Many times we get used to experiencing emotional relationships as if it is something given to us through life, as some kind of gift that we immediately accept and experience without thinking too much about what we are doing. This idea can be very poetic, but over time it puts us at risk. Specifically, it does not make us question certain ideas about what it means to love and be loved.
If we believe that opportunities to start a relationship arise spontaneously in our wake, we lose sight of all those habits and customs that bring us closer to experiencing love one way and not another. And, when all those decisions and behavioral trends that we don’t realize they bring us closer to having only toxic and unsatisfying relationshipsThe thing is getting much more serious.
And the worst thing about a bad romance isn’t always that experience itself, but the fact that you haven’t learned the lessons from it.
Ways of thinking that lead to relapse into toxic relationships over and over again
As much as in love, some things are obvious to us, so we would spare ourselves many problems if we realized that many of the beliefs we have about relationships are simply prejudices and irrational beliefs.
Some of these baseless ideas are relatively harmless, but others cause us to stumble over and over with the same stone, without even realizing that we have a predisposition to fall into this kind of mistake in our love life.
Here are some of those ways of thinking that they predispose us to get involved in toxic relationships, And what makes them so harmful.
1. The belief in the orange half
Romantic love, understood as a relationship in which two people unite inseparably to form one body, is one of the most harmful beliefs in existence. The reason is that it promotes the emergence of interdependence and obsession with controlling others, On the one hand, and the lack of time to be alone with oneself, on the other hand.
In the long run, the level of discomfort and stress caused by these types of celebrations and weddings makes the situation unbearable.
2. Engagement is scary
Relationships can be exciting, but some people are very scared of one side of them: commitment. So when dating someone, they try to lead a “normal life”, stay in their comfort zone, and continue to behave unilaterally, even in a relationship. This, in practice, this means that there are no commitments, or that there are very few, And that everyone makes their single life at all times except at certain times.
Thus, from this habit, the couple is something that appears and disappears at its convenience. It might seem like a free emotional option, but it’s actually a direct route to fears, insecurities, and paranoia. A relationship, because it exists, must be built on certain commitments; however, it is its members who decide what goes into the pact and what is omitted.
3. One party decides, the other party does
The fact that some relationships are made up of very different people means that sometimes one maintains a passive attitude and the other takes a more active role. Over time, this can turn into a dynamic in which we always decide on these little daily choices.
Although at first it seems like a harmless trend, this habit usually leads to overeating on the part of the decision maker, Since he is the one who perceives the most that the relationship is not symmetrical. In fact, the situation can be interpreted as a symptom of a lack of commitment and interest in spending time together.
4. If in doubt, apologize
There are those who enter the world of love with lead feet, with a lot of fear of disturbing the loved one. This means that in ambiguous situations in which dissatisfaction or anger is intuitive, it is simply accepted that one is to blame, leading to apologies. But this is a mistake.
Ensuring symmetry is a necessary thing in order not to live in a toxic relationship, and for this you need to know how to create a constant flow of communication, let both parties know what is going on, so before you apologize you must ensure that they really exist. reasons for this, and which are understood.