Achieving a stable, healthy and happy relationship is possible. In couple mediation sessions, it is very common to find a number of common bonds that lead to the couple’s discomfort and desire to break up.
For this reason, many couples turn to mediation to try to find solutions and help in this crucial part of our life. This is why I am giving you a number of keys to achieve this.
Towards a happy relationship
These are the most important keys to keep in mind to keep the emotional bond in the relationship strong.
1. There are no perfect relationships
This is the first key concept we will be working on. All relationships have their weaknesses. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
Demystifying this concept will make you free to work on your own happiness as a the important thing for a couple is not their problems but their desire to face them.. And this is the first key to success, not having an idealized image of the relationship and outside of any logical and achievable reality.
2. You exist and you must have a space outside of your partner
Take control of your life. Your happiness depends on you. Having your own space is key, loving yourself too.
Only your happiness can be created by you; therefore, if you become addicted to your mood with your partner, you will be emotionally and behaviorally enslaved, and this can wipe you out completely and forfeit your happiness.
3. Define the relationship you really want
Once you are free with the previous two keys, define how you can and want to be in a relationship. What are you willing to give and consent to and what to expect in a logical and realistic way. Set limits for both parties.
No one can read our minds. Trying to draw conclusions without being sure, generates irrational thoughts far from reality that will make us suffer senseless. Demonstrate empathy and active listening.
At times when they need to negotiate, summarize what you have understood, without bitterness on the part of either party and always trying to reach agreements thus avoiding discussions. It is your partner, not your enemy or your enemy.
5. Apologize and forgive
Living without resentment sets us free. Try to understand your partner better and avoid being defensive. He welcomes his displays of repentance and reconciliation. And, if you can’t, if you always expect the worst, analyze yourself. Is it still worth it ?, Why are you like this ?, Can it be fixed?
6. Accept the differences
It doesn’t matter what sets them apart as a couple, it doesn’t matter what unites them. Whatever they are, negotiate and establish an equal relationship where each party gives in to make the other happy. If one always gives in to the other, an imbalance occurs which in the long run is neither sustainable nor healthy.
7. Quality time together
It is very important that you spend time with your happy partner. Do something that they both love and enjoy. A time programmed to pamper, take care of, laugh, love. Once a week, a month, when they can, but you have to create that time and that space that will unite them and make them strong to face the bad times.
8. Practice gratitude
Well, yes, a gesture as simple as thanking and acknowledging what the other has done well is something that dilutes over time. We stop thanking from the bottom of our hearts, we stop valuing certain gestures, attitudes, behaviors … because we already understand it as part of the routine and we stop giving it importance.
9. Unconditional love
Don’t put any limits on your love. You cannot be in this constant struggle; either you accept your partner or not. Being at constant war will lead you to chronic exhaustion and relationship death.
Set limits, negotiate them, meet them and from there relax and enjoy. Everything can be solved if both parties are in balance.
This is the ultimate key. Believe me. If there is no reason not to, there is no reason to live with suspicion. Demand it the same for you. If both parties stick to the agreements of the relationship, they can live and let live.
Remember that a healthy and happy couple is one where respect, balance and trust are present. There will always be problems, it’s about solving them together. It is above all about helping each other.
Never allow physical or emotional violence, abuse of any kind, disrespect or controlling behavior. Couples are the sum of two people with their own identity, who, although they share a lot of things, must continue to respect their individual roles that do not threaten the well-being of the same, and where each can continue to be develop and have its space.
Would you like to dig deeper ?, Do you think you need help in this regard? Contact me, we will provide the relationship you want.