Couples therapy is an area of work that lends itself to many misconceptions, for a variety of reasons. On the one hand, series, films and audiovisual media in general have come to caricature this discipline to the point of making it unrecognizable. On the other hand, it is often confusing for couples to turn to experts who, in theory, specialize in mental health.
That is why in this article we are going to go over some the most important myths about couples therapy, By indicating why some ideas on this subject are inaccurate or directly wrong.
The 6 most important myths about couples therapy
These are the most common misconceptions about couples therapy
1. The psychologist resolves disputes
The task of psychologists who offer couples therapy is not to resolve discussions or conflicts in general, but to help resolve the behavioral dynamics that make one tend to discuss frequently (if any of the reasons for resorting to therapy is as follows).
2. Only emotionally unstable people go to couples therapy
it is a simplification that does not correspond at all to reality. While it is true that people who have marked neuroticism are more likely to have problems in their emotional relationships (statistically), that doesn’t mean that there aren’t many other reasons for reasons. may present for couples therapy.
3. The psychologist changes the personality of those who do not adapt to the couple
Personality is a set of very stable psychological traits that define the way people are.
While this changes a bit over the course of a lifetime, and in some cases can even change a bit, this is not the goal of couples therapy, which is it focuses on much more specific and easily defined objectives so that they can give rise to agreements and commitments easy to monitor (to see if the goals are being met or not).
4. In therapy, there is a catharsis that resolves the conflict
The goal of couples therapy is not to generate situations where clients reach a point where they express their repressed emotions and thoughts with the maximum intensity and honesty so that the problem the couple is going through is resolved by a few minutes, once both. people raised overweight.
While honesty is essential for couples therapy to work well, just expressing feelings has nothing to solve. To improve the health of the relationship, it is necessary to go through other cases, among which we find the rediscovery of common values and projects, and to build a new commitment which will henceforth structure the relationship.
5. Couples therapy is about arguing
Another of the most widely heard couples therapy myths is that it is a space focused on the act of arguing, fighting with each other to see who is right. It is true that in these sessions it is not uncommon for lively discussions to take place, however just facing each other doesn’t solve anythingAnd while psychologists who are experts in couple therapy maintain a neutral role as professionals, they are not there to act as referees in a boxing match.
The discussions are a consequence of the treatment of personal and sometimes delicate questions throughout these sessions, and in any case of the logic of withdrawing reason from the other in order to win a symbolic battle. not only does it not help, but it poses obstacles to the progress of therapy.
6. Breakup Means Failure of Couples Therapy
Thinking that the purpose of couples therapy is to avoid a breakup is not to fully understand the nature of emotional relationships, because the truth is that sometimes the best solution is to end the court or the marriage; in fact, there are those who go to therapy knowing they want to break up, And only to please the other person.
The goal of couples therapy is to continue the relationship in the best possible way, either to make it last or to end it in the best possible conditions.
Also, as with everything, there are always some risks that things will not go well and couples therapy can fail whether or not there is a breakup. For example, if the professional does not know how to create a climate of trust in which a married couple feels that they can express themselves without fear of being disapproved.
Are you looking for couples therapy services?
If you live in the Madrid area and would like to undergo couples therapy, we invite you to contact our team of psychologists at the UPAD Psychology and Coaching Center, located in Argüelles. Here you will find a professionals with experience in intervention in the event of a marital crisis or courtship like constant arguments, jealousy, boredom in the past in the company of the other, lack of confidence due to infidelity, etc.
- Bermúdez, C., Brik, E. (2010). Systemic family therapy. Madrid, Spain: Synthesis.
- Bustamante, J. (2016). Sexuality and couple therapy: the couple from a global approach. Madrid, Spain: UNED.
- Christensen A., Atkins DC, Baucom B., Yi J. (2010). Marital status and satisfaction five years after a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional behavioral couples therapy to integration. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78 (2): p. 225 – 235.
- Christensen, A., Atkins, DC, Yi, J., Baucom, DH and George, WH (2006). Couple and individual adjustment for 2 years after a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional behavioral couple therapy with integrative. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 74 (6): pages 1180 to 1191.