Relationships are often complicated. At the start of the courtship, everything is rosy, the chemists of love are in full swing and we feel overwhelmed by positive feelings. However, and under certain circumstances that we will try to explain, it is common to see how many couples degrade and even break up for a very common problem: jealousy.
What is jealousy?
In the field of couple relationships, Jealousy is a feeling of insecurity and anxiety that invades one or two members of a loving couple when a number of situations occur. This negative feeling can arise when they sense that the other’s love is in danger, or when they fearfully notice that they are no longer the center of attention of the loved one.
By extension, all interpersonal relationships can be affected by jealousy. One can find examples of situations of jealousy that arise even in adulthood: “my mother spends more time with my sister, she has always been the favorite” or “my best friend invited me to date another person. being my best friend ”.
As we can see, not all jealousies come from sentimental couples, but it is true that it is much more common among brides. In fact, jealousy is a recurring problem in couples’ psychological counseling.
The side effects of jealousy (and how to deal with them)
Situations like this can occur much more often than one might imagine, generating feelings of anger, irritability and rivalry between the parties involved. Sometimes we use the wrong ways to reinforce our sense of worth, and we also have some difficulty accepting the presence of other sources of gratification (which are not us) in the life of this loved one. These are the elements that can generate the necessary culture broth for jealousy..
However, these situations are usually, in most cases, resolved without further complications, as it is believed that in adulthood a number of emotional tools were developed to allow these unpleasant feelings to be channeled into. more adaptive responses. Most people are able to put this feeling into perspective and put it into context, but there are other people who, for one reason or another, are overwhelmed by the feeling of discomfort they cause with jealousy, without be able to control it.
The bright side of jealousy
It should be mentioned that sometimes jealousy can be useful. Is it possible? Yes, because in some situations jealousy can trigger a warning in our minds in case we are living in real life situations that require a series of actions that ensure the stability of the relationship with that loved one. For example, jealousy can be a sign that something is happening and that there may be a third person who is really involved in our love affair.
Jealousy would therefore be an advantage to make present some reasonable doubts and our decision making and not to make us act blindly because of the love or affection we feel for the other person. However, it should be noted that jealousy alone does not guarantee that we will judge what happens to us rationally: this is why other abilities are needed.
When are they harmful?
Is jealousy potentially harmful to our emotional well-being? Usually, these feelings are manifested in an uncontrolled way, they are irrational, without objective basis and therefore harmful. These are the sick jealousies, those that can really put an end to interpersonal relationships, and those that pose a problem for the psychological well-being of the person who suffers from them.
Unfortunately, there is the mistaken belief that when a person feels jealous of their loved one it is because they want it so badly. This is a glaring mistake that can generate dangerous momentum and make the situation worse. In fact, it’s easy to hear phrases like “if he’s jealous of you it’s because he’s very much in love”. This kind of conception of jealousy can be a bad start for a relationship, because the love of couple must be sown in all freedom to allow the two members to grow and flourish; jealousy only stifles the relationship, to the point of making it unbearable.
Signs that warn us that someone is jealous
They are listed below the most common symptoms that tell us we are dealing with someone suffering from ill jealousy. However, it should be noted that people who experience these feelings live in great pain for most of their days.
Jealousy is a serious problem that may require the intervention of a mental health professional. Usually, people recognize their problem on their own, but they have great difficulty in recognizing it in front of others and, therefore, refuse to receive help. This can prevent them from coming out of the negative spiral.
10 signs and symptoms shown by jealous people
- They check their relatives’ phones (Couple, family) permanently, as well as their personal accounts (Facebook, email …).
- Mistrust of colleagues, Both women and men.
- They do not look favorably on their partners performing personal activities pleasant.
- They assume their partners dress and make up to please To other people.
- They carefully check their partner’s clothes looking for other people’s marks or smells.
- They assume that the personal purchases their partners make are gifts To other people.
- They deprive their partners of enjoying spaces with other people, Even if they have the possibility of accompanying them.
- They criticize, humiliate, scold and devalue constantly to their partners.
- They tend to have a rude attitude and arrogant.
- They ridicule their partners in front of other people.
The need to overcome this problem
People who experience jealousy to a high degree experience fear, anxiety, sadness, stress, and even body aches due to their mistrust. Maybe they even feel worried about life.
But it is necessary to insist that the problems of jealousy can be overcome go to an appropriate professional. This emotional situation can be rectified.