Why stop always seeking the approval of others

Human nature prompts us to satisfy the desire to belong to a social group. Whether it’s our family, the group of friends, at work, we tend to do things to feel part of a group and thus to feel safe.

Having this need is normal. Whether we adopt certain attitudes or customs to strengthen the bonds, it is good. But sometimes this attitude becomes extreme and we start to feel that we continually need the approval of others to get things done, to make decisions, or to be somehow. This extreme need is unhealthy and negates us as individuals.

Let’s go over some reasons for why it is not good to always seek the approval of others.

    Why it is not good to always seek the approval of others

    Here are some reasons why it is harmful to always be aware of what others think about us.

    1. It generates anxiety in us

    When we constantly feel judged and it affects us, then we seek the approval of others to eliminate this negative judgment; but even if we get the approval, we do not put aside the perception that others criticize us and we are constantly seeking approval again.

    This vicious circle generates anxiety. We find ourselves in constant stress until we feel like we have never satisfied others and far from giving up trying, we worry more about seeking social approval.

      2. We lose freedom

      Our decisions are no longer ours become the decision of others about us. It is losing freedom, because we are not exercising our decision-making capacity, which is the result of the inner voice telling us what it wants to do and where to go, to give way to the outer voice telling us where to go.

      If we are guided only by the opinions of others about our lives, we will allow ourselves to impose all the limiting barriers of society on ourselves and we will stop acting freely.

      3. We feel exhausted

      Living with the constant stress of doing things according to the wishes of others is very exhausting.

      mentally it is very tiring to think about what others will think if we act this way, And very devastating when what we do is not approved by others and it affects us greatly. Eventually it manifested physically and we started to feel exhausted which resulted in everything being behind our backs and a lack of energy to do everyday things.

      4. Decreases self-confidence

      When we make decisions and they are favorable, we gain security in ourselves. If these decisions do not go as planned, this security is diminished, however accepting the consequences of a bad decision allows us to regain confidence and try again.

      It helps us gain self-confidence and self-sufficiency by allowing us to live life in safety. The need for the constant approval of others makes us feel that we could do nothing without the assertion of others, and that our successes are not the result of our efforts or our good deeds; but from the outside.

      5. We forget our needs

      In making a decision, we must take into account, among other things, our wants and needs. But if we seek the approval of others, we forget that and we leave room for the tastes and desires of others.

      This brings us to face a decision that we need to make, before we think about what might work well for us, we give others the decision power and already at this point we will have forgotten what our needs were.

      6. We don’t understand that there are different ways of looking at life

      We become what we don’t like, and we stop understanding that there is a difference of opinion and that we feel that others; those who make decisions unrelated to what the group dictates are wrong, and we distrust and judge them.

      Thinking that we have to decide based on the approval of others leads to lose sight of the breadth of visions and opinions which concerns a fact or life itself.

      7. We feel the center of the universe

      When we seek the approval of others, it is because we feel that our life decisions are in everyone’s eyes and that they will be judged and approved or disapproved of. This is because we believe everyone is looking for us and going through every step.

      Feeling like this generates so much anxiety that we prefer to constantly ask for the opinions of others. before hearing again that everyone around us is judging our decisions.

      8. We lose authenticity

      Showing ourselves to others as we are becomes impossible. We hide our opinions and feelings. We can even dress differently than we would like, or say that we are fitting because we we constantly need the approval of others. With this attitude, we cease to be authentic. We get lost in the sea of ​​other people’s opinions and no longer know who we really are.

      Quitting being ourselves is certainly one of the most powerful reasons why we shouldn’t constantly seek the approval of others.

      How do you stop thinking about the opinions of others?

      To learn how to practice the habit of not giving more importance to the opinions of others than you, you can read this article: “Tips to Stop Thinking About What Other People Think of You”

      Bibliographical references:

      • Milazzo, L. (1999). Socialization. José María Vargas University. Venezuela.
      • Ramasubbu, S. (05/26/2015). “Influence of Social Media on Teens.” Huffington Post.

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