7 questions to know if you agree with your partner

Relationships are not always easy, And in many cases, the stages in which they don’t have a good time are oddly common. It should not be forgotten that, as in any interpersonal relationship, each member of the couple has their own view of the world, their tastes, their needs and even their insecurities.

To try to make this match between the members of a couple optimal, dialogue is essential. Communication is one of the basic pillars of a relationship because dialogue is what keeps the life project together that two lovers begin. When living with others, you should always negotiate, give in, and make deals, and relationships are no exception.

Social skills, the key to the relationship

Many times we think that true love magically fits, that when two people love each other things are always going in their favor because the power of love can with everything. It might suit a Hollywood movie script, but in real life, for a couple to work, both lovers have to do their part.

Over time, we learn that it takes a range of interpersonal skills to be successful in love, such as communication, empathy, active listening, assertiveness, respect or patience … In couple relationships conflicts can arise at any timeThe key is how to solve them.

Questions to see if you agree with your partner

Believing that there will be no ups and downs in a relationship is an irrational belief, and the attitude with which one faces difficulties often determines whether or not they are successful. The important thing is to manage the situation so that it does not get out of hand, because as conflicts progress, it costs more to get back to where you started.

The first step is therefore to detect that things are not going well. If you have a partner and you are in a difficult situation, you might be wondering … how do you know if a couple is going through a crisis? Below are a number of questions that will help you think about your situation.

1. Are there any hard feelings?

Love is a magical and intense feeling for good and bad things. Being in love is one of the most amazing experiences a human can have, but the emotional pain we feel when things don’t go well in our love affair is very deep and penetrating.

Conflicts with our lover hurt us more than confrontations with other people (eg, a friend) and cause us to react much stronger and more passionately.

So it’s easy to get offended when things don’t go the way you want and discomfort can cause tremendous resentment when the problems are not solved. If there are resentments towards your partner better than the solutions as soon as possible; otherwise, the problem may get bigger and bigger and the tension may be so great that the relationship will eventually break down.

2. Do you negotiate in conflicts?

Communication problems are one of the most common reasons for conflict between lovers. The quality of communication determines the future of a relationship, which is why you need to listen to the other person and be assertive, especially in difficult times. Conflicts can arise anytime, as we all have our own needs and our own space within a relationship.

Knowing how to empathize with the other person, pay attention to their opinion and negotiate avoids many problematic situations and helps prevent the relationship from becoming toxic. If you realize that one of you is forcing your opinion, not listening to each other, or negotiating important issues, it may be time to work it out.

3. Do you agree on the important things?

You don’t have to always share the same viewsBut for the important things (like common goals and ambitions), you need to generally agree.

Each member of the couple has an individual value scale, but as the relationship grows stronger, it is necessary to build a common value scale. This is fundamental to having a life plan together, which helps you take the same course and gives the relationship a sense of transcendence.

4. Does he support you in difficult times?

People are not perfect and neither are couples. But if the relationship is going through a difficult time due to difficult life circumstances, for example, work or personal issues, it is always better to stay together than to put everyone aside.

Do you feel that your partner is there for you and supports you through difficult times? How does he behave with you when you are alone? Think about these questions it can make you see if your partner is engaged in the relationship and with you.

5. Do intimate relationships work?

Intimate moments with the couple play a very important role in the unity and stability of the couple and influence the emotional health of their members. Hugs, kisses, love shows, and sex make the members of the relationship feel a unique connection. But over time, it is possible that the intensity of sexual contact decreases and the frequency with which monotony can be achieved, which can cause serious problems for the proper functioning of the couple.

When the passion starts to wane, it’s important look for mechanisms that can rekindle passion in the sexual domain, otherwise the harmony in intimate relationships and in the expression of affectivity is affected. If this happens, the situation should be reversed as soon as possible.

If you spend time with your partner and notice that the frequency of intimate relations is not the same as at the beginning of the relationship, this is normal, but if you perceive that there are sexual difficulties and as sex is no longer an intimate experience that connects you deeply, you may be having a bad time. Attending couples therapy can help reestablish this bond and may give you a chance to overcome this situation.

6. Are you planning to cheat on your partner?

Without a doubt, one of the core values ​​for building a stable romantic relationship and marriage is loyalty. In fact, one of the most common reasons a couple attends psychotherapy sessions is to overcome this act considered treason and disloyalty.

Monotony or communication problems are often the cause of infidelity, even if the unfaithful person, to avoid feeling bad, may blame their partner for having reached this situation. While it is true that it is often the fault of both, the person who committed the infidelity has made the decision to do so.

Surely he could have resorted to other options, for example, talking confidently to his partner about what he thought was not working in the relationship. Whatever the cause, if you are also in this situation and think you are unfaithful, there is something about the relationship that is failing.

7. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?

Maybe your relationship is going through a difficult time and you have an immense desire to move away from that relationship as it is affecting your daily life and you have ceased to be the person you were. Just like the gap between you and your partner is so big that you don’t want to follow them anymore.

However, there may be times when despite the conflicts that have arisen in your relationship, you know deep down that your partner has a good heart and that it is worth fighting for those who bring you together, which is a lot. In this case, you should know that partner problems can be solved with the help of a psychologistAnd to follow couples therapy, you do not need to suffer from a mental disorder, because the therapeutic relationship in this specialty does not turn not around the individual, but the relationship.

Couples therapy: when to go?

Couples therapy is a beneficial alternative for the romantic relationship to regain its stability, communication problems are resolved and both members of the couple feel happy again.

In most of the cases it is possible to get out of the negative spiral into which the relationship has fallen and strengthen the emotional bonds or reactivate them. But … how do you know when the time is right for couples therapy? Some indicators for attending therapy sessions for couples are:

  • There are communication problems
  • Satisfaction in the relationship decreases
  • There is a one-off crisis situation
  • There are problems in intimate relationships
  • There is indecision about future plans
  • There is a distance with the couple
  • There was infidelity
  • There are issues of trust and jealousy

Mensalus Institute: psychological assistance in couple and sexuality problems

The Mensalus Institute is a psychology center in Barcelona formed by a team of psychologists highly specialized in couple therapy. If you feel identified or identified with the lines above, this clinic can offer solutions and help you with any difficulties your relationship is going through.

Couples therapy is a positive resource for individual and couple growth. Mensalus it can help you learn new ways to relate with your partner and can provide tools to overcome difficulties in relationships and cohabitation, conflicts between partners and sexual problems (lack of desire or arousal, difficulty reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, etc. .).

This center offers face-to-face therapy and online therapy. For more information, click here.

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