People with this affective disorder often have difficulty detecting where emotional needs begin and end.
By not visualizing the limits fixed between the two members of the couple, the person is trapped in a kind of emotional vacuum. in which you might find yourself trapped for a long time.
Characteristics of emotional dependence on couples
In general, the emotionally dependent person tends to be attracted to dominant or narcissistic traits, and in addition, this attraction is generally mutual with such profiles.
Because they haven’t learned properly what it means to have a healthy relationship, these topics they may find themselves involved in dysfunctional and unequal relationships in which there is role play. Usually one of the couple is the dominant one, and the other will submit by taking a submissive position.
There are cases where these roles alternate between the two subjects, but they are difficult to perceive as equal, unlike what happens in secure attachment relationships.
The beginning of the relationship is usually marked by heightened and somewhat disproportionate intensity. The fireworks are the soundtrack of this meeting.
However, the person who develops this emotional disorder linked to a relationship begins to enter an enchanted forest where, little by little, it will begin to fade away.
The dependent person is usually trapped in a relationship that over time ceases to add value to life. However, the taste left by fireworks early in the relationship causes a deep desire to relive them.
Although the feeling of discomfort may last over time, and the dependent person is not able to leave the relationship because they are waiting to regain the intensity experienced before.
By not finding it in a positive way, you will tend to look for it even if it is in a negative way., for example through heated and disproportionate discussions.
A dysfunctional relationship that keeps people trapped
The narcissist and the dependent part an emotional disability that they supplement with each other. Just as the addict believes that he needs another person to stop feeling the permanent emptiness with which he is used to living, the narcissist also needs the other to exist, because they are usually completely empty people and nourished by the vital energy of those around him. him.
The addict is satisfied with an unconditional love for his narcissist so that he does not abandon him and thus avoids reconnecting with the emotional void that is inherent in it.
The narcissist can abuse the addict by playing power games and sometimes they can take a submissive position if they see that they can benefit from it. Emotional dependency relationships are dangerous because both members of the couple they run the risk of losing their identity as individuals and in addition, they can be addicted to their partner whom they generally regard as an emotional provider.
The cases of gender-based violence largely reflect the addiction of those people who find themselves trapped by their abuser who, perhaps the latter is someone with a narcissistic character and with celotypical traits.
In the most serious cases, both members of the couple are completely overwhelmed by their partner and may find it difficult to break this vicious cycle.
Emotional addiction it is comparable to the addiction that certain chemicals produce in drug addicts; these people also share similar behavioral patterns, as the same neurological processes are activated as those who suffer from a certain addiction. It is common that when the person manages to leave the relationship, they go through a period of rehabilitation during which symptoms may arise due to abstinence which involves deprivation of the emotional provider.
The neuropsychological basis of the problem
Usually, in the process of falling in love, the brain secretes a series of hormones that are the source of a healthy and necessary attachment to the couple. However, when there is a lag in this process, a hormonal cocktail occurs that can result in a connection similar to what an alcoholic might experience with the drink.
The dependent is usually a very demanding person of the couple, because no matter how much attention the other gives to him, he never gets enough and needs more and more emotional demonstrations.
What can be done?
Each of us deserves a healthy relationship that provides you with true well-being and provides us with emotional security. Completing this vicious cycle is a complicated process, but not impossible.
These situations usually occur in people marked by deep emotional wounds, and therefore, the key to starting to overcome this emotional imbalance is to detect the injury and then begin to heal it..
One of the most common injuries hidden behind these behaviors is the emotional injury of abandonment. The person may have experienced real abandonment in their childhood and it is likely that they did not even experience abandonment in a real way, but the child may have felt helpless or have the feeling of abandonment of the child. one of his parents.
This injury is activated when the person comes into contact with the emotional world, releasing the pain that emanates from it and subsequently creating these behavioral patterns.
Before starting a new relationship, it is essential be content with self-esteem so that we can then share it with another person, because we cannot deliver what we have not cultivated before.
Learning to be alone and enjoy your own company can be an eye-opening experience if you open up to it without resistance. Remember that within you there is still the child you once were, wanting to be satisfied with love and that you alone are responsible for welcoming it properly.