Opposition Teenagers not only do they tend to experience a lot of discomfort at a stage of life when they are particularly vulnerable and which greatly influences their development; moreover, their behaviors, if not properly cared for and treated in therapy, also harm their families, harm coexistence and even promote the appearance of psychological disorders in their loved ones. It’s not your fault; Managing this type of situation without professional help is very complex, which is why it is recommended to turn to psychologists as soon as possible.
However, beyond the work that adolescents do in therapy, there are several strategies and routines that parents can adopt at home to care for these young people, to facilitate their improvement and, incidentally, to restoring the balance of family dynamics. Here we will see the most important.
Traits of Opposition Teens
Difficult Opposition Disorder (TOD) is a psychological phenomenon that occurs mainly in children and adolescents and results in a tendency to break the rules and make coexistence very difficult.
This alteration is characterized by the presence of defiant attitudes and behaviors towards social norms and conventions, as well as the refusal to collaborate or cooperate with others, whether family, friends, teachers or strangers. Although this phenomenon is more or less present in almost all adolescents, in the case of those who develop DOD, these behaviors are particularly frequent and disruptive.
Difficult Opposition Disorder is linked to a number of very characteristic behavioral symptoms, which are: predisposition to hold grudges and revenge, lack of respect for norms and authority figures, frequent irritability, a tendency to verbally attack and annoy others just for fun. However, these problematic behavioral dynamics are not as extreme as in conduct disorder.
Early detection of this disorder, as well as its treatment, are essential to improve the person’s quality of life and prevent the onset of other more serious related psychological disorders. In addition, going to therapy will be a measure to prevent these behaviors from leading to problems with long-term consequences, such as academic failure.
Strategies for Raising and Relating to Opposition Teens in the Family
If a case of TOD has run in your family and you want to know the main strategies, keep reading. Here are several guidelines you can follow to improve the family relationship and encourage the most appropriate parenting possible given the circumstances.
1. Set clear boundaries
Establishing clear, specific, and achievable boundaries and standards for coexistence, both at home and abroad, is one of the first strategies we can implement to improve the relationship with an adolescent who presents with a developmental disorder. difficult opposition.
It is important that the internal rules and established limits of conduct are clear and concise so that the teenager can easily remember them at all times and always keep them in mind who intends to behave provocatively. It is also recommended that they should not be very numerous. To “bury” the young person in a pile of new rules every time they break them is totally counterproductive, because it devalues them and also makes them seem arbitrary or a matter of revenge.
Also, make him understand why one of these limitations will allow him to “connect” more easily with them by seeing their usefulness, their positive side.
2. Praise positive behaviors
Just as non-compliance and disobedience should be punished when the adolescent misbehaves, we should also clearly point out and strongly praise positive behavior.
In this way, we reinforce the attitudes that interest us so that they are reproduced in the future and become the habitual tonic of behavior. In addition to this, we make the teenager understand what is the right way to establish correct relationships and live together as a family.
Positive reinforcement and praise for appropriate behavior should be specific and as concise as possible, and can be accompanied by significant rewards for the adolescent.
3. Teach values
In families where there is a teenager with TOD, it is very important that parents and other family members teach him a series of essential values to achieve a good social adaptation.
Some of these values may include taking responsibility for one’s own actions (pointing out the consequences of misbehavior); the importance of effort to obtain rewards, tolerance of frustration and respect for others around us. This can be done through stories and examples, explaining why certain behaviors speak well of a person. For example, the use of films can be useful.
4. Exercise as a role model
Just as we must teach our child a series of values, we must also serve as a model for him to learn these same values and behaviors from ourselves.
To achieve this goal, it is recommended that the rules that apply to the adolescent with Difficult Opposition Disorder be followed equally by all family members, or in the event of non-compliance (for example, it doesn’t make sense to adults have limits on how long to arrive late at night), explain very well why and show that behaving with maturity has its advantages.
5. Share activities
Sharing fun and fun activities with the family is also a way to bond with the teenage son and can serve both to improve their mental stability, and to achieve a good mood and increase their self-esteem.
By sharing activities or a few hours of the day with the adolescent, we contribute to making him feel integrated into the family, included in family activities and it is one of the best ways to put an education into practice. positive.
6. Practice positive parenting
Positive parenting includes all of the above guidelines and it is based on consistent and constant discipline as well as love, trust, affection and a positive bond between parents and children.
Thanks to this type of parenting from childhood, we will ensure that the child feels loved and respected at all times, with clear limits of education and coexistence that allow him to learn to behave correctly and to develop properly.
7. Avoid power struggles
Faced with episodes of opposition or refusal to obey the rules of the house, it is important to avoid power struggles with the adolescent and to put in place useful parenting strategies that make it possible to maintain control of the situation and help us to communicate positively with him. meets standards.
Some of the tricks we can use to avoid teenage opposition and power struggle between the two parties can be give you two or more options to complete a task; this way we give you a voice in the decisions that are going to be made.
8. Avoid labels
Frequently using labels like “you’re a bastard” or “you’re irresponsible” will only make you embed those adjectives into your personality and defend them as your own against others. Better to be constructive in the face of inappropriate actions.
9. Convince yourself of the benefits of going to therapy
In addition to implementing all the strategies mentioned above, it is important to go to therapy to treat oppositional disorders. difficulties that the adolescent may present, so as not to trigger other more serious problems; and, on the other hand, it is also important address the problem in therapy by intervening in the family system.
To get him into therapy, it is very helpful if the parents and relatives of the adolescent convince him of the benefits. Convenient to go to a psychology professional, that is, those who will make you feel better in a short time and give you a better quality of life.
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In Adhara Psychology We welcome people of all ages and families who are going through difficult times or who need to reconnect with their emotions and learn how to manage them better. Through Humanist Psychology, we offer psychological intervention plans adapted to each case and taking into account the particularities and needs of the individual, while respecting their subjectivity. We respond online via video call or through face-to-face sessions in Madrid.