The world has changed a lot in a century, but unfortunately there are still many vestiges of a deeply sexist culture which until not so long ago dominated our society.
This is also noticeable in the realm of couple relationships, where all too often the irrationality of love mixes with the irrationality of a gender role system in which the male gender is more inclined to have a role. dominant, directly or indirectly, over the other person.
Of course, that’s not always the case, and many couples the harmony between their two members is perfectly healthy, but that doesn’t stop many women from getting involved in a toxic type of relationship that almost damages them. daily, something that takes care of the servants. data on violence are less common among men. They simply have an easier time assuming a dominant role or one in which they are not subject to the other person’s designs.
Related article: “The 30 Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship”
Couples treating each other as if they were an object
Many of the harmful or uncomfortable and degrading experiences that can be generated in relationships arise from reification, that is, the tendency to treat someone as if they were an objectSomething without real motivation, without goals and without a valid point of view in itself.
Cosification is usually somewhat automatic and involuntary, and in the case of men, it is fostered by a cultural heritage in which important decisions are made by the male sex. Women can also treat a man as an object (and this often happens in certain contexts), but in the context of the couple it is less frequent because they are not predisposed to it by this cultural context.
They act in this regard
It is precisely because of the automatic and unconscious nature of reification that it is not always easy to detect the symptoms that in a relationship occur harmful dynamics, behaviors directed towards women (usually, but sometimes also towards men) they do not have to be endured and it is important to put an end to such pernicious and degrading behavior.
Identify toxic behaviors
The following are some guidelines for detecting such problems and knowing how to distinguish between what is “normal and expected” in a healthy relationship.
1. Systematic cries
Anyone can scream when they get angry or when they are particularly excited, but also it is possible for men to systematically use shouts to impose their point of view and indirectly show their potential for violence.
This is noticeable when we notice that the other person calls without any reason at least for a contrary point of view to be expressed, or just at the beginning of discussions in which no reason has yet been given for the boredom. . If this is repeated over and over, it is quite possible that the screaming is used with intimidating eagerness.
In relationships, there is no reason that can justify an insult. Of course, there are cases and cases, and sometimes some derogatory comments can be used jokingly as a comment about funny behavior.
However, insults with a connotation of contempt or in a situation of anger are a serious symptom, because they are still a totally unacceptable verbal aggression.
3. Eternal condescension
Treat the couple as if they were minors and had no judgment it basically means that the other person is not supposed to have the characteristics that define an adult. Unjustifiable condescension is a way of indirectly underestimating the other person.
This type of behavior must be distinguished from those aimed at teaching a person a subject or a skill that he or she does not master, to be very specific. However, condescension is a type of attitude that is present no matter what topic the conversation revolves around.
4. The continuous lies
Honesty is one of the basic ingredients in relationships, so lies are doubly serious. If the deceptions become recurrent, something is seriously wrong.
To feel a sexual attraction towards people outside the couple or to have a very intimate relationship with other people for whom one might feel attraction is not always romantic infidelity; after all, there are polyamorous relationships. However, in monogamous relationships, which are usually the norm, it is very important not to break the consensus on the commitments that each member of the relationship must make.
It should be noted that once the rules have been broken and infidelity has been committed, it is easier to reoffend. The fact that men tend to have more intense sex drives is no excuse, as such relationships are based on symmetry: both members must adhere to the same rules so that the relationship is not distorted.
6. Tease about your own tastes
Spending a lot of time together also means getting to know the other person’s tastes and hobbies. One way you can show condescension to the other person is making derogatory comments about the couple’s musical style, hobbies or cultural tastes.
If those taunts are always repeated, they cease to be funny comments (or not) and turn into a way to highlight his moral and intellectual superiority. It is toxic behavior that should be avoided.
Teasing can also relate to the couple’s socio-economic background: The economic level of your family or the land you come from, especially if you are associated with a rural or poor environment.
Constantly remembering the other person’s humble origins implies that it was the couple who “stank” you from this medium, and therefore may give rise to the idea that you owe them a debt.
8. Threats and physical attacks
There is very little to say about this section: beatings and attempts to frighten are a reason to immediately break up the relationship and take legal action. They are in no way justifiable.
Recommended article: “The cycle of violence in relationships”
9. Assuming that the wife has to take care of the house
There is no excuse that a woman has to do housework for the simple fact of being a woman.. It is to be expected that both members of the couple are equally responsible for these functions, unless specific conditions are given to prevent this.
Believing that a woman’s natural space is the kitchen is the clearest example of a sexist mindset, which is totally toxic.
10. Sick jealousy and hermeticism
If the couple tries to get a handle on how the other person spends their time alone (or with friends), they are little more than a couple and turn into a jailer. Jealousy is a fundamentally individual problem.
You might also be interested in: “Sick Jealousy: 10 Signs of Overly Jealous People”