In relationships, human beings find the greatest learning, the greatest satisfaction and the most relevant and transcendent experiences of our life … but also the greatest difficulties.
Our fears and anxieties flow into the relationship with greater intensityAs if this emotional bond involved some kind of emotional catharsis. What are these fears and anxieties leading you to? Where do they come from? And above all: how to fix it?
Fear of relationships
Humans are naturally social, emotional, and emotional animals. We need contacts and relationships with others to know ourselves and grow. “The other” is a kind of mirror in which we reflect.
But the relationship or sentimental relationship is different. This mirror reflects our best qualities (the ability to love, understand and support, precisely through differences) and also our deepest difficulties arise (fear of abandonment, the need to want to be in control, use of the couple as a reflex to explode, jealousy, insecurities, dissatisfaction, etc.).
Pair learning is self-learning
The couple relationship is a projection of the state of learning and personal development in which we are. Sometimes we think our relationship is going well just because our expectations are met, but this is usually only common in the early stages of the relationship, where two completely different people meet and unite only based on their own. similarities and their compatibilities.
Over time, come the difficulties, the differences, a kind of struggle for the ego and where the greatest fears and anxieties are felt. Where do these fears come from?
Each person has a very particular and small point of view on reality. Everyone interprets reality according to their vision, their belief system, their self-esteem and especially their way of managing their emotions. It makes you believe that “you are” in a certain way you have specific needs (which are usually fictitious and are also the product of those fears or anxieties). All these difficulties are generally reflected in the couple and the attitudes end up being defensive.. Instead of accompanying each other, we struggle and try to control the other to match our point of view and our view of what life should be like.
The conclusion is simple: you cannot and should not try to control everything outside of you.
How fear works
Fear is a necessary, fundamental and fundamental emotion for survival. Fear helps you protect your life. So the problem with fear and apprehension is not your fears per se, but how you deal with your emotions and those particular fears.
Fears in a relationship are often too abstract, unreal, a projection of an event that did not happen. We have learned to live with fear not because of our past experiences, but because we have not been able to understand and deal with our emotions in times of difficulty. This leaves you a mark that is reflected in the couple. However, it is precisely the relationship that is a perfect opportunity to erase that mark, learn to understand and deal with your emotions and have them on your side rather than against you.
Manage emotions to build confidence and security and overcome fears in the couple
Emotions are the basis of everything that happens to us because we are emotional beings and emotion is a constant in our life, which influences not only our mood, but also every decision we make, our behavior, our way. to communicate and understand life and interpret situations.
Managing emotions is a lifelong learning process. It includes 3 necessary learnings: learn to understand your emotions and no longer live conditioned by them, learn to manage them functionally with a specific action plan, and learn to build confidence and security in your life and that this learning is eternal. (because they mainly learn from you).
If you want to take the plunge, you can register for free at Emociona’t dins empoderamientohumano.com, where you can immerse yourself in your emotions and take the necessary steps to learn to manage them forever and have them by your side. against you.
Relationships, with all their difficulties and difficult times, are the most revealing experience in our life because they show us who we are and, most importantly, who we are not. The question of who you are is hard to answer, but you can tell who you are not: you are not all of those fears, anxieties, and insecurities. Transcending will be the key to living well, both with oneself and with the other.