Few life experiences are as painful as a lack of love. Feeling rejected by our ex-partner leads us to go through a grieving process that can last several months. And as I explained in our article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”, this experience is comparable to that lived by an addict who seeks to put aside his addiction to a psychoactive substance, because the neural circuits which activate when someone uses drugs, it also activates when we fall in love.
At this time, we may experience a neurochemical mismatch which leads us to sadness and obsession, as the levels of certain neurochemicals in the brain (eg, serotonin) are altered. Our emotional balance is affected, but over time and following the advice that you can find in this link, it is possible to overcome it. Although the lack of love is painful, it is a great opportunity to learn. As the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.
Benefits of breaking up (well managed)
If you live without love, you might feel like you will always be like this: discouraged, constantly thinking about that person you love, hanging up on your cell phone in case you get a call or message from its part that would never happen … well, once you’ve gone through a series of phases, and even if you don’t believe it now, breaking up a couple also has its advantages. What are they? In the following lines, I tell you.
1. It makes you stronger and resilient
Painful situations affect us all, what changes from one individual to another is the way we deal with them. They say people learn out of curiosity and pain, and painful situations help us discover new psychological tools and adaptive behaviors as they test us, leading us to emotional borderline situations. Overcoming the lack of love, for example, is to grow as an individual.
It can also happen that during the relationship you made mistakes and learning from those mistakes happened to all of us. When we feel the pain of a loss, we can always learn something positive.. In this learning, we become stronger and, once we have overcome this difficult stage, we become more prepared to face similar situations in the future. Although the lack of love always hurts, this learning can mean less suffering in the future.
However, it is important to keep in mind that in order to learn from the past it is necessary to conduct deep self-reflection and question the meaning of this experience, Otherwise, learning will not take place.
2. It lets you get out of the comfort zone
The negative emotions that appear during this stage can be used in a positive way. For example, anger is great for mobilizing if we are focusing on specific goals that can help us grow instead of our ex. Lack of love hurts, but if we overcome it in a healthy way, it can cause us to step out of the comfort zone, reinvent ourselves, and try things that we wouldn’t be able to try if we were in it. couple’s comfort.
When they leave us we have two options: sink or move. Moving can lead to positive change, which is why many experts say that the best way to overcome lack of love is to fight for our own personal development.
3. It helps you get to know yourself better
Living as a couple has often made us largely dependent on our partner because we share many moments together. In some cases, those people who spend a lot of time together, they have serious difficulties getting to know each other even. This moment of instability can lead many people to experience an existential crisis, that is, an identity crisis. While the best way to overcome the lack of love is to fight for your own personal development, this requires a high level of self-knowledge.
4. Improve your relationships in the future
Each relationship we have can be a learning experience for future relationships and it can help us choose the partners who best match our personality, our tastes and our interests. For example, it is often said that the second love is better than the first.
5. Peace of mind
Some relationships can be traumatic, and while it is difficult to leave them due to the emotional addiction, over time you realize that this was the best option. In these cases, a breakup can help us regain more peace of mind if we manage to regain self-confidence and regain self-esteem. For that, the best alternative is to fight for what makes you happy.
To summarize …
Love is one of the best experiences humans can have; however, relationships don’t always end well. Lack of love can therefore be a very painful experience, but if we know how to take advantage of this difficult situation, we can grow as people and be happier. Learning from mistakes is possible, and in fact, we’ve all done it at some point in our lives. If the relationship ended, it was probably to find something better.