Digital infidelity: a new hotbed of marital conflict

Beyond the typical alarmism that emerges whenever a new technological advancement becomes popular, it is reasonable to think that, just as the use of smartphones and tablets increasingly influences our communication habits, it exposes us also to new risks and problems.

The so-called FOMO syndrome, for example, is an example of this: it scares us to stay “disconnected” from the network for a few hours, so we could get lost.

Something similar is happening with the impact of the internet on love and relationships.

On the one hand, it makes us fantasize about the idea that at any time, from the comfort of home or work, we could initiate emotional or sexual relationships, even with relative anonymity. On the other hand, it makes us fear the possibility of wasting time not knowing people through the network of networks … and one of the results of this is digital infidelity. It is not for nothing that it is more and more common that social networks like Facebook generate more and more divorces and breakups.

    Digital infidelity as a new temptation

    Traditionally, one of the great pillars of monogamous relationships has been to limit the access of each member of the couple to meetings with people of the opposite sex. It was common to go to social events as a couple, and a good excuse was needed to converse on your own with people who could be seen as “competition.”

    Today, this rigidity no longer exists in most Western countries, but several studies show that this is not what increased the frequency of infidelities, but constant internet access.

    Most people who ended up having an affair outside of their relationship by meeting people online did not start chatting with other people with the intention of being unfaithful. What usually happens is that these types of messages and chat sessions are considered a safe thing, an environment where everything is under control and you can “cut yourself off” at any time.

      A feeling of unreality

      Many people don’t believe that starting a conversation to bond with others is an act of infidelity, but a game or a sham. However, the facts that often occur below belies this perspective. The ability to connect at any time with colleagues, friends or even strangers and the perception of the absence of risk of these practices are ingredients for which many people fall into temptation.

      This type of accessibility is a trap that acts through a false sense of security: believing that what is happening on the Internet is not a reality simply because it is seen on a screen. That is, talking to someone in a way that would break the rules of marriage or dating is kind of fiction because it’s just writing words on a monitor. Something that is hard to imagine that negatively impacts the relationship and at the same time is fun or uplifting.

      On the other hand, it is such an insignificant action (at least it seems, at least) that it is easy to find a justification for it. For example, monotony and boredom, especially in the case of long-distance relationships in which there is little contact with the lover, or sexual dissatisfaction with her. These elements can be considered as an offense to compensate with something as simple as talking to other people on the internet.

      In this kind of reasoning, digital infidelity can even be seen as something that saves the marriage or makes the relationship more stable and healthy. It doesn’t even become a minor evil, but a fully integrated piece in this yard.

        What can be done to prevent it?

        When it comes to digital infidelity, the best that can be done is to avoid the risks and start by assuming that certain types of internet contact also violate the agreed upon rules of the relationship based on monogamy. It is not for nothing that it is a practice that actively and passively hides itself from the other person.

        Thus, it is important to begin to avoid ambiguous situations which at the same time expose us to other risks that have nothing to do with the romantic, such as the practice of accept friendship request from all kinds of strangers.

        On the other hand, it is important to keep in mind certain rules of behavior in situations that may give way to digital infidelity, such as the detection of certain patterns of behavior in the responses of the person to whom one is given. talk, and get to the root type of conversation.

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