Couples with age difference, are there any risks?

That the statement “love does not understand age” has a very tempting touch of romanticism does not mean that it can be partly true and partly misleading. While neither love nor passion is subordinate to a person’s age, they may influence the relationship in some way.

There are many elements that make up and influence a relationship, and couples with a large age difference may face a number of different risks to those of other types of couples.

    Is age an obstacle to love?

    There are many more couples with a big age difference than we usually realize, as if at a certain point in life the age difference goes more unnoticed.

    Today, despite the evolution of beliefs and prejudices, there are still in today’s society a number of conventions that they tend to judge these couples negatively, especially within their own family the group of friends.

    It seems that if this age difference is perceived in couples outside the person, it is better tolerated than if it is touched closely. Either with a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister or a very close friend.

    However, despite these social restrictions, Is the age difference between the members of a couple a real disadvantage for their relationship? According to a study published by the American publication The Atlantic, couples with an age difference of 5 years or more were 18% more likely to end up separating.

    Despite these data, there are many factors that can influence whether or not a relationship develops well, with only one age being one of them. The social context, shared experiences, education and the values ​​received by the two members they will play a very important role in strengthening a couple bond with a lot of age difference.

    Therefore, age as a number in itself is not as important as the context in which each of the two members was raised and lived, what ideology they have, or what values ​​or thoughts they hold in certain areas; and these differences can be present in all types of couples, regardless of their age.

    Finally, although age is associated with a number of personal characteristics that can be a risk factor for the relationship, a relationship should be based on many other elements such as sexual complicity, complementary personalities and values ​​and , above all, a common life project.

      Risks in a couple with age difference

      As we mentioned earlier, age alone shouldn’t be a barrier to maintaining a relationship. However, as in couples from very different cultures, a very disparate age between the two members of the couple can lead to a number of external risk factors which indicate the chances of going through a conflict within the relationship.

      1. Family opposition

      It is very common in couples with a large age difference that families and even the closest circle of friends don’t accept their connection to a much younger or much older couple.

      In these cases, the goal of each member of the couple will be to talk to their loved ones, explain the situation and make them change their way of seeing the relationship, so that they can normalize the situation. Otherwise, it can be a real source of anxiety for both of them, as they will not be able to share time together with the two and may find themselves in the situation of having to choose between your partner or your family.

      2. Differentiated social context

      Although it can happen in any type of couple, it is common that if there is a big difference in age everyone’s social context is very different and sometimes almost incompatible.

      Friends circles and the type of environments you frequent can vary widely between ages 20 and 40, so if you don’t evenly distribute the time you spend with friends or your hobbies, shared in a balanced way, it can. lead to a long-term conflict within the couple, because one of them may think that he is sacrificing his hobbies or his friends.

      In the event that this occurs, showing a genuine interest in the other’s tastes and hobbies, even if these are relatively different from our own, will be an essential attitude to be able to compensate for these dissimilarities.

      A keen interest in the other’s problems, even if, at his age, these problems “are quite insufficient” in the current life experience, will be essential, but without falling into the self-delusion of believing that they can be experienced. their own problems which can only be experienced with emotion when age and circumstances accompany it.

      3. Differences in performance or sexual dynamics

      While there are currently hundreds of steps you can take to maintain a satisfying sex life, it’s true that sexuality evolves and changes with age.

      For example, a man who is much older than his sexual partner may need more stimulation time and may have a slightly lower performance, so if this fact is not treated in the right way it can generate feelings. of frustration or anguish in him.

      However, a good understanding and an interest in sexually satisfying the couple will be of great help in avoiding possible complications. Likewise, with the help of sex therapy, these couples can enjoy an absolutely satisfying sex life.

      As we clarified above, these risk factors are external to the couple, so if the couple has a strong and healthy relationship and the rest of the elements of the relationship are relatively intact, none of the above factors should. pose a real problem.

      4. Different short-term goals

      Age is usually associated with different life goals, and sometimes these don’t match up. For example, the older person may have a greater interest in having children or establishing the relationship, while the younger person tends to relate more liberally, without as many connections. Managing these types of asymmetries is essential.

      Is it the same for men as it is for women?

      Although couples with a large age difference are generally subject to the judgment of the society or the context around them, these moral or value judgments will not be the same if the woman is much older than if the man is.

      Differences in prejudice between men and women still emerge in most areas of daily life, and the relationships were not to be less. As a general rule, unions in which the woman is considerably older than the man tend to generate rejection from society. Whereas if a middle aged man marries a much younger woman, it is more socially acceptable and even a cause of admiration for him.

      This fact can also be a risk factor when maintaining a relationship, as the pressure that society puts on women can make them think better, break up or deny themselves an emotional and sexual relationship with a couple much more. young than she.

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