Romantic relationships can become a roller coaster of emotions. Moments of euphoria can be followed in a short time, from bad seasons to couple crises.
This is why sometimes something that we might call “broken heart syndrome” appears. Of course, it is not a disease, but a set of symptoms that go hand in hand with marked emotional pain which, on the other hand, is not so uncommon throughout life and is experienced by many people at one time or another.
However, just because broken heart syndrome is not a disease does not mean that we should give up trying to mitigate its effects; it is perfectly legitimate to want to be well and to save ourselves a lot of suffering. To do this, we have to start with a definition.
What is broken heart syndrome?
The broken heart syndrome is the set of psychological states and processes through which the discomfort generated by a disappointment in love or a breakup is expressed.
This can appear, for example, in cases of unrequited love, after becoming aware of an infidelity, or after discovering that the person for whom we felt something is not what we initially believed. .
In short, broken heart syndrome is made up of emotional and physiological (such as anxiety and stress), cognitive (such as recurring thoughts), and behavioral (such as the urge to physically reconnect with that person). or some tics). by anxiety).
How to feel good again after a disappointment
As always, when one intervenes on the psychological problem, there are more specific aspects which must be studied on a case-by-case basis and others which are more general. The first, in case the discomfort is very intense and persistent, it would be useful to tackle it with the help of psychotherapy, but in many other cases it is possible to focus on some basic rules so that the emotional pain decreases more effectively. Thanks to strategies, he is in charge of implementing himself.
Let’s take a look at some of the possible situations in which broken heart syndrome can appear.
1. The unilateral rupture
In cases where our partner has unilaterally ended the relationship, there are two things that cause discomfort: not enjoying the partner’s company in the usual way and, at the same time, indecision about what needs to be done.
As far as the latter are concerned, in the medium and long term, it is best for everyone to assume for a fact that the relationship is over and that it is not up to us to restore the links from before. Believe that we can bring the other person back and that everything is going as in the best of cases not only is it unreasonable; it’s having a possessive view of the other person.
Therefore, in this scenario, our efforts should be focused on feeling good about yourself again beyond whether or not we are in a relationship. You may find this article helpful:
2. Infidelity and cognitive dissonance
Both in cases where the other person has committed an infidelity (understood as a transgression of the fundamental covenants on which the relationship is built) and in which a facet of the other is discovered that we did not know and that we reject , the idea is similar: there is new information that does not match our beliefs about what we thought was related.
This phenomenon of “out of fit” between ideas is called cognitive dissonance and can lead to a lot of anxiety.
In these cases, we need to reflect on the belief system on which our idea of the relationship is based and see if what we now know is irreconcilable with our feelings. To do this, for example, we can explore alternative explanations of what is happening, some that serve to arrive at a conclusion opposite to the one we hold at the beginning.
Then, we judge which of the explanations is the most reasonable and best describes the reality, in a simpler way and without leaving as many heads to tie. This belief system, new or not, will be best suited to integrate this new information and act on it.
3. Unrequited love
Broken heart syndrome can also appear when there wasn’t even a royal couple relationship.
In these cases it is important focus on preventing irrational and unfounded beliefs they undermine our self-esteem, which can happen because, by losing sight of a possible future scenario that had us excited, we may perceive it as a personal loss, which speaks of the loss of ourselves for “failing”.
We need to look at what happened and how our expectations caused qe to gradually start living in a make-believe world in which the relationship had already started to exist (long before it did in the real world).
Likewise, we must ask ourselves why our self-esteem should not be affected if a stable relationship is not established. with that particular person; after all, many people live perfectly without even knowing it or knowing it by sight; no one is predestined to know a particular person and not the others.