Couple crisis due to routine problems: 5 possible causes

Often times, partner crises don’t come as the result of an event that suddenly reveals that there is something about the relationship that is wrong.

While cases of infidelity or particularly harsh arguments give rise to cases of break-up that are remembered primarily for their dramatic burden, the truth is that in most cases marital or courtship issues go through a gradual process, small dysfunctions whose effect accumulates over the weeks.

This set of warning signs is usually confined to the realm of coexistence routines, those seemingly mundane and frequent situations that arise with daily treatment inside and outside the home.

In this article we will see a summary of the main routine problems that can trigger a partner crisis, And what they imply.

    Common causes of partner crisis due to dysfunctional routines

    Etas are some of the most common causes of couple seizures that result from dysfunctional cohabitation routines, which produce a faulty and unsatisfying environment.

    1. Lack of variety in leisure plans

    It is common for one of the people involved in the relationship to have a greater preference than the other for having new experiences from time to time.

    It’s okay if there is constant dialogue about how they should spend time together, but in some cases such asymmetries in the relationship give way to a problem that builds up. And when something is not said one implicitly supposes that the routine is validated, and that becomes the option “by default”What is taken for granted and should be done unless someone says otherwise. And many times, there is a certain fear of proposing to break with the routine, either for fear of having to face the problem of what to do with free time, or for fear of revealing that what is done as a couple for months has become a bit boring.

    2. Asymmetries in the distribution of tasks

    In many relationships, there is someone who feels more uncomfortable if they see tasks that need to be done and who is responsible for carrying them out. Over time, that makes it more of a workload, and that inequality is normalized by the simple fact that it’s always been there (while the period of cohabitation has lasted). Opening up the melon to reassign responsibilities becomes a source of concern, And that is why there are some people who prefer to “leave it for another day”.

      3. Taboos in the sexual sphere

      It’s no secret that sex is an almost inexhaustible source of taboos, even today. For many couples, this is something that is hardly talked about. And of course, where communication fails, there is a breeding ground for frustrations, insecurities, and even boredom.

      4. Tendency not to focus the discussions resolutely

      Many couples approach discussions as an ego fight, a battleground in which not everything that matters is below the other. This makes the most important part of this type of conflict of wills overshadowed by feelings of anger., And that the act of argumentation ends when one of the parties has already had enough and does not want to continue to expose the reproaches, and not when a solution or an agreement has been found.

      5. Lack of quality time for two

      Finally, another element of the routine that lends itself best to creating a partner crisis is the lack of time together. Often this is due to poor management of work time, and sometimes just the habit of being in different rooms for solitary leisure activities.

      Are you looking for professional psychological help?

      If you are going through a rough patch due to relationship or emotional management issues and are looking for professional help to get through the situation, contact me.

      I am a psychologist with many years of experience in solving emotional, behavioral or communicative dysfunctions, and I base my intervention model on cognitive-behavioral psychology. I attend both in person my consultation in Madrid and through the online format with video call sessions. On this page you will find my contact details and more information on how I work.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Atkinson, BJ (2005). Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances in Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships. WW Norton & Co.
      • Campuzo Montoya, M. (2002). Human couple: their psychology, their conflicts, their treatment. Mexico: AMPAG.
      • Christensen, A .; Atkins DC; Baucom B .; Yi J. (2010). Marital status and satisfaction five years after a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional behavioral couples therapy to integration. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 78 (2): p. 225 – 235.
      • Dattilio, FM and Padesky, CA (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
      • Sternberg, RJ (1987). Like vs love: a comparative assessment of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102 (3): pages 331-345.

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