Unfortunately, relationships are not always healthy, and abuse is a phenomenon that occurs in some toxic relationships. In the article “Profile of the psychological aggressor: 21 common traits”, we are already looking at the psychological profile of an abuser. But … How do we know when we are psychologically abused?
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Questions to know if you suffer from psychological abuse as a couple
Below is a list of questions that can help you know if you are a victim of this type of psychological abuse. In addition, they will allow you to think about the basics of your relationship and can help you realize that something is not working well.
1. Does he tell you how to dress? If you go somehow he doesn’t like it, gets mad at you and you decide to change your clothes? Are there any pieces you don’t wear anymore because you know he doesn’t like you going like this and you’re going to have issues with that?
Abusers are controlling and authoritarian. Their insecurity makes them poisonously jealous.
2. When you do something for your partner, does he thank you or make you feel it is your duty?
In psychological abuse, manipulation appears frequently, as you can see in the article “6 manipulation strategies used by abusers”.
3. Do you make important decisions without considering your opinion?
Manipulators are authoritarian people, Who think they are always right about everything.
4. Do you control the money you spend? Should you ask your partner for money? Are you asking permission to buy something, either for yourself or for the house?
In addition to controlling the clothes, it also ensures the control of expenses and finances.
5. Do you have to inform him of your hours?
The manipulative person directs the life of his partner. It doesn’t let you be free.
6. Does it detract from your personal or professional achievements?
He cannot tell you how much you are worth because he cares if you feel insecure or insecure and have low self-esteem.
7. Organize your free time? Do you think that in your spare time you should ask him what to invest your time in?
Control the way you dress, your spending and also your time.
8. When you have a problem, narrow it down with comments like: it’s nothing, are you complaining about the defect, etc.?
The abuser does not feel love for you, although he will sometimes disguise himself so that you remain attached to his abuse.
9. Does this make you doubt your abilities?
If you are not safe, it is easier for you to fall into their net.
10. Count the times you do things you don’t like or disagree with to avoid a discussion.
It is common for an abuser to give you things in the face to justify his attitude.
11. Do you feel like you wouldn’t know how to move on if you weren’t by his side?
If you don’t see yourself able to leave the suffering behind, you won’t and you will continue to be caught up in their mistreatment.
12. Does your partner tell you that he will stop hitting you when you start behaving correctly?
It is common that, even if you are not at fault, he blames you for his behavior for no reason.
13. Do you get angry if you invest more time with friends or family than you think is necessary?
One way to isolate yourself is make you feel bad about having contact with your family and friends.
14. If you are in public, are you afraid to speak up in case it affects your partner?
The abuser tries to make you feel guilty even for doing the right thing.
15. Have you stopped counting your partner’s problems around you because you know that if you find out, they will get angry?
Ultimately, the relationship becomes toxic. Confidence is completely lost.
16. Does your partner control what you have done and disbelieve your answers?
Lack of trust also turns into mistrust.
17. Do you control your mobile and your social networks?
Social media is part of our daily life. This is why the aggressor seeks to control them at all costs.
18. Do you feel uncomfortable if someone of the opposite sex is looking at you in case your partner notices and could be the subject of another discussion?
Sick jealousy they are part of the daily life of a toxic relationship.
19. Does your partner criticize or embarrass you in front of other people?
He does not respect you and is not afraid to disrespect others.
20. Is your jealous partner shown, with behaviors such as accusing you of having affairs?
Mistrust is great in this type of relationship, and so can unfounded accusations of infidelity.
21. Do you often use emotional blackmail to achieve your goals?
Emotional blackmail is a weapon widely used by abusers. You can find out in the article “Emotional blackmail: a powerful form of manipulation in the couple”.
22. Does he treat you like he is your father / mother instead of your partner?
Your relationship is not a loving relationship based on respect.
23. Do you feel pressured or pressured into having sex with your partner?
it is such the domination he exercises over you, That you feel obligated to please him.
24. Do you think that you cannot be yourself when you are with your partner?
You fear their reaction and that is why your behavior changes.
25. Are you afraid to express an opinion different from that of your partner?
Manipulative people are bossy and therefore their opinion is all that matters.
26. Do you think that even without being there, when you want to be yourself, do you think about what might be bothering you and stop doing the things you wanted to?
His influence on you is so great that even without being present, you are afraid of him.
27. Do you remember the mistakes you made once and a thousand times?
He behaves like this to make you feel inferior and your self-esteem suffers.
28. Do you feel guilty when you get sick?
Even when you are sick, you cannot be yourself.
29. Have you stopped seeing your family or friends because of your partner’s behavior?
He tried to take you away from your family and he was successful.
30. Do you watch what you do for fear that your partner will get angry or feel bad?
The fear in your partner is such that you behave exactly as he wants.
31. Has the way he speaks to you become an imperative?
At first, the abuser may seem like a good person, but over time he sheds light on his true personality. To learn more about the subtle aspects of personality, you can learn more in some of the books in this selection of books: “The 31 Best Psychology Books You Should Not Miss”.
32. Are you afraid?
If you are afraid of your partner, you must react. Seek help from people and professionals nearby.
33. When a discussion has taken place, do you give in most of the time even if you are right because you could go days without talking to yourself and empty yourself?
Take complete control of your behavior, And you are no longer even able to to affirm.
34. Do you blame your friends for eliciting your arguments and distance yourself from them?
To try to distance yourself from your friendships, blame them for your discussions.
35. Do you feel anxious or nervous when you are close to your partner?
Fear and anxiety arise when you need to be close to your partner.
36. Do you go places and do things you don’t want to get angry?
Stop being yourself because you are afraid of him.
37. Problems like telling him certain things because you know his reaction may be disproportionate?
Not only do you go places you don’t want to, but you also don’t say what you think for fear of your reaction.
38. Do you think you need their approval in everything you do, or even think about?
You are not a free person because you depend on him in all respects. You can’t even think freely.
39. If you have a problem outside of the relationship, do you feel responsible for it?
It makes you feel guilty even in situations that have nothing to do with your relationship.
40. Have you noticed that when the same thing is done by another person, you value them more positively than if you are the one doing it?
He treats you differently from others and can be very different from others.