Why should I consult a psychologist if I am unfaithful?

It is often taken for granted that infidelity is a “mistake”; as if it was the result of a bad decision, something that happens after incorrectly calculating the pros and cons of breaking the engagement. But the truth is that the causes and consequences of infidelity go beyond the intellectual; It has to do with how we experience emotions.

Therefore, in this article we will see what they are the benefits of going to psychotherapy after having generated a crisis of infidelity.

When is infidelity a reason to go to psychotherapy?

It is not always necessary to follow a psychotherapy after having committed an infidelity; for example, if it happens in time within a toxic relationship in which trust has long been broken by both parties, this kind of behavior may simply be a way to end it, and in those cases, if we do not feel psychological sequelae, it is possible to turn the page directly. But in many other cases, it is advisable to have psychological support.

These are the main sources of intervention in psychological therapy applied to people who have committed infidelity.

1. If you are looking to resolve the relationship crisis

Obviously, if the infidelity is known to both members of the couple and they have decided to give the relationship another chance, couples therapy is the ideal context to rebuild this link.

With the help of the psychologist, it is possible to talk about this problem in a constructive way, without falling into a loop of discussions that bring nothing and are based on blame, and to repair the trust damaged by infidelity.

2. To resolve impulsivity issues

Sometimes infidelity is mainly explained by a problem of excessive impulsivity, difficulties in managing one’s impulses by thinking about the medium and long term (which includes commitments to third parties), with or without drug use. In both cases It is important to go to psychotherapy to learn techniques for managing emotions and stress.

On the other hand, if impulsivity is linked to antisocial traits, it is even more important to go through psychological treatment to learn how to “connect” to society and to the dynamics of collaboration and mutual trust.

3. As a means of improving self-knowledge

Although culturally we tend to associate infidelity with concepts such as “debauchery”, the truth is that in many cases it is nothing more than a reflection of a deep malaise that has nothing to do with the desire to have fun, but with the desire to escape the emptiness that the person feels.

Therefore, psychotherapy offers ways to move forward in a process of self-knowledge that helps to understand what triggered the infidelity, whether the relationship still exists or ended in a breakup, given that the discomfort that is largely the cause of what happened is often prior to and relatively distinct from this engagement or marriage.

Only in this way will the tendency to behave erratically in life due to this lack of direction, both in private life and in relationships, and will provide a series of routines capable of keeping the person connected to what he really likes and is interested in. .

4. As a support to rebuild self-esteem

In the sense of the previous section, infidelity is generally not an experience that merely brings sensory and short-term pleasure; this often leads to a great loss of self-esteem, although it is common for the person who has been unfaithful not to realize it from the start. And although some may consider cheating on their partner, self-cheating is almost impossible, and the clash between the act of infidelity and the personal values ​​associated with what is meant by love and life as a couple is often perceptible.

Therefore, psychotherapy offers a series of strategies and activities to regenerate self-esteem, which includes both learning to constructively interpret the past and present of those who go to the psychologist, as well as offering interesting and exciting goals and projects. serve to prove to yourself how reliable and positive you can be for others.

Would you like to benefit from psychotherapeutic support?

If you are looking for psychology services in the area of ​​couples therapy or patient-centered individual psychotherapy, I invite you to contact me.

My name is Javier Ares and I am a psychologist specializing in mood disorders, anxiety and marital crises; I take care of adults and adolescents from the beginning of the cognitive-behavioral model combined with relaxation and mindfulness techniques. Sessions can be face-to-face or online via video call.

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