Although each case is a world, the fact that two people are in a relationship means that there is a situation in which the two individuals say they are attracted to each other and a series of feelings that make them want to stay. together. More specifically, love involves the existence of a balance between elements such as passion, intimacy and commitment.
As a rule, some evolution tends to be expected and the acquisition of an increasing factor of one of the last of these factors depending on the relationship progresses, being one of the stages that usually takes the fact go live together.
However, everyone has their own pace and sometimes the idea of going to live together can arise too early for one of the components of the couple. If we are that person and still don’t feel prepared, or if we really don’t want to live with them, then the moment we are elevated can become a serious commitment. Faced with the question of “How do I tell my partner that I don’t want to go live with him?“In this article we will try to give a series of tips on what to do in this situation.
I don’t want to go live with my partner: how do you tell him?
Living together is something that makes many couples very horny and usually involves a breakthrough in the level of commitment in the relationship. In general, those who propose coexistence usually do so with good intentions and as a way of trying to have a closer and more stable relationship.
Saying no to such a proposal is sometimes extremely complicated, especially if we love that person and perceive that they are really turned on and would like to live with us. But better to say no than to pretend to be excited or do something against our will. Here are some tips on how to do it.
1. Analyze the reason for your reluctance
Before deciding anything, we need to ask ourselves whether or not we want to live with our partner and why there are such doubts or refusals. It should be clear that not wanting to live with someone doesn’t have to imply not wanting that person, but it can also lead to the possibility that we don’t really see a future next to him or her.
We can have afraid to make a bigger commitment than we have so far, That we have had previous adverse experiences that make us doubt the viability of living together, that we do not know if we know enough about this person or that it is simply something that we do not want to do at the moment .
2. Don’t answer evasively
It is possible that when faced with an innuendo from the couple about going to live together, there is fear or concern that they will feel offended if we say no. Many people tend to answer evasively or change the subject. This only leads to a temporary avoidance of the problem to be faced and will generate a higher level of tension in the one who will, as well as a lack of communication. It’s best to try to handle the situation and respond confidently.
3. Express yourself confidently, calmly and clearly explain your point of view.
Directly related to the above. We try to communicate to our loved one that we do not want to go and live with this person, but without generating a couple conflict. It is advisable to establish the conversation calmly, without panicking.
we must clarify our point so that there are no misunderstandings, Sincerely but tactfully and trying not to offend or hurt the other person. After all, we don’t want to go live with him, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want him. There is no need to give a solemn connotation at the time, it can also be done in a relaxed way as long as the other person is receptive and depending on how they suggested it.
4. Postulate that what you reject is not him / her, but living together
Many people, and especially if there is an underlying insecurity, may come to believe that if we refuse to live with them, it is because we do not really value them enough to be with them, that we don’t take our relationship seriously or even directly that we don’t want them. It is worth clarifying after the refusal that rejection is towards living this moment, not towards the person in oneself or towards the relationship with him or her.
5. A future possibility?
It may also happen that at this stage you do not intend to start a cohabitation with the other person, but you may consider that in the future this is a desirable option. Communication is generally positive. Of course, it is important that if we say it, it is because it is true and not a simple excuse to get out of the way.
6. Validate and accept your reaction
It will not be strange that a rejected proposal to live together is experienced with discomfort or even with a certain anger. As long as there is no violence, we must try understand that the other person may feel offended. Getting angry about a bad reaction would only make the situation worse and could lead to a discussion. Thus, it is necessary to try to validate their reaction.
7. Explain why
It is possible that after analyzing the situation, there is a specific reason why we do not want to live with this person. It may be too earlyWe can be afraid of possible changes in the relationship, that it will not be good for us financially or that we have a different plan for the future.
Such factors can be explored and it is important that they communicate so that a fluid relationship can be established in which the feelings, beliefs and expectations of both people are taken into account. In addition to the specific case, it can also be used for learn more from each other or even later to correct problems and insecurities.
8. Encourage them to express themselves
In addition to understanding and validating the other’s reaction, it is advisable to make them say what they think about it, so that you can both better understand the situation and assess your opinions about the situation or what you are doing. feel with it. This doesn’t mean that you try to force him to speak if he doesn’t want to, but to make him understand that his opinion is important to you.