Falling in love is such an intense whirlwind of emotions that sometimes people feel like they have no control over everything they do or say and find themselves helpless. This sense of chaos usually extends to your ability to analyze your own feelings for that person.
And the point is, while love is important, that doesn’t mean we’re well prepared to identify it where it happens. This is why it is very useful know the main differences between love and encaprichamiento.
Main differences between encaprichamiento and love
If we have to create a theoretical distinction between encaprichamiento and lover, it can be the following: in encaprichamiento we are not attracted to the person, but to the idea we have formed of this person. based largely on personal inventions and deceptions.
So although in love, although the emotional connection is also fundamentally irrational, it is based on experiences lived together and not on fiction, in encaprichamiento there is a kind of falling in love with a person who does not exist. really that in our head and superficially looking like someone real. It means that the only thing that brings us the person who really exists it is its appearance and its superficial appeal.
However … How to distinguish between encaprichamiento and falling in love from day to day? For this, the theoretical definitions do not help much, given that knowing how to recognize these phenomena in our daily life is complicated, especially when part of our rationality has been diverted by the emotions.
Fortunately, there are discoveries that allow us to find concrete differences between falling in love and encaprichamiento. Let’s see what they are.
1. Eye contact
Something as simple as sustained eye gazing is able to strengthen lasting emotional bonds, such as those inherent in love. That’s why time flies spontaneously make eye contact it is an indicator of the strength of romantic ties. In fact, in types of attraction based simply on the physical, the gaze is more directed towards other areas of the body, especially those that have an erotic charge.
By the way, the strengthening of loving bonds through the act of looking each other in the eyes occurs even between humans and some of the animals they care for, as you can see in this article: “Love can exist. between species? An investigation supports the “yes”.
2. You use the “we” almost as much as the “I”
Love is not only reflected in what we do, but also has an effect on what we say; both in the content of our speech and in the way we express it. This is why it makes sense to focus on if the first person plural is used more than normal when you talk about how you feel about the relationship.
This indicates that we have moved from a totally personal perspective to one in which the shared has taken on importance. We speak a little more from the point of view of the couple, an entity which is more than the sum of two people independent of each other.
3. Your personalities are similar
Contrary to popular culture, the opposite poles are not attracted, Or at least statistically, they don’t tend to do so during long distance relationships. The difficulties associated with a lot of relationships with someone whose habits, customs and behaviors are far from their own wear and tear in relationships.
However, it is not uncommon to fall in love with people who are very different from oneself, as they have an exotic component which, at first glance, arouses interest and curiosity, even a touch of exclusivity for the “rarity” of. the other person.
4. You have linked very few and already fantasies to the relationship
The determining element of encaprichamiento is idealization. Since little is known about the other person, we fill in the knowledge gaps about them with absolutely optimistic fantasies about them. And, although we do not realize it, these fantasies mark the way we perceive the actions of this person; so something that we would find ridiculous if our cousin did, seems adorable to us if someone special did.
In addition, there is evidence that part of the special appeal attributed to other people is simply that “they are new”, we did not know them before and they come at a time when we are predisposed to find a partner. This is closely linked to a psychological phenomenon observed in mammals in general: the Coolidge effect, which seeks to have relationships with new individuals.
5. It feels good to sacrifice yourself for the relationship
In encaprichamiento he is less frequent than predisposition to realize sacrifices by the relation, whereas in the love he is relatively normal in statistical terms. However, it is important to note that it is not about sacrifices for the other person, but for the relationship, The unity that forms the emotional bond that unites these people. Otherwise, it would always be the same person compromising their time, resources and efforts to serve the other, then we would be talking about an asymmetric toxic relationship.