The end of a love affair is not only painful emotionally; moreover, they make us feel a sense of loss of control over our lives. Therefore, it is normal for those who go through these experiences to ask a question that virtually everyone who suffers from a lack of love asks: How long does it take to overcome the breakup?
In the following lines, we will see what is known about the duration of this psychological recovery process.
How long does it take to overcome the breakup?
No psychological change happens overnight, neither in theory nor in practice. Just trying to force yourself to stop feeling bad immediately is ineffective at best and harmful at worst.
In case of rupture, it is very clear. The love affair that was lived with another person goes away a very powerful emotional imprint which should not disappear at the moment that suits us, as if it were a computer file. Our brains don’t work by obeying our desires because they are there long before we start to think about the emotions we are feeling.
Therefore, time is key to overcoming a breakup; Whether we like it or not, we need this ingredient to make us feel better when we realize that one of these chapters in our life is coming to an end. And how long does this period last?
According to research by University College London and Binghamton University and the results published in the journal Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences, in most cases, it takes between six months and two years for people to consider overcoming a breakup. However, there are many factors that seem to influence the time required and the gender of the person is one of them.
Women recover sooner after lack of love
As evidenced by the data collected from this research, based on questionnaires administered to more than 5,000 people in 96 countries, Women suffer more intensely than men when the rupture has occurred recently, but they also recover sooner than the latter. In fact, from what has been seen, it’s relatively common for men to start another relationship without having gotten over a previous breakup at all.
One possible explanation for this difference between women and men is that they tend to invest more in each relationship, as their well-being is more compromised due to the possibility of being mothers and the cultural pressure associated with being a mother. gender role. they tend to assume that they have to adopt a competitive mindset in love. This would make many women suffer from the breakup faster, while men would still endure the pressure of having to get the attention of a potential partner.
The importance of resilience
It is true that time is an important factor in overcoming a breakup, but it is also true that each person has a different way of dealing with adversity. This ability to adapt to the blows (metaphorically speaking) that life gives us is called resilience.
As strange as it may sound, there are those who have almost no resilience. It’s not that these are people who don’t want to fight to get out of this kind of pothole; precisely, when things get worse it is very easy for us to lose control of our attitudes and habits, And therefore, there are those who, going through a bad time, feel utterly incapable of doing anything other than trying to resign themselves, or even fantasize about their own miseries.
It is very possible that resilience has a genetic component in part, so that different people have varying degrees of ease or difficulty in overcoming it, but there is no doubt that the environmental and learned aspect is fundamental. Therefore, internalizing a number of skills can shorten the time it takes to overcome a breakup, improve our resilience, but they can also be behaviors learned voluntarily or unintentionally. unnecessarily prolong this period of suffering.
Therefore, some people will have to undergo psychological therapy in order to have some kind of “emotional training”; others will only need the support of family and friends, etc. The important thing is to be clear that resilience, whether applied to lack of love or any other aspect of life, is an individual thing, and that the research focuses on the time it takes to recovering psychologically after a break-up is a general trend, the result of statistics. and not the functioning of his brain. In emotions, there are no clear rules that no one can surpass; each one must explore this always mysterious jungle which is its own spirit.