It’s possible to be sad for no apparent reason; it’s a more common feeling than we think, so we shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Having everything is not a sufficient reason to be happy.
Sadness is a basic emotion that we can feel when an aspect of our surroundings or an internal state affects us, generating an unpleasant sensation in us. But that doesn’t mean that it is not functional or that we should avoid it, as it can help us know what is happening to us so that we can work on it and deal with it. Allow yourself to be sad and not to feel bad.
In this article, we will describe what is meant by sadness and what its functions can be, and why many people find themselves in a situation where they wonder: “Why am I sad if my life is going well?” “.
What do we mean by sadness?
Society sets us goals or achievements that we must achieve in order to be happy, but … is this really what we want? Likewise, we live a fast-paced life that makes it difficult for us to have time for ourselves and to value what we have. They teach us to want more and more and never to reach a level where we are emotionally full.
Sadness is one of the six basic emotions; this term refers to the fact that it is an emotion that has its own characteristics, different from others and that everyone can identify when they perceive the expression of sadness. Thus appears a state of apathy, lack of motivation; anhedonia, lack of feeling of pleasure; decreased appetite … which as expected generates an unpleasant sensation in individuals who suffer from it.
But contrary to what one might expect, we will not consider this to be an inappropriate emotion. All emotions, positive and negative, are functional, that is, they act as a signal of the state of our environment and of how we are inside. In other words, they help us realize how we are, what positive or negative surrounds us, or how we feel on the inside.
Like that, it is very important not to confuse sadness and depression, because this confusion is very typical of the society in which we live, because it tends to use indiscriminately, as synonyms, one or the other term, “I am depressed” and “I am sad”. These do not really refer to the same thing, because unlike sadness, which as we have seen is a basic emotion and can be functional, depression is considered a disorder, and as such, can occur. present as a symptom of sadness, but it must also meet the criterion of non-functionality, of impact on the subject’s life.
It is therefore very important not to confuse the terms, sadness it’s a necessary emotion which will help us to know how we are and to know what we like and what we do not like, what makes us good and what hurts us… On the contrary, depression is not functional, it affects the well-being of the individual, considering both a pathology.
If I have everything … Why am I sad?
In this way the sadness it can serve as a signal that something is wrong, but it can also appear for no apparent reason., without a visible or clear cause generating it.
So, the causes of being sad can be multiple and sometimes they are not so clear. For example, it may be that what makes us sad are events that happened a long time ago that we did not get over or healed well or events that did not affect us then but from then on. from which the discomfort developed some time later.
The onset of sadness does not respond to a simple cause and effect mechanism and has no defined duration; That means this may be an unpleasant or negative event for us and the sadness may not appear right after, but after a while and in the same way each person and situation is different; therefore, the duration of sadness may vary depending on the individual who suffers from it or the time of life that it occurs may vary.
Likewise, we often tend to only value what we have or how we are on the outside, no matter how we are on the inside. In other words, it is sadness can be caused by external and internal events, then the situation may be that we have everything, work, housing, partner, friends… but we feel sad because the problem may be that we are not well internally.
This way, if we are good with ourselves we cannot be 100% even on the outside we lack nothing.
Another point to assess is whether truly “having it all” is what makes us happy. Often what people think of as everything depends on a social construct and the culture to which they belong, that is, what is socially valued as an achievement and as a goal to be achieved.
From an early age we grow up surrounded by beliefs that influence us, the world we live in sets us goals that we must achieve if we are to be happy, such as finding a partner with whom to have children and start a family, to have a stable job, independent and having his own house, among many others. But what if what we’ve been told really brings happiness isn’t what makes us happy, and if I’m a woman and don’t want to have kids, and if I want to be single.
These are considerations that we must keep in mind because we tend not to question things and accept them as we are told, and maybe having whatever is supposed to make us happy, we feel sad because it’s not what we really want but what society has established or marked for us.
Another factor that could cause us sadness is the lack of enjoyment of the situation; maybe we have everything we really want and that would make us happy, however we don’t spend time appreciating and appreciating it. We live fast, with a pace of life that does not let us rest, society is constantly asking us to do things to achieve our success, without being able to take advantage of what we already have, we are constantly thinking about the future, we let’s act to achieve something but we don’t stop to live in the present, to be happy with what we already have.
It is therefore not uncommon that we lose interest when we have already achieved a goal, that we stop valuing what we have to focus all our efforts on achieving what we do not have. As we have said, society demands that we do things, never being enough, making what we have and only want what we don’t have.
How to deal with the feeling of sadness
To be able to deal with and deal with sadness we have to stop, stop focusing on the outside and focus on ourselves, on the inside, on ourselves. what does not allow us to be well or what we really want.
We humans either love it or we have to feel like we are in control of it even though we can know the cause and reason for all the things that are happening. But there are events, facts, sensations which do not have such a clear explanation that it is not for us to give or to disappear. It is influenced by factors that we cannot change like genetics, there are some people who are more likely to have some type of feeling because they have certain traits. In the same way, biological disorders can also occur at the level of hormones, neurotransmitters, which affect our feelings.
So it’s not all up to us, so we shouldn’t blame ourselves. We tend to blame ourselves when we feel sad for no reason, causing them to enter a loop of guilt and sadness, as the more we feel. blame it, the sadder we will feel and, as a result, we will continue to blame ourselves.
So, it can help to devote: listen to yourself, get to know yourself, know what you really want and value what you have, live in the present and do not constantly think about the future, to achieve new successes.
In the same way allow yourself to feel sad; it is a functional emotion that should not be avoided. Do not try to deny or feel bad or guilty for being sad, as this will only make the situation worse, without allowing you to handle and deal with the situation properly. You have to learn to de-stigmatize sadness, it’s not bad and it’s impossible and dysfunctional to always be happy.
Finally, point out that we can always seek professional help if we find that we cannot cope with the situation and notice that it is beyond our control. Concluding that it is time to go to psychotherapy is not a failure; the psychologist can give us more specific tools and strategies and bring better control of our situation.