Sometimes starting out with someone and starting an “official” relationship costs less than creating a shared intimacy between lovers. And is that one thing is for two people to see each other as boyfriends, and another is to achieve a degree of true intimate connection.
For example, it’s very easy to go to the movies together, have a good time talking, or fit in well with each other’s family and friends, but open up honestly and even connect physically. through hugs and non-verbal language can sometimes come at a cost.
Here are some keys to ensure that partnership relationships develop a high degree of intimacy and emotional connection.
Increase the degree of intimacy in romantic relationships
To remove the possible barriers that create an unnecessary separation between lovers, it is essential to create an intense intimate connection between the two.
1. Review the imperfections you know about your partner
Love exists because we know how to appreciate the unique and irreplaceable of the other, Its mortality and vulnerability. It may sound strange, but building intimacy in a relationship relies, among other things, on recognizing the imperfections of yourself and the person you love.
Being aware at all times of the human and limited nature of the members of the couple means that the good deeds performed by the other person are not viewed with suspicion, as if they were a strategy for instrumental purposes, such as a robot that follows the program would do. instructions to perform its function. On the other hand, knowing that the expressions of affection and affection are authentic and come from the need to be in the company of the other, they allow to receive and to lower the defenses.
2. Learn to give opportunities
There are people who have been so exposed to cruelty and betrayal that it is difficult for them to trust even their partners, so the degree of intimacy that exists in the relationship is damaged. For example, some caresses can lead to more anxiety than pleasure, because they are performed in delicate areas (stomach, neck, etc.).
In these cases, it is better to “force” yourself to trust the loved one and think that really what generates anxiety, it is not her, but tries to transcend a certain threshold of intimacySomething that at some point in the past gave us bad results and left an emotional imprint on our minds. It is very helpful to begin by exposing yourself to lighter forms of intimacy, and then progress slowly from here.
So, letting the other person take the initiative and show that nothing bad is happening is a great way for our body to get used to not activating the alert state every time. we expose our vulnerabilities.
3. Learn to support, not provide practical advice when needed.
As emotional as they are, relationships are more about affection than counseling and sharing practical information about how things work. In the end, the latter can be achieved by many means, but the couple’s society is unique, and offers the possibility of connecting on such a deep level that it goes beyond simple “data transmission”.
This is why, to generate intimacy in romantic relationships, it is necessary to be clear that emotional support is the best we can offer and that, therefore, it is more useful to listen and empathize than to limit ourselves to turning what we hear into directions and instructions on how the other person should live life.
After all, most of the concerns and issues discussed in the intimate context of the relationship are not the result of a lack of information (in which case solving it wouldn’t be that difficult) but of more related aspects. their own fears, situations that generate anxiety, etc.
4. Encourage the emergence of these conversations
Through the word it is also possible to build intimacy. Of course, at first it is better not to do it abruptly and very directly.
You can start by telling a very personal story about your past so that your partner can delve into that story and the narration begins to remind him of certain experiences in his life. That way, by starting with a story that resonates emotionally in both parts of the relationship, it’s easier to strike up a spontaneous conversation about one’s own experiences and intimate experiences, which normally don’t come to light.
5. Don’t judge or trivialize
This may sound very obvious, but in practice some people tend to use sarcasm and sour humor as a mechanism to trivialize personal experience stories and thus interrupt that conversation and change the subject (to start talking about something. something more comfortable and less compromising). Avoid that, and when you notice the next thing you’re going to say goes in that line, give a warning. Prevent such strategies Knowing them ahead of time is a great way to get intimate conversations flowing.