Excessive stress is always a trigger for psychological problems, but the consequences of these vary depending on the characteristics of each person and the context in which they live.
One of the areas in which these alterations are most visible is that of living as a couple; the build-up of stress can act like a real time bomb that blows up the core consensus and even, if you have the time, the love bond itself.
In this article we will see a summary about common sources of partner problems resulting from excessive stress, As well as some possible solutions for what to do.
How does the relationship affect the buildup of stress?
Although each case is unique, it is usually possible to find a number of problems in the couple’s cohabitation, and even the emotional relationship itself, which have a large part of their causes in the excess of stress or stress. poor management of it.
This is the forms of discomfort that arise on a daily basis and which gradually wane through dating or marriage until, many times, you get to a point where you need to end the relationship or go to couples therapy.
These are the main sources of partner problems due to stress.
1. Excessive workload
Workload is clearly one of the most common causes of excessive stress.
Unfortunately, this is an area that remains beyond the reach of what can be fully solved as a couple, there are better and worse ways to solve this problem together.
2. Insecurity and fear of losing the partner
It is one of the most frequent causes of problems in the couple, especially among young people. Feeling like you have to give your best is a stress bomb.
3. Fears related to sexuality
The field of intimate and sex life continues to be subject to fears and taboo subjects that not everyone is willing to discuss even with their partner. this it generates suspicion, fear and the feeling that the other person keeps as many secrets as oneself.
4. Poor communication
Communication problems can cause stress relatively frequently, as they give rise to misunderstandings that need to be resolved at inconvenient times. They are experienced as an “additional” and totally unnecessary burden.
5. Distribution of household chores
The feeling that the division of household chores is unfair contributes to the accumulation of stress, due among other things to these efforts are seen as something arbitrary, Which should not exist with a better distribution of responsibilities.
6. Family disagreements
Conflicts with the family too they are a major source of stress which “seeps” into the couple’s realm. Tense Christmas dinners, problems rooted for many years, people in the family with whom contact is avoided, etc.
What to do?
Here are some basic tips on how to best deal with this type of problem.
1. Detect the source of stress
It is clear that it is impossible to identify every single thing that causes us stress in our daily life, but it is possible to recognize which ones affect us the most.
For that, take the time to talk specifically about the source of this psychological pressure, To establish a kind of diagnosis of the situation you are going through.
Do it from an attitude of concord in which it is clear that the other is not being judged, otherwise it will be impossible to deal with the matter honestly.
You have to express how the stress affects you on its own and how the other person behaves, for better or for worse, but without complaints.
2. Establish new commitments
It is important that you set specific goals and objectives for yourself as much as possible to improve the situation you find yourself in.
The more a goal is defined, the more complicated it will be to ignore the commitment to achieve it. You must define both the specific measures to be taken and the timeframe within which they must be applied to your coexistence. If possible, pick a group of one, two or three new habits and literally add them to your schedule, noting the times you spend with them.
3. Talk regularly about your impressions and progress
Talking regularly about how you are dealing with this challenge of managing stress better helps you stay involved in this process and also allows you to correct mistakes in a timely manner.
4. If the problems don’t stop, move on to couples therapy.
Couples therapy is a context in which it is possible to intervene in love problems and coexistence with professional support, something that totally changes the situation by having an external and objective figure, as well as training in emotional management techniques and good habits of communication and expression of feelings.
Are you looking for help in dealing with your partner’s problems?
If you think you are in a relationship that is going through times of crisis due to stress or any other aspect that makes the relationship difficult, you can contact our team of psychotherapists.
Fr Advanced psychologists we have a team with two decades of experience providing professional support to couples and people with emotional, communication or relationship issues in general. We are currently assisting both in person at our Madrid center and via online video call therapy. You can see more information about our services on this page.
- Biscotti, O. (2006). Couples therapy: a systemic view. Buenos Aires: Lumen.
- Harvey, JH, Ormarzu, J. (1997). Break the close relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1: pages 223 to 239.
- Morgan, JP (1991). What is codependency? Journal of Clinical Psychology, 47 (5): pages 720-729.
- Serrano, G. and Carreño, M. (1993). Sternberg’s theory of love. Empirical analysis. Psicothema, 5 (Suppl.): P. 151-167.
- Sternberg, RJ (1987). Like vs love: a comparative assessment of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102 (3): pages 331-345.