How to avoid marriage stagnation: 6 key tips

Since relationships are one of the most important areas in the life of those who are in it, it is normal that this path can also appear many issues that can harm us emotionally.

However, not all relationship issues have to go hand in hand with emotional pain itself, as we usually understand it. Sometimes the problem is precisely the absence of strong feelings and emotions, and a clear example of this is the stagnation of the couple.

In this article we will see some tips for dealing with stagnant relationships, As well as an explanation of what this phenomenon consists of.

    What do we mean by stagnation in a relationship?

    In the context of the psychology of the field of couple relations, stagnation in the couple is always a form of emotional stagnation. This means that it has to do with aspects of the relationship that should generate excitement and motivate us to continue cultivating that bond with the other person, and that for some reason they no longer exist or are very. weak.

    Thus, we do not speak of stagnation in the couple if, for example, two people have lived in the same material conditions for many years, or if they have been engaged for decades and do not marry, it is not either something related to any change that may occur on an objective level: it should be noted that in all these cases what changes is not the emotional connection itself, but non-essential aspects of the relationship (which are also linked to a notion of “progress” of the relationship which is debatable, or at least not valid for everyone). The stagnation we’re talking about here is totally tied to emotions, and not so much to social conventions about what to expect from a court or a wedding.

    People who feel uncomfortable due to the stagnation of the relationship experience do not feel excited about the prospect of continuing in this relationship because they notice that staying in this relationship does not make them feel that good things are to come. , and that the emotions and feelings that flow for them through this facet of their day-to-day life are unnecessary or directly so predictable that they can be ignored. This way, boredom is usually feelings associated with stagnation in the couple.

    Tips for avoiding stagnation in relationships

    It is clear that there are no magic recipes for solving the problems that a relationship may experience, and that one cannot try to get out of emotional crises or cohabitation without adapting the solutions to the particular context of the relationship. every marital or court relationship.

    Precisely because of this, the most effective way (by far) to improve this type of relationship is to go see the psychologist, Since he thus benefits from the support and supervision of a professional expert in the subject, who also offers a training program in communication and emotional management adapted to each case, either in individual therapy sessions or in sessions with the two couple members present.

    However, that does not mean that there is not a series of steps to be taken to increase the possibility of reorienting a relationship on the right track, bringing it out of stagnation. They don’t guarantee success, but they make us more inclined to reconnect emotionally with one another by adopting new habits and new ways of thinking and expressing ourselves. Here we will look at several of these psychological keys in the form of tips.

    1. Create a priority list

    To make the relationship stronger again and get the inertia you had before, it is important to set medium and short term goals; something as simple as putting a plan of activities to do together on the table may be the starting point you need. Think that these shared experiences are also subjects of conversation and memories that unite us and allow you to expect pleasant sensations, projecting them into the future.

    To achieve this, start by making a list of interests ranked from most important to least important, and then see how they match up. It will make it easier to rediscover those commonalities that you may have forgotten or overlooked due to the monotony of what you were doing.

    2. Stop wondering if there are any taboo topics that keep the relationship cold

    Fear of opening conversations about topics that matter most to you can lead you to adopt a distant attitude towards the other person, even if you don’t realize it.. This is why it is important to agree on a time and place to talk about these things, making it clear that there is no prejudice and that in any case a consensual solution should not be adopted. (there are aspects that affect only one of the parts).

      3. If necessary, experiment with sexuality

      It is possible that stagnation was also observed in the area of ​​sexuality.. But intimate relationships like this are one of the most interesting sources of satisfaction not only in the world of immediate sensations, but also in terms of expectations on what the week we are going to treat ourselves, for example. Innovate in this aspect of your life, but yes, without fixed schedules that repeat themselves week after week.

      4. Create projects together

      these projects they don’t have to be professionalsBut to assume a chain of intermediate goals and objectives that can last for months or years This medium is more of a means of continuing to know the person you want through other facets.

      5. Unlock conflicts

      Confused conflicts can lead you to adopt a passive-aggressive attitude that turns the relationship into barren territory.. Developing communication skills to seek consensus and leave resentment behind past discussions is essential in these cases. So agree to talk about it at a specific time and place, specifying two basic rules: do not shout, do not reproach and do not look for guilty or penances, but solutions and acts of reparation. optionally.

      6. Consider the non-incapacity of this relationship

      Although it may seem contradictory, being aware that one can decide at any time to break this relationship helps unravel the situation. Not only is it fundamental to avoid toxic relationships, but it leads us to adopt a constructive state of mind, rather than a passive and resigned state of mind.

      Are you looking for psychological assistance?

      If you want to overcome a psychological problem that affects you on a daily basis or that creates discomfort in your family relationships or between partners, contact me.

      I am a psychologist specializing in cognitive-behavioral psychology, and I serve individuals as well as professionals and companies, in person or online via videoconferencing sessions. On this page you can find my contact details.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Blow, AJ and Hartnett, K. (2005). Infidelity in Committed Relationships II: A Substantial Examination. Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy, 31: pages 217-233.
      • Bustamante, J. (2016). Sexuality and couple therapy: the couple from a global approach. Madrid, Spain: UNED.
      • Carreño, M. (1991). Psychosocial aspects of romantic relationships. Saint-Jacques-de-Compostelle: University of Saint-Jacques-de-Compostelle.
      • Christensen A .; Atkins DC; Baucom B .; Yi J. (2010). Marital status and satisfaction five years after a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional behavioral couples therapy to integration. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 78 (2): pp. 225 – 235.
      • Hussain, M., Price, DM, Gesselman, AN, Shepperd, JA and Howell, JL (2020). Avoid information about the romantic couple. Journal of social and personal relationships. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407520969856

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