Couples therapy is more than the conversations that take place during sessions with the psychologist. In fact, much of the progress and progress has to do with the activities that the couple performs alone, based on the ideas and practices carried out in the presence of the therapist.
Engaging in this process of strengthening the bond of love involves carrying out certain habits and exercises in daily life, so that the change for the better extends to all areas of coexistence and not just what happens. passes in the consultation of psychology.
But … what are these actions in which the two members of the couple must get involved in their daily life? here we will see a summary of the typical activities of a couples therapy process, to get to know them better.
Usual activities in couple therapy
These are some of the habits and activities that are encouraged to practice in couples therapy, both in the sessions themselves and, most importantly, between them, during the hours of being together to accomplish daily actions.
This is an approach to what is usually common in such a process, but it should be borne in mind that each case is unique and that psychologists always adapt our intervention proposals according to the unique characteristics of each. person, relationship and context in which the two people live.
1. Bring a balance sheet of time spent together
Conscious effort is needed to spend time together; but it has to be quality time, in which everyone can focus on the other person without having their minds on anything else. For that you need take control of when it’s time to do what, So that in case of problems or unforeseen circumstances, it is possible to correct this schedule and create another time to be with the other person.
It’s not about constantly timing common time, but rather planning and making sure that during the week there are times when it is possible to be together.
Outraged, it is recommended that these moments together have a variety of situations and experiences, Since it allows you to be in touch with all facets of the other person and of yourself in the context of the couple. For example, if all of these moments are happening in the evening and while being at home, we will see a very limited set of actions and attitudes, which leads us to have a simplistic, two-dimensional view of the relationship. In couples therapy, different techniques and strategies are taught so that it is easy to better control time and to avoid the calendar causing us to drag on.
2. Use discussion management guidelines
It would be unrealistic to expect that, thanks to couples therapy, the discussions between the two would disappear. The key is how to handle them properly.
This is why the psychologists we treat in pairs train them in a series of conflict management activities, so that they do not lead to fierce confrontations or to show that nothing is happening (which is also or more harmful than intense discussion). It is about being able to express oneself, to reach a consensus on the problems to be addressed and to reach compromises to solve them.
3. Self-knowledge activities
Much of the progress we have made in couples therapy depends on how we manage to get our minds in order: our opinions, interests and concerns, our values, etc. For that, psychologists teach many patients how to perform daily self-knowledge activities. Having this information about yourself allows you to find a better match between the two.
4. Training in non-verbal language and emotional expression
Often times part of the problem that leads people to couples therapy is that there are blockages in the way we communicate and express ourselves. For example, there are couples in which a lot of trust has been lost and the thought of being close and even vulnerable creates discomfort, Key elements of an emotional and intimate relationship. In this sense, therapy is tailored so that both can learn or relearn those patterns of interaction that go beyond words.
5. Make weekly reviews
About once a week it is recommended to have a chat on areas where progress has been noticed, problems added or points where no progress has been detected at this time, Both in oneself and in the other person. In doing so, you need to follow a series of guidelines to make this conversation productive, not an ego struggle.
For example, always do it at the same time and if it can be in the same place (to create some sort of protocol), and explain what one feels and observed in the most transparent and descriptive way possible. that is, not to generate emotional reactions in the other (which could also lead to accusations and reproaches), but to let him know how we feel.
6. Development of task sharing skills
These activities, so typical of couples therapy, have part of the practice of negotiation, and part of the use of the principles of emotional intelligence, so that it is consistent with the following idea: conflicts of interest are not the same as conflicts.
Effective work-sharing routines strike a balance between the two members of the couple, so that no one is more privileged or benefited than the other. This is especially important in couples with children.
Are you interested in couples therapy?
If you are considering seeking help from a psychology center to strengthen your emotional bond or overcome a courtship or marriage crisis, contact us. Fr Advanced psychologists we have a two-decade professional career helping all types of people, and we have performed both individual therapy to address forms of discomfort that affect people separately and couples therapy to work on type issues. relational. You can rely on us at our facilities located in Madrid or use the video call online therapy format. On this page you will find more information about us.
- Atkinson, BJ (2005). Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances in Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships. WW Norton & Co.
- Buss, DM; Haselton, M. (2005). The evolution of jealousy. Trends in cognitive science. 9 (11): pages 506 to 507.
- Campuzo Montoya, M. (2002). Human couple: their psychology, their conflicts, their treatment. Mexico: AMPAG.
- Dattilio, FM and Padesky, CA (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.