
Work on internal factors
The only factor you can work with is your internal factors, as well as making decisions that cause you to relate to the outside in ways that mitigate its consequences.
There is a serious modern error that makes it difficult to manage stress. This is a very common phenomenon on social media, like blaming any other kind of external stimulus as the cause of all the problems when it comes to “toxic people” and other concepts far removed from scientific evidence and that only they help us to focus on the external and blame it instead of looking for our own solutions).
The solution is the opposite: do not blame or look for causes, but focus on solutions. What would you need to change in yourself to reduce stress? How can you interpret and manage what you are feeling so that it is not so intense? How do you deal with feelings such as anxiety, distress, insecurity or worry?
Let’s take a step-by-step look at how to work through a change process to reduce stress. Breaking out of this chaotic world and starting to build another will be the next step!
We can’t change the world, but we can change the world. Stress is positive if it helps you to understand, not if it limits you or intensifies the gravity of situations. What we do in a change process to reduce stress, step by step, is as follows.
First of all, We analyze what are the stressors for you, but above all how you manage them. How do you interpret what you feel? How do you handle this? (through your behavior) How do you experience your relationship? (if they come from patterns of insecurity, with fear, demands, expectations, etc.). Are you generating emotional autonomy, or is your well-being too dependent on others and what happens?
In a similar situation, two people can handle it completely differently. A change in you and in what happens to you is not possible by changing the world, but by changing the way you understand and deal with it.
In this first step, we must also take into account what other experiences you have that may be limiting you: frequent anxiety, difficulties with certain emotions such as fear, guilt, insecurity or anger (which are exhausting and stressful when not managed functionally), problems with sleep, food, etc.
Secondly, we begin to discover how you communicate with these experienceshow you relate to each other, how you anticipate events and how you plan for them, with the aim of introducing small changes that help you manage it in a more functional way and reduce stress.
In a third step, we designed together a concrete and specific action plan for you, to help you find the necessary changes (in you) that reduce stress. Very common changes are: learning to set limits, managing some limiting emotions, making assertive decisions, planning and organizing to reduce stress, and most importantly, establishing routines that help you build safety, well-being being and avoiding stressful situations or experiences. .
As you implement your action plan, we reach a quarter: work with all parts of your personality, so that it is a completely complete and profound process. We work with your self-esteem, your belief system, your communication, your relationships, as well as your values. The important thing in a process of change is that it is practical (so that you get results and feel better from the start) but also deep (so that you discover more than what you think of yourself now and it will serve you forever).
To finish, it’s about living the process consistently (not only with possible sessions) but also flexible, so that the process is an aid to relieve your stress and no longer a stressful event (sometimes reducing a whole process to sessions makes it more rigid and generates more stress due to time and schedule issues). In my case, I like to accompany you constantly (every day, whatever your need) but also flexible, so that you can adapt to your daily life and your needs.
The goal is not to find well-being (well-being is not an object that one can seek or find) but that you build it with your own changes and actions. You get it through a process that also helps you stably because the learning stays with you forever.
If you want to achieve this, remember that in Human Empowerment you can schedule a first session with me (from anywhere in the world) so that we can dig deeper into your problem, find a definitive solution and above all see how I can accompany you to get it 100%.
I send you a lot of encouragement, enthusiasm and patience. Any change is possible if it happens within us.
Thanks for thinking of you
Rubén Camacho, Psychologist and coach