Do men need to feel wanted?

When it comes to relationships, men have always played the most competitive role: To find a partner who matches their particularities. Women, on the other hand, have traditionally taken on a much more passive role, limiting themselves to accepting or not accepting their suitors.

In other words, the man had to make the woman feel euphoria at the desired feeling, and the opposite was very unusual.

However, in a new era, the roles of the sexes have changed and their differences have become very blurred. Will this change also affect the way men experience sex and love life? Do they need to feel wanted like women, or is there something about the male mind that remains unchanged no matter how the times turn?

Expressing attraction

Any portrayal of a conqueror and the male “gallant” has the same stereotypical characteristics: a person who, when facing women, only uses her ingenuity and ability to improvise to find new ways to make her feel important and wanted. . From help with the simplest things (sitting down, climbing stairs) to providing constant completions.

The idea is, even if it sounds simple (because it really is), add to one’s own attractiveness the pleasant experience of feeling attractive in the company of this man in question. This makes the idea of ​​feeling wanted is seen as an ‘extra’, which is received from the outside and increases the predisposition to have a relationship with someone. But … could it be that this same feeling is a human necessity, something that he doesn’t normally receive?

At least that’s what some research suggests; the man also appreciates very much the fact of feeling wanted as part of the romantic or sexual experience.

Who takes the initiative, men or women?

In a qualitative survey conducted with the help of 26 young men who volunteered, the results showed that about 40% of them not only did not positively appreciate the idea of ​​having sex without felt wanted, but were rather reluctant to come to terms with the idea that they should always be the ones who are unilaterally interested in the other person.

In other words, even if the traditional roles still have influence, they could mask a significant number of men who question the idea that it is the woman who should “be seduced”.

In another study with similar characteristics, the number of men who expressed preferences for equal treatment when “making contact” with an unknown or relatively unknown person was 72%. In other words, in this case, most of the participants expected from the woman a more active attitude that would make them feel like they were wanted, instead of just being the ones who open the conversation and take the reins of the dialogue and the conversation. dialogue approach.

In addition, the number of men who claimed that the traditional role of “gallant” demanded too much of them and was unsatisfactory was in the majority among this percentage of participants; simply they felt that there was no valid reason for the woman to remain in a passive position without showing signs that the person in front of him is attracting him.

receive compliments

Complementing on the positive qualities of men is generally not a typical seduction strategy for women, compared to what the opposite sex does. However, changes in gender roles seem to weaken those differences in behavior in which the habit of meeting potential romantic or sexual partners has been maintained, so this appears to be changing.

And how is this evolution taking place? For now, in the minds of men, and perhaps soon in the way women approach the search for sporadic or stable partners.

For example, they can initiate approaches with strangers, express what they like about the other person (whether physical or psychological), not show taboos about sex, and take the initiative to make decisions about plans that can be made during a date.

The stigmatization of the conqueror woman

However, for this change to happen, it is important that the stigma of women behaves in a masculine way and that, in the realm of emotional and sexual relationships, it has to do with the bad image of promiscuous women.

Masculinity that remains in the culture, even in Western countries or with great Western influencesThis causes women who express their attraction and interest in men to face major stigma that has serious repercussions on the way their social circles treat them. This stigma acts as an anchor that not only prevents men from forever ceasing to have the responsibility of taking the initiative but, more importantly, women from feeling comfortable expressing their sexuality.

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