Emotional addiction is a psychological disorder that involves an obsessive need to keep someone by our side. Many times that person is the couple themselves in a courtship or wedding, which encourages this emotional bond to become more and more harmful and limiting.
This phenomenon cancels out the person who suffers from it and has a direct impact on all aspects of his life, both emotionally and relational, family and even professional. And in this sense, there are a number of harmful beliefs that reinforce this dynamic of dependency in relationships; let’s see what they are.
What are the beliefs associated with emotional dependence in couples?
There are several psychological elements that can lead to emotional dependence, and one of the most important is the dysfunctional beliefs that the person develops who are dependent on the other. Let’s see which are the most common.
1. To be alone
People with emotional dependence they often assume that being single equals failing in life, which is why they are terrified that their relationship will end.
This irrational fear of being left alone is one of the most common signs of emotional addiction, and comes with the belief that once we’re alone, no one else will want us.
Likewise, separation from the partner, whether temporary or long-lasting, also generates a feeling of discomfort in the person and is often accompanied by cases of anxiety, stress or depression.
2. Delegate all decision-making
Another of the most common beliefs about emotional addiction is believe that the couple will always make better decisions than us in any situation and that is why he refrains from taking part in any responsibility, activity or opinion on his own initiative.
This way of thinking is totally irrational, since it consists in believing that the other is the best at the task of “making decisions” in general, regardless of the level of information or knowledge he may have about. the subject in question. That is, this belief confuses decision making with a skill that can be applied to any situation and is not dependent on other skills or knowledge.
3. Fear of abandonment
To people with emotional dependence too fear of being abandoned by their partner is very common, even if the person is not really happy in the current relationship that is, be aware that you are in a relationship with no future.
This irrational fear of abandonment generates toxic and unequal relational dynamics in which the person is afraid of making a mistake, always for fear of being abandoned.
4. The conviction that we must “compensate” for our lack of attractiveness
There are many beliefs that affect the self-esteem of people with emotional addiction, and among the most common we can find the idea that we must be very actively involved in the satisfaction of others to compensate for our lack of attractiveness.
Emotional dependence is related to a very negative view of oneself, one that does not normally coincide with reality and increases over time as the dysfunctional relationship reinforces these limiting beliefs.
5. Idealize the other person
As noted, emotional dependence is often associated with a loss of touch with reality and a belief in a series of illusory thoughts.
It is therefore common to believe that his partner is a perfect person without any flaws, that he knows everything even if he is special. Likewise, its flaws tend to be minimized and these negative or toxic behaviors are overlooked.
6. Believe that happiness is in the other
People with an emotional addiction often assume that they will not be happy if they are not with their partner. it generates a lot of long-term emotional discomfort.
Again, this phenomenon has very negative psychological implications for the person, because by tying our own happiness outside of ourselves we are constantly worried and constantly afraid of being abandoned.
7. The belief that disagreement is terrible
Another classic sign of emotional dependence is the experience of great embarrassment and a strong discomfort with discussions or disagreements with the partner.
This is why, in the long run, the emotional addict ends up avoiding any kind of conflict and chooses to give reason in everything to his partner.
Submission to the other partner in emotional dependency is such that the person is generally afraid to give their own opinion so as not to disturb their partner.
Likewise, it is common to accede to any lawsuit the couple may have and are more inclined to tolerate manipulation of all kinds, as well as physical or psychological abuse in the most serious cases.
8. Need to love
People who are emotionally dependent on their partner tend to do their best to please the other person because don’t assume that this person can be by your side because of a shared history and everything they’ve been through together, as well as for the qualities of self which they loved and led to establish this court or this marriage.
This often causes the dependent person to constantly change their mind and sometimes to adapt their personality to the interlocutor in order to please the other person.
Thus, another essential characteristic of emotional dependence is the complete renunciation of one’s own preferences, opinions, dreams or aspirations, as well as one’s relationships with one’s own friends or family.
This is because the dependent person generally considers that their preferences have no value and what really matters is what they think their partner wants.
Are you looking for psychological support?
Emotional addiction should be treated as soon as possible by a professional psychologist, as it can over time dramatically erode a person’s emotional well-being and cause a real mental health problem on many levels.
Whether in individual psychotherapy or couples therapy, there are effective forms of intervention to respond to this type of problem. If you are interested in having psychological support for such cases, I invite you to contact me.