These are the anxiety problems caused by emotional dependence

Affective dependence is an affective disorder that can greatly erode the quality of life of those who suffer from it, even becoming a psychopathology in some cases. This phenomenon occurs relatively frequently in the context of relationships, so it often appears in the context of couples therapy as one of the main problems affecting marriages and engagements.

This type of addiction is characterized by a constant search for affection, love or approval from the person or people on whom it depends, and during its evolution there are a series of elements that generate stress, discomfort or anxiety. In this article, we will focus on this last aspect, i.e. anxiety issues caused by emotional dependency dynamics.

What are the main anxiety problems caused by emotional dependence?

Here is a brief list of the most common ways in which emotional dependence intertwines with anxiety issues, creating a vicious cycle in which the two reinforce each other. For this we will take relations as an example.

1. Abandonment Panic

One of the main symptoms suffered by people suffering from emotional dependence is a lifelong fear of being rejected by their partners and the subsequent belief that once abandoned they will never be able to find someone else..

This is one of the thoughts that generates the most anxiety in emotional dependence, the constant idea that our partner will leave us at any moment and that we will not be able to do anything to prevent it.

Likewise, the reasons why the person moves to be abandoned can be varied and they do not always correspond to reality. Some of these reasons could be a discussion, making a one-time mistake of any kind, no matter how small, or an unfortunate comment.

2. Believing that one’s happiness depends on the other

In addition to the fear of rejection or abandonment, people with emotional dependence often believe that their own happiness depends on the other person; this is why they seek their company and affection at all times, entering a state of hypervigilance and trying to control their own actions perfectly so as not to stray from the line of what is supposed to be acceptable. They believe it’s not just a constant struggle to maintain the relationship, but to maintain one’s own psychological integrity..

This obsessive and irrational thinking is closely linked to the fear of loneliness and the belief that if you leave your partner, you will never be able to find love.

All these recurring thoughts are great generators of anxiety and have a very negative impact on a person’s mental health in the long run.

3. Believing that this is not enough

The recurring belief that in the end it is not enough for the other is another of the most common dynamics in the daily life of people suffering from emotional dependence. This makes the emotionally dependent person feel like they have to constantly “compensate” the other to stay by their side. Sure shouldering this burden generates a lot of stress and anxiety, because it leaves little time to relax or devote time to oneself..

On the other hand, this feeling contributes to lowering your self-esteem, causing a feedback effect.

4. Fear of making decisions

Another of the most common sources of anxiety and discomfort in people with emotional dependence is the total rejection of decision-making in the face of anything that affects them both.

This is due to fear of failure, believing that the other member of the couple will do better and has better judgment to choose for both. “My judgment is worthless, I think I’m bored…so if he doesn’t like what I’m offering him, he can get tired of me and leave me.” But since in many situations you have to choose yourself (for example, if the other person is busy), this leads to situations of great anxiety.

5. Total Submission

This refusal of any decision is also linked to total and absolute submission to the other member of the couple on whom you emotionally depend.

People suffering from emotional dependence tend to systematically accept any request, demand or initiative that comes from their partner without questioning or discussing it at any time for fear of generating anger or conflict. And knowing they can’t say no, this makes them almost never able to relaxbecause unexpected demands can arise at any time.

6. Constant need for affection

The above can be boiled down to the constant need for affection and love from your emotional partners. You need to make sure that the other person continues to feel affection or love for you, because the value of the emotionally dependent person is always in doubt. Events such as “I got fired earlier today than usual” can generate “don’t love me anymore” thoughts, and it sets off a cloud of rumors that never ends up leading us to have any approaches. impulsive harassment or harassment. Have you ever been told “you’re a heavyweight”? It’s your anxiety that works for you.

This daily and continuous search can have a very negative effect on your mental health and can lead to years of sustained anxiety over time.

Would you like to benefit from professional psychological help?

If you have felt identified, we can talk about it and work step by step on how to get out of this situation of suffering. You deserve a life worth living.

If you are looking for individual or couple psychotherapeutic support, I invite you to contact me. My name is Leticia Martinez Val and I take care of adults and adolescents either in my office located in Zaragoza or online.

Leave a Comment