How to act when a man is playing with you: 4 tips

Through emotions and feelings, we can connect with others and show empathy, but that also has its downsides. Among other things, emotions open up a new path in which we are psychologically vulnerable, as it allows us to get excited about projects that are in fact a hoax.

It is for this reason that many people who undergo psychological therapy do so with one question in mind: How to act when a man is playing with you? While both men and women can emotionally manipulate other people, when a male person tends to give certain facts more likely, it is worth seeing what they are.

So in this article we will try to answer this question related to cases of emotional manipulation when the manipulator is a man.

    Signals that play with your feelings

    One of the keys to the emotional manipulation that happens when a man plays with your feelings is that it is not obvious what is going on, especially from the victim’s perspective.

    The hope of having a meaningful and intimate relationship with the other makes things that might betray their true intentions go more unnoticed.

    However, there are signs which, when analyzed as objectively as possible, help us to know if what is going on is that there is indeed a man playing with you (or trying to do so). ). In many cases, he will use traditional male roles they are historically linked to the concept of authority and rationality: that is, it is easier for them to show that they are right and that it is others who are wrong or too confused. Let’s see.

    1. Use gas lighting

    Gaslighting involves attributing negative personal actions to misinterpretations of who witnesses these behaviors.

    In fact, the person who uses gaslighting to manipulate another he is able to blame the victim for feeling bad about what is happening, Scolding for not paying attention or for “being weak” or overly sensitive.

      2. He promises a lot of things but doesn’t accomplish them

      It’s common for manipulative people to feign an interest in the other person that just isn’t real. It’s just a way to win her favor, give her hope and reasons not to sever the relationship.

      This can be detected by taking into account the occasions when broken promises appear. Of course, infidelities are a clear example of a broken commitment in cases where a relationship has been established with that person.

      3. Don’t pay attention to details

      In both men and women, when one plays with the other’s feelings, we tend to do so without really being interested in the nature of the victim; only essential details are remembered so that it is not obvious that there is no intention to consider her a loved one.

      Therefore, by paying attention to ourselves, we strive to remember the details of how we are, what we like and what we don’t like, what our past is and other nuances. that create our identity, we’ll see if we’re one of the things we value. most or if he only claims to love or esteem for us in an interested and instrumental way, to keep up appearances.

      How to act when a man is playing with you?

      To find out what to do in these cases, follow these step-by-step tips and recommendations.

      1. Take a good distance

      To get to have as objective and neutral as possible about what is going onYou need to focus on the facts as you know they happened and draw conclusions from them.

      You should avoid taking statements such as “you don’t want me” or “play with me” as a starting point, as these are ideas that we will conclude anyway once we consider all that is relevant. ‘happened, but not before.

      For that, it is good to create lists and diagrams that describe the situation. When you see a statement in which a very subjective interpretation of the facts is implied, delete it and replace it with another.

      2. Make a decision

      Once you have a more or less objective description of what’s going on, stop thinking whether the extent to which this person has played with your feelings is worth stopping to see them or letting them know how you feel and giving them reasonable time (for both) to correct their attitude.

      If you decide to end the friendship or relationship that you’ve had forever, or that after a while has not changed significantly for the better, move on to the next tip.

      3. Don’t obsess over what you might think

      In situations where we decide to end the relationship we had with someone, we usually find ourselves in a dilemma that raises two options: prioritizing your own feelings or prioritizing the feelings of the other.

      In this case, it is very important to focus on what one feels, and thus to let go of the responsibility of making the other feel a certain way.

      If, on the contrary, you give in to the desire to make the other person perceive us as we want, we will nurture a dynamic for which we will continue to depend on the other. In other words, if you do this, you actually allow them to keep playing with your emotions.

      4. Avoid guilt

      In these cases, it’s easy to make the mistake of blaming yourself for failing to make the relationship work.

      However, that’s just it a consequence of the fact that they played with us and they have created a dynamic of dependence in which one part gives a lot and the other gives almost nothing. Having analyzed the facts as objectively as possible will protect us from these negative thoughts.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Rubin, Z. (1973). To love and to love: an invitation to social psychology. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
      • Phelps, S., Austin, N. (1987). The assertive woman. Impact editors.

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