When your happiness depends on others, then you are an emotionally dependent person. This problematic situation makes you feel addicted to your partner even though things are not going well between you.
And even if you already know that you haven’t been well in your relationship for a long time, you don’t have enough strength to step forward for fear of uncertainty or for not trusting yourself when it is. it is about coping with situations that may arise. in your daily life. You are afraid of being alone and you prefer to stay here knowing that you are not happy.
If you feel identified with this and think it would be positive to get out of this situation, in this article you can see some keys and tips for becoming an emotionally independent person.
How to get out of such a painful situation
While men often hide this problem out of shame in acknowledging and expressing that they are emotionally dependent on another person, this phenomenon affects both sexes equally.
Emotional dependence causes great suffering because anyone who experiences it thinks they are unable to live without the other person, And this happens when the latter has low self-esteem or mistaken beliefs about what a relationship should be. It is a kind of immature love that has no future. It takes courage and bravery to learn how to overcome emotional addiction, but it’s worth doing so that one can finally take control of one’s own life.
- If you want to know what healthy love looks like, you can read our article: “Mature love: why is second love better than first love?”
Tips for Overcoming Emotional Addiction
If you want to overcome emotional dependence and become a person with more autonomy and independence, you can follow the tips below:
1. Be honest with yourself and recognize that there is a problem.
One of the hardest things to do when someone is in this situation is to think deeply about what is going on. It’s easier to look away or blame other people for looking inward and acknowledge that we have a problem.
Taking the time to self-observe and sincerely recognize that there is a problem is the start of being able to step forward and end the emotional addiction.
2. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty
And it is that, often, it is the fear of being alone that makes us come and go in this toxic relationship that causes us so much pain and suffering. When we feel that the future alone is uncertain, we prefer to stay here, in the place we already know. Therefore, it is necessary get out of the comfort zone and adopt a positive attitude towards change.
3. Learn to say “no”
Learning to be assertive is essential to enjoy the emotional balance needed to enjoy greater well-being. Being assertive is saying what you think while respecting the other person with whom you interact. In other words, that is to say it’s about respecting the other side, but it’s also about respecting each other. Learning to say “no” is essential to regain emotional autonomy.
4. Work on yourself
The main problem with people who are emotionally dependent is that they are too dependent on the other person and forget who they are. You have to pursue your goals, have your hobbies and work on grow every day a bit like human beingor, in other words, self-actualization. To stop being an emotionally dependent person, one of the keys is to fight for your own personal development.
5. And … boost your self-esteem
Working on oneself is the first step in strengthening one’s self-esteem which, as has already been said, is one of the main causes for which an individual finds himself in this situation. Outraged, the more you are in this toxic relationship, the more you suffer the consequences in terms of self-esteem.
That is why it is necessary to implement strategies that help improve self-esteem. I recommend our article: “10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days” to work on your self-esteem.
6. Review your beliefs
Another major cause that someone can find themselves in a situation of emotional addiction is their own belief in what love is and how a relationship should be.
To avoid this, it is necessary question and think critically about own beliefs. In the movies, love may look very beautiful, but the reality is different. You shouldn’t force yourself to be in a relationship out of fear of being alone or out of the need to have a partner and get married.
You can enjoy great satisfaction and well-being while being single. You can find out in this article: “Is it possible to be single and happy? The 8 advantages of not having a partner.”
7. Build relationships with other people
It can also happen that the emotionally dependent person has a bad social life, few friends or feels isolated. This creates a complicated situation because the person has no one to talk to and tell them what is happening to them. Also have an active social life it makes us enjoy much healthier relationships and don’t depend so much on one person.
8. Be brave
To get out of this situation, you have to take responsibility, because you can choose between staying here and taking a step forward to end the problem. You have to be courageous and not be afraid of the future. For that, nothing like setting short-term goals and making them very clear from the start. Changes take a period of adjustment, and over time, you won’t regret making the decision to leave this toxic relationship behind.
9. Resist the temptation to go back
Obviously there will be easier times and more difficult times to take a step forward. But you must know that change is never easy and that there may be ups and downs along the way. Understanding this can make you realize that you need to resist the temptation to go back.
10. Learn to love the healthy way
To start healing our relationship, we need to love in a healthy way and leave a lot behind. limiting beliefs that we have incorporated that prevent us from fully enjoying relationships. As personal development experts say, this is a very heavy backpack. Going from emotional dependence to emotional autonomy is one of the keys to well-being as a couple, and for that, you have to love in a mature way.
11. Avoid the expectations of others
Many emotionally dependent people are likely to have unrealistic and overly intense expectations of what to expect from others. This usually leads to idealization towards the other side, And it is not a wise decision to fill the void we may feel with ourselves with the need to have someone by our side at all costs.
Living with this illusory image of another person can be dangerous, because even in the face of proof that our expectations are not true, those expectations can keep us hooked on something imaginary, an unreal image of who the other is. person. Realizing this can help overcome emotional dependence.
12. Seek professional help
In some cases, these tips can help you get over this situation and understand what the problem is. Being aware that you are emotionally dependent, recognizing that you are afraid of being alone and of working to grow and develop as a person, are strategies that will help you improve your well-being and empower yourself in life. and uncertainty.
However, breaking out of this dark and toxic relationship is not always easy. The best way to do this is to seek professional help.As a psychologist can help you acquire tools to improve your self-esteem, your interpersonal skills and therefore your well-being.