You might think that the opposite of love is not hate, but the failure of love. The feeling of loss often referred to as “being heartbroken” it is a type of grief that can be very difficult to deal with. Not only does this lead to loss in the face of future situations (the inability to feel and act the same with a certain person) but it also makes us consider the authenticity of all the experiences we have had in the business. real or imagined of that person.
The feeling of being heartbroken is hard not only because of the material changes that come with it, like not seeing or seeing much less of a person, but also because of the existential doubts it introduces into us. Have we experienced unrequited love? Has the other person changed or is it us? Did our relationship necessarily have to end or could we have fixed it? Did we do something to deserve to be heartbroken?
These are not questions we ask ourselves at a distance with which a scientist studies a group of cells: they are doubts that are caused by a series of feelings such as guilt, sadness and disappointment, and how responding will also have a clear emotional impact on us.
Can a broken heart be healed?
It is clear that the fact that our hearts are broken (or rather that we are heartbroken ourselves) has a very big impact on our lives. time well … Will these feelings and ideas stay here forever? Is it irremediable that this malaise is chronic in us?
Feelings of sadness and helplessness can suffocate, but broken hearts can be healed. Healing a broken heart can take time and effort, but it is possible for a simple reason: In the same way that emotional pain has been caused by a series of learned behaviors and thoughts, anything we learn can be unlearned. It makes us feel bad. .
To get down to business with this recovery, rather than focusing on tips for healing a broken heart, it’s important to focus on ideas, vital principles that must accompany us on a daily basis. After all, advice can only be given if the circumstances of each person are known and can be examined and discussed between the two parties.
The solution, then, is to embrace certain ideas and keys to life that cause us to rearrange the patterns with which we interpret our surroundings, ourselves and others. Here you can read 7 of these keys.
1. Open up new possibilities
Feeling heartbroken is an anomaly that can lead you to experience new situations. and atypical that we would not have known otherwise. For example, if you are feeling lonely, it will lead you to take the initiative and meet other people who in the future could be very valuable to you.
If you feel so bad that you don’t want to do anything, forcing yourself to do the opposite of what your body is telling you (to break away from the dynamics of sadness) can lead to the same result. Either way, you will be doing things that you weren’t used to doing, and in a new way. Opportunities can be extracted from negative feelings.
- I recommend you read: “Guide to meeting new people: places, skills and tips”
2. The broken heart as a motor of creativity
Many times even the most unfavorable situations can be taken advantage of. The feelings triggered by feeling like you are heartbroken can be a source of new creations that can also help you understand the pain you are feeling right now.
You can try to write down what you feel, Using your imagination to translate everything you would like to say word for word, or you can develop any project where you think that emotional activation you are feeling can help.
3. The powerful power of attention
Have you noticed that throughout history there have been great tragedies and irreparable losses and yet they don’t make you feel terribly bad every moment? It’s because, although you know many of these sad stories, you don’t pay attention to them in your everyday life.
If you think that this broken-hearted feeling can’t help you in any way, it is good to know that this pain is there because you are feeding it with your recurring actions and thoughts: It does not exist by itself. That is why a lot of advice that is usually given in these cases invites you to stay busy with something, to force yourself to focus on new tasks.
4. Embrace humanism
Accepting with a broken heart is accepting the idea that we are the ones who decide what to expect from others and from ourselves. There is no one who is indispensable or extraordinary beyond the value we place on ourselves.
Likewise, there is no objective measure that determines our own worth, or who we can or deserve to be with. We can decide all of this on the experiences we have in the present. Embracing the humanistic spirit will help us understand that it is we who give meaning and value to things.
It is good to keep in mind that we cannot control everything that goes on in our lives.. A lot of good and bad things happen regardless of our intentions, and therefore, we shouldn’t feel guilty about their existence.
The stoic idea that we only have to worry about what directly depends on what we are doing is very applicable in the case of a broken heart, which usually involves someone other than us.
6. Feeling bad is not bad
There is nothing wrong with expressing our sadness to others. Crying is very helpful in relieving pain, and so is sharing our thoughts with others.
When we are suffering from a broken heart, it is good to take advantage of all the help they offer us and not to reject it so as not to be a burden or sow discomfort. After all, we would do the same for others.
7. Denial does not solve anything
Trying to block out memories of what we’ve been through with someone will only make us focus more on those memories and bring them up all the time. Likewise, denying that we feel bad when we clearly don’t will only point out a tension that we cannot give in, and the way we behave will become totally artificial.
To give way to the pain of a broken heart, you have to accept that these feelings are there, And they won’t be leaving in a few minutes.